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haha. ok I'm going to try to take a crack at some of these....
Can you cry under water? yes, I've done it
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny
for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? taxes... the downfall of mankind.
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were
buried in for eternity? everyone knows you wear a halo and white and yellow choir robes in heavin...haven't you seen All Dogs Go to Heaven? lol
Why does a round pizza come in a square box? because square pizza in round boxes makes even less sense!! people have tried it before, it's calleD Little Ceasars... it didnt work!
What disease did cured ham actually have? I don't want to know
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would
be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? they were just trying to beat the russians to the punch.. neccesity comes AFTER politics
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake
up like every two hours? wishful thinking? I say I slept like a log, like a LOG I tell ya!!
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? /giggle
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground? perspective perspective! the only REAL reason people go up there is to throw pennies down at people below to see if it REALLY hurts from farther up
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see
you naked anyway. delaying the inevitable. I hate getting undressed in front of people.. but you've got a point!
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? 2 cheeks are better than one?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? that's the waffle setting!!! omg!!! lol
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? YES! and I'd stand up in court and plead my case!
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're
both dogs! ummm, this is in reference to male dominance theories in other counties... obviously pluto is the B*TCH of the relationship. lol
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why
didn't he just buy dinner? it's a pride thing. wouldn't you want to blow up someone that kept sticking their tongue out at you and running away? ...the annoying lil s***
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from? BABIES! right?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same
tune? yes
Why did you just try singing the two songs above? HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but
call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? because asteroids in your butt would make for an even WORSE opening conversation with your doctor... and who wants to read in the news about a possible hemorrhoid shower coming their way? that's ewwwy
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad
at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window? my dog licks me in the face when I blow on him
LOL.. I put my answers in bold next to each question.
Quote:
Originally Posted by L_A_Woman
I saw this somewhere and got a kick out of it, thought it might be a good topic this morning:
Can you cry under water? I never tried, the cholrine buns my eyes.
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? It doesn't matter, killing is killing and the killer will be judged, and the judge will definitely give you an INFINITE sentence, without parole!.
Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to? Here's a quarter for that thought
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? If that's the case, then I'll make sure they put me in a pair of denim jeans, a t-shirt and my boots.
Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Puts a whole new twist on fitting a circle in a square... or is it the other way around?
What disease did cured ham actually have? PIGementitus?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Luggage have wheels?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours? Maybe it should be "Slept like a BIG baby?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Could you please repeat that question?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Because you didn't pay movie adminssion fees?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? I wouldn't do that, I'd sneak in my own binculars!
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see
you naked anyway. I'm gonna have to consult with my doctor on this one, and probably pay extra to get the answer!
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural? I think I'll stay quiet on this one, or I might get thrown out of these boards! Besides, a woman can answer that better! I can tell you why they call them briefs though.. on second thought maybe not!
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? So toast could stay hot in case you stay on the phone for an hour?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Jimmy cares, because he wanted to get loyalties!
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ? I think you have to pay extra for that!
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Come on, let's face it, if 3 guys who were single and stranded on a desert island, with 2 beautiful women (Ginger and Mary Ann) why would they leave?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! I think they paid Goofy a little extra to walk upright.
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? He got all that ACME stuff from an E-bay distributor real cheap, that's why it never worked. Besides, it's the male instinct to waste money to accomplish something simple!
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? But you can't cook with Baby Oil!
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? How would I know?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? I can't remember that far back!
Why did you just try singing the two songs above? I didn't sing, I hummed, besides, I can't sing..
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? I'm sure glad the old arcade video game was about Astroids!
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Same reason why I would get mad if you blew in my face and spit saliva on it!!
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place? I gave you my cell phone number too!
Why is it that the USA spent millions of dollars trying to invent a pen that could write in zero gravity, like in outer space....and the Russians had the answer all along. Use a pencil!
Doctors can give people a test called a "Cat Scan", what do veterinarians call the equivelant test for cats, People Scan?
If the patient doesn't like cats, can he be given a dog scan?
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I don't want to know
Arctic Kitten,,,, you did go with that last post!
