I live in Ohio - should I move to OC for career?

[zeekosu]

Thanks everyone for the advice. I actually recently just got laid off - haha. So, the job in Ohio wasn't as stable as I thought. Theoretically, that should make the decision slightly easier. I was offered 170k from this company in California. I figure that's a pretty good salary to be making in that area. However, moving back there is still a daunting task. I'd much rather move to Colorado or somewhere that has a lower cost of living and isn't so packed with people. However, I'd likely never make this kind of salary again in my life.

I've talked to my girlfriend and she very much wants to stay with me, whatever that takes - even if it means moving with me. However, she's a small town girl and I'm worried that she might be miserable in the LA/OC area.

[Amy1022]

Originally Posted by zeekosu

Here's my current situation...

-I'm 34 and live in Ohio.
-I have a decent job making about 90k per year. However, the job is somewhat boring and isn't exciting enough for me. Some days I'm ok with it, and other days, I just want to quit and walk out the front door. There's also no room to move up. I can't see myself in this job long term and really want to find another job. I'm very unhappy.
-I started dating a girl about 5 months ago. She's great. I feel very comfortable around her, and I love her (although I haven't told her yet). We really care about each other, we have lots of fun together and I've enjoyed getting to know her. Over time, I could see this being a woman that I might want to marry.

The problem...
-I recently got approached by a company in Los Angeles that I did some work for last year. It's a small startup. I'd potentially make close to 200k per year, along with equity in the company that could be worth approx 5 million dollars in 5 years if the company moves forward as planned.
-I will be traveling to LA in the next couple of weeks to meet with them to understand the details of their company and the exact details of their offer. However, from what I know so far, the benefits and perks are very good.
-I used to live in LA so I'm aware of the cost of living and the sacrifice that needs to be made coming from Ohio.
-Initially when they approached me I agreed to go out just to see and figured it'd just be a normal salary they'd offer. So, I told my girlfriend that I couldn't imagine it would turn into anything.
-If they do offer what I have described above, that could be a life changing opportunity - financially.
I don't want to live in LA long term, but if I could work a few years - maybe 5 tops to collect my equity and leave, that would be a great financial outcome.
-I have not talked to my girlfriend about the possibility that I might realistically think about this. I don't know how to bring it up with her or what to say. We've only been dating 5 months. I would definitely want to try a long distance thing with her if I did, but I don't know if she would consider that.

My questions...
-How do I bring this up with my girlfriend? I don't want to wait until the last minute. I want to have a conversation about what she would do. Do I ask her to move out there with me, or how should I approach this?
-Would this be a smart move? I lived in HB for 6 years but moved back to Ohio to be near my family and take care of them. I didn't consider the possibility of moving back, but this opportunity is making me think about it.

Thanks
Zeek

Now that Ive seen your update, I would certainly go there for a year at least, and see how your girlfriend adjusts. What is the worst thing that could happen? That she doesn't like living there? That you don't like the job? My feelings are you should ask yourself first how well do you know these people...but also consider this: they've asked you to move there, so obviously you're an important asset to them. I would go, and if things don't work out well, consider moving back. Just save what you can with the excellent salary, live there a year or two and then go back with enough income to perhaps settle down with girlfriend. How's that for a simple answer?
My niece and her husband moved out to LA last fall, from Brooklyn NY. He was like you, promised a great salary. They have no regrets and look like they're having a ball.
Good luck with what you decide to do.

[zeekosu]

So, I accepted the job but am now having serious 2nd thoughts. I feel like I went around and around about this and made an emotional decision. Even though it's great money, I'm having a problem dealing with moving away from my family. I had lived in California for a few years a while back and during that time my dads health declined. I eventually moved back to ohio but only got to spend a year or so with him before he passed away. My mom is almosy 70 and I'm worried about the same thing happening and regretting not being here for her or creating memories with her. I'll regret that more than missing out on a lot of money.

So now that I've accepted, I know it's not ethical to back out of an offer and if I did it'll probably give me a bad reputation. But, it's very tempting to do so, because I feel like if move I'll always be thinking about my family and what I gave up.

Granted, at some point i might have to move anyways since I got laid off and I'll have to find a job. Although, I have enough money in the bank to support myself for at least a year. That along with unemployment would allow me to take my time trying to find the right job. I'd very much like to stay near my family if I can find a job that can make that happen.

I don't know what to do now. Any advice?

[426HemiCA]

You will be making deccent money, set aside part of your budget for airfare and rental csrs so you can frequently go back to Ohio to visit as your schedule allows. Also, set mom up on Skype etc and communicate some that way too. Also, if mom is healthy and retired fly her out to California on occasion and show her around and visit that way too.

[expatCA]

Originally Posted by zeekosu

So, I accepted the job but am now having serious 2nd thoughts. I feel like I went around and around about this and made an emotional decision. Even though it's great money, I'm having a problem dealing with moving away from my family. I had lived in California for a few years a while back and during that time my dads health declined. I eventually moved back to ohio but only got to spend a year or so with him before he passed away. My mom is almosy 70 and I'm worried about the same thing happening and regretting not being here for her or creating memories with her. I'll regret that more than missing out on a lot of money.

So now that I've accepted, I know it's not ethical to back out of an offer and if I did it'll probably give me a bad reputation. But, it's very tempting to do so, because I feel like if move I'll always be thinking about my family and what I gave up.

Granted, at some point i might have to move anyways since I got laid off and I'll have to find a job. Although, I have enough money in the bank to support myself for at least a year. That along with unemployment would allow me to take my time trying to find the right job. I'd very much like to stay near my family if I can find a job that can make that happen.

I don't know what to do now. Any advice?

Keep your word to your new company. Second thoughts are very common and after a while they fade. Yes being away from your mother will hurt, but at 70 she has on average better than 16 more years ahead of her and that gives you time to make more money and visit regularly. Enjoy CA while you can.

[taimaishu]

Don't do it. You're taking away jobs from Native Californians. You're going to **** a lot of CA Conservatives if you move here to steal jobs and increase the cost of homes. This place is already crowded as is.

[Western Urbanite]

You should do it and you should bring it up right now!!!

[Western Urbanite]

Originally Posted by taimaishu

Don't do it. You're taking away jobs from Native Californians. You're going to **** a lot of CA Conservatives if you move here to steal jobs and increase the cost of homes. This place is already crowded as is.

Don't be selfish. Besides, a growth in population results in a growth in total jobs, so nobody loses out. If you want to come to CA, then come to CA!

[djg06]

I say do it! Don't go back on your word with the job you've accepted. Give it a year and if it doesn't work out then move back. 170k is a great salary, my wife and I together make under that and I feel like it's more than enough (obviously we are renting not in a house). Good luck with whatever choice you make!