Should we put our son in Kindergarten or 1st Grade? (Fairfax: credit, daycare) - Northern Virginia - Virginia (VA) - City-Data Forum

redrice · 03-10-2015, 09:17 AM

One week till the public school registration, and we're still trying to decide whether to put our son in Kindergarten or 1st grade in the Fall! He's attending private kindergarten now because he missed the cutoff date for public kindergarten by 2.5 months (December birthday). Anyone has kids in similar situation (now or in the past)? What did you decide and are you happy with your decision? On one hand we're worried that if he repeats kindergarten next year, he'd be bored the entire time. Plus we're in Loudoun County so it's only half-day. On the other hand, we're worried about potential bullying issue later on due to his age/size, and of course academic/emotional/social readiness. His teacher seems to think that he is doing OK and should be ready for the 1st grade. But still, I wonder if it's the best thing for the kid. Any feedback would be appreciated. Thank you!

FCNova · 03-10-2015, 09:22 AM

I would probably just send him to K with the rest of his peers. If he missed it by 2 days it would be one thing, but 2.5 months is a lot. Is there any specific reason you want him to be one grade ahead of other kids his age? Although I do think the half day K in Loudoun is a joke so I guess there is that...

tgbwc · 03-10-2015, 09:25 AM

I've known students who have come for registration with similar birthdates. They had also completed private kindergarten, but were still placed in kindergarten when they registered. The registrar wouldn't register them for first grade because they didn't meet the cut off. Perhaps Loudoun is different.

Vectorhead · 03-10-2015, 09:33 AM

I wouldn't put him in 1st grade unless he is clearly precocious in every way -- physically, socially, and emotionally as well as intellectually. Otherwise he'll be at a disadvantage for no good reason. And I'm definitely not one to say that all boys near the cutoff should be held back. But he misses the cutoff by a considerable amount. I wouldn't even consider it. And if he's bored next year (in reality he probably won't be -- there's SO much more to kindergarten than academics!), then it will work in your favor that it's only half a day.

Really, you shouldn't ask yourself "Why shouldn't we put him in 1st grade?" But instead ask "Why SHOULD we put him in 1st grade? What will we really gain and is it worth the potential risks?"

Mnseca · 03-10-2015, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by redrice

One week till the public school registration, and we're still trying to decide whether to put our son in Kindergarten or 1st grade in the Fall! He's attending private kindergarten now because he missed the cutoff date for public kindergarten by 2.5 months (December birthday). Anyone has kids in similar situation (now or in the past)? What did you decide and are you happy with your decision? On one hand we're worried that if he repeats kindergarten next year, he'd be bored the entire time. Plus we're in Loudoun County so it's only half-day. On the other hand, we're worried about potential bullying issue later on due to his age/size, and of course academic/emotional/social readiness. His teacher seems to think that he is doing OK and should be ready for the 1st grade. But still, I wonder if it's the best thing for the kid. Any feedback would be appreciated. Thank you!

Everything depends on the child, the school, and the teacher. If I had a kid who missed the public kindergarten date, then I would put him in K when he reached the right date, even if he'd done it before. I don't know Loudoun at all, but in Fairfax the K day is really long and stressful, and academically not really appropriate to 5 year olds. Older kids are doing much better than younger kids in my son's class in all respects, at least in general. He has a mid-year bday, so should have been fine, but there are so many red-shirted kids that's he's one of the younger ones, and he's really struggling socially and just having a hard time dealing with a long, boring, arduous day. Of course, a better teacher would have helped, and a half day would have been better. But since your son is not old for K, I would think there are more advantages to "repeating" it.

Don't underestimate just how much worse public can be than private - my son's class has 26 kids and the teacher is focused mainly on test prep. There is no play, nothing fun, no social time. The private school teacher may have no idea what the public school classroom looks like. You might consider meeting with the school principal to see what he/she thinks - I mean the principal where he will go next year.

Oldhag1 · 03-10-2015, 11:30 AM

Retired teacher with 27 years fulltime teaching experience, including a year in kindergarten here: put him in kindergarten. You can always advance him a year later if he is some academic superstar. Holding him back later, if it turns out he just wasn't emotionally or developmentally where he needed to be for that higher grade, is painful for all involved and generally is preceded by months or years of emotionally draining struggles.

It is only half a day anyway, so if he's bored it's not like it will be an all day ordeal.

redrice · 03-10-2015, 03:25 PM

Thank you so much everyone! As for why we are considering putting him one year ahead of his peers... no specific reason really. It all started last summer when we were faced a similar question: Do another year of pre-K, or go for the kindergarten program that the daycare offers (they were not accredited at that time but they are now). The teachers told us that he was ready for kindergarten, so we thought, why not? Now it just seems natural to go to the next grade. So honestly we didn't really put too much thought into this until recently. But now I see it's more than just K and 1st grade. I don't feel that my son is emotionally ready, to be honest. So that reason alone may be enough to hold him back one year.

Our primary concern about doing K another year was that he'd be bored, since he's attending full-time K now, and Loudoun County K is only 3 hours long (7:50am - 10:50am). At the same time, though, Oldhag1 brought up that it's only half day so it's not like he'd be bored that long.

Sometimes I forget that he is only a kid, and that one year, in the grand scheme of things, doesn't matter. There seems to be no apparent benefit for us to let him go ahead, but a lot of potential harms. Thank you all for making me see that!

cdmurphy · 03-10-2015, 04:10 PM

The other thing to consider - and it depends upon which public school he'll be attending - is that, in general, LCPS class sizes and schools are large. My kids are in first grade at a K-5 school with over 1000 students. There are eight 1st grade classrooms, with about 24-26 kids each. The numbers of kids moving around in the school can be overwhelming (the cafeteria is SO LOUD) and not all kids thrive in that kind of environment. If I were you, I would send him to K so he can get used to the way a large public school works. (Now, if your local school isn't one of the huge ones, this might be less of a factor, but I would still send my kid to K if he is going to be 5 when school starts.)

dreamweaverteam · 03-10-2015, 07:01 PM

I skipped kindergarten, (over 30 years ago, lol) but the way public school is run these days I would send him, especially since it is only half a day. It will help him get used to how the school system works, which is probably a lot different than the private K program he is in now. Having to hold him back later would cause many more problems than being a little bored for 3 hours a day as well, as someone mentioned.

jtees4 · 03-11-2015, 07:30 AM

Not exactly the same thing, but I was always ahead in school. I ended up two years ahead buy the time I started college at 16, OK only for a month, but it still sounds good

Anyway, based on my own experience....at times I was over my head and did not do as well as I should have . I was always near the bottom of my classes even though I would get by. I think I would have been better off if I had just stayed where I belong, I would have been near the top of all my classes. By the time I got to college I was also a bit tired of education, and ended up staying an extra year....just because I was not focused and took many classes I wanted instead of needed. I thing going ahead for me was a mistake. Good luck.