"Too Low Income for Low Income" - Advice for my Parent (Fairfax: rent, mortgage)

[AmyinNOVA]

Hello, I am at my wits end and I don't know where else to turn. I was hoping maybe someone out there would have some options for me.

My mother and my father split up about 10 years ago... but they did not get divorced. My dad ran off to Texas with some woman and left his ill estranged wife behind who has never worked a day in her life and is providing no financial support for her whatsoever. I have no brothers or sisters and for lack of a better phrase my dad got the hell out and made my mother my problem.

My mom bought a trailer after my dad left and has a boyfriend. He is sort of abusive and does not really help her pay the bills. As I said, she has never worked a day in her life and cannot drive. She is also a little mentally "off" and is very sick. She gets SSI benefits from the government but how on earth they expect someone to live off of 600 dollars a month is beyond me.

She has credit card debt and the trailer payment and the lot rent for the development that they live in. Just the lot rent for the development is over 600 dollars a month which she wouldn't be able to buy food, pay for utilities or pay the mortgage on the trailer.

I have spoken with some social services people who said they could not help me because my mom "does not make enough money to be considered low income" ... if she's not low income then what the hell is she?

She lives right now out in Bealeton and I live in Fairfax with my family. And if you have read any of my posts we're going to move to Fredericksburg soon to try and save money. I barely have enough money to support my own family without trying to support my mother too.

My husband has on several occassions said that if she ever lived with us we would probably end up getting divorced because she would drive him (and me) absolutely insane. She is my mother and I love her but she is impossible to live with.

Anyhoo, I know I'm venting my stuff out into the world of cyber space but I was just wondering if there is absolutely nothing that can be done to help my mother and her living situation except for her to live with me? I can't just tell her to get a roommate because she doesn't drive... she needs someone to drive her around to the store and to the doctor's office etc...

Has anyone else gone through this with a parent? My parents are in their mid 50's and it just pains me that they are not capable of taking care of themselves. I am not looking for sympathy here just wondering if there really aren't any sort of programs out there for people in this situation? Is there really such a thing as "sorry we won't help you because you don't make enough money to be considered needy"?

[Flamingo13]

Sorry for your problems, you might be better asking about in relationships or family or something? (not sure of all the forums) - it's not like they are in their 70's-80'8-90's......

[AmyinNOVA]

Thanks, yea... they are by no means elderly.

I posted it here mainly because a lot of programs are regional based and/or by county... so was hoping there were some knowledgeable people about county programs here in Northern VA.

[OrangeFish]

I would check with Fauquier County, starting with the Department of Social Services. Hopefully someone there can point you in the proper direction.

[ACWhite]

I'm really sorry to hear about this. If she weren't sick, there obviously would be other options for someone in her 50s versus much older than that.

Have you considered talking to a lawyer about this? Since she is still married, my guess as a non-lawyer is that may be curtailing some of her options, and a lawyer may be able to help with this or find a way to get some income or assets from your father. I realize lawyers are not cheap.

[Oldhag1]

Check to see if one of the law schools does a divorce clinic as part of their pro bono requirements.

[AmyinNOVA]

Thanks guys for the suggestions. Appreciate the tips, that's a good idea about the pro bono stuff.

[Forehead]

How is your relationship with your father? I feel like there's something that needs to be said to him, though I'm not sure exactly what.

[dkf747]

One of the S's in SSI means supplemental. It is not intended to be the sole income for someone. That doesn't stop people from trying though. I've been in the "earn too much to qualify for help, but not enough to qualify for..." situation for a long time, but this is a new one to me. I second the comment on checking with Social Services to see what they can suggest.

[Yankeesfan]

Social Services