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Ok, there is a Thread on the Forum asking about "unhappy marriage", NOW, let's about what makes a marriage (or yours) a "happy marriage"? For you couples, young and older, that have a "happy marriage" going, please give all the advice you can on how to have that "beautiful marriage" that can last
"til death due us part". There are many, many people that don't like/believe in marriage due to their own bad experience with marriage or parents/relatives/friends who have had a bad marriage that resulted in divorce.
My marriage: First of all, we are an older couple (57/58) and have been married now for almost 6 years. I met my wife in 2000 and we did live together for a year before we got married. But, during that year, she had an engagement ring on (I bought her wedding set 3 weeks after I asked her to marry me).
What makes our marriage a HAPPY one? I have a great sense of humor and she loves it. I love to cook. A lot of times, since I get home from work before she does, I will have supper ready or almost ready when she gets home. I know how to run the dishwasher, vaccum and do laundry (and do these things often). If she is awake when I go to work in the morning, we kiss each other "goodbye". We never have "girls" or "boys" nights out......the nightclub/bar thing has been over for us for quite some time. We love giving each other hugs. I quite "chewing" (Skoal) for myself and her. 99% of the things we do, we do together......just the way we like our marriage to be.
Our Advice: If you are not the "marriage type", don't marry until you are. If you like the single life (neither of us did), don't even think about getting married or possibly even getting into a serious relationship that could lead to marriage.
Well, here is one man that did (all the time)......related sex with love. Sure got me into trouble real fast , until I met my wife.
Oh, and something else we do a lot of in our marriage........COMMUNICATE . She knows when I'm tired or sick; don't talk much . When I'm feeling good,like on Friday night and the weekend is here.... LET'S PARTYYYYYYYYYY!!! Not really, but it's fun to say that at my age of 57.
I believe we have as close to a "perfect" marriage as two people can get, I know it's VERY HAPPY. I agree with a lot of what LoveBoating said, we enjoy each other a lot and we spend time together. We trust each other and appreciate each other, we were also older when we got married, I was 39, my husband 47, my first, his second (first wife died in car accident). We have never had a fight, we talk things out before it ever gets to that. I feel very blessed to have a Christian husband who looks to God for guidence in being a good husband and I look to God for help in being a good wife. My husband tells me all the time he appreciates me, he loves me, he thanks me for marrying him. It is my opinion that when when two people draw closer to God they draw closer to each other, at least has worked 12 years for us
I think in any relationship, you have to be compatible on some level, and you have to be able to talk about things on an adult level. I have seen some couples who are actually afraid to tell their partner about their needs and it seems silly to me. I think if both people can just put things on the table and talk about it, there would be more happy marriages.
Location: Boonies of Georgia ~~~~ nuttier than a squirrel turd !
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We got married young (18-22). Got married, bought a house and had a baby within the first few years. We did hit some very rough spots but managed to work thru them. We grew from our mistakes. Niether one of us was perfect. We have been thru alot together.
Sense of humor ( a must ), communication, commitment......
A good marriage takes work. And you must be willing to work hard at times. As we grew, we realized we wouldn't want to be apart.
We don't have girls/boys night out either. If we both can't go, we don't go. And we usually include my son. We hardly ever left him with a babysitter, and if we did, it was a grandma.
My husband never babysat when I was at work, he parented. Alot dependes on your perspective of the idea of marriage and eachother.
I feel once you grow up the idea of sex with the same person till death is comforting and exciting. (AREYOUSERIOUS?) Are you serious? I never believed in the cavemen theory of men looking at sex differently than women.
I have had hot, streamy, meaningless sex a time or two, but doesn't compare to making love ! There is a difference. (Sorry, at least you have your fire suit on LOL)
We recieved a sex swing as a gag christmas gift a few years ago. Needless to say, it didn't stay in the box. The joke was on them. Everyone asks "whats the eye hook over your bed for"? We usually come up with something or aviod the question.
Well we are doing something right. 20 years this past October. Is it perfect? Doubt it, but it works. If it was perfect, wouldn't it be boring?
I can't tell you what makes a perfect marriage, because I don't know of one that exists.
I can tell you that if society was ever able to make the disconnect with sex and marriage, most marriages would last forever. No matter what anyone says, thats the biggest battle from a man's perspective. Everything else is a by-product of the sexual frustration that comes from a monogamous relationship. The male in any species is not naturally monogamous, period. The more we love the woman, the more we will adapt to their expectation of monogamy. Most men I know however do not naturally equate having sex with love and vice versa. Women seem to for the most part, so we accomodate them in order to preserve the relationship.
(putting on my fire suit now)
I think you're talking out of your ass (about quite a few things on here). First of all one cannot speak on behalf of "most" men or women. Did you take a poll about that? Because plenty of people I know that are women do not equate sex with love...me being one of them. I would like to think that sex and love do go hand in hand (and in pure cases they do), however, reality is: just because you love someone doesn't mean you will have sex with them and just because you are having sex with someone doesn't mean you love them (this I know from personal experience). You can go around screwing the world and never love a single person. Yet you can find that one person you love and have experiences with them that you will never find even if you combine 10 lovers!!!! You can have the wildest sex of your life and not love the person. You can love someone who you may find sex awkward with the first time (you can always work around it). The one connection I do believe that love and sex have is that when you truly love someone, you will become comfortable and open enough with them in your sexuality (only love can do that because it's opening up is part of honesty). Love definitely enhances it but no, there is not always a sex/love connection. I guess unfortunately most of society has a lack of sex/love connection. Marriage isn't about sex at all. Marriage is about a bond/union, it just so happens that one of the closest ways for two people to bond physically and spiritually is through intercourse. Marriage is a lot of work and anyone who doesn't think so or see that, is an idiot. There is never a dull moment in a marriage because it is such a challenge (and if you are a mature person then that challenge is worth every minute and every ounce you put into it). Like someone else said on here, if it were perfect, it would be boring. Marriage is also about maturity, committment, bettering yourself, compromise, enhancing someone's life, having your life enhanced, loyality, faithfulness, honesty, having faith, trusting and being trustworthy, struggle, work, I stress again committment and maturity and yes, if you're lucky enough and willing: reproduction. Too many people get married because "they're in love", it's a lot more than that and it's a lot more than sex. It's about the rest of your life and a committment you made to someone in front of God (unless you're married by the Justice but either way, you're bound by Law and by Faith). Maybe people should stop being so sex-crazed and look at the big picture. It's not hard spending your life with one person, if you're mature, determined AND creative enough. I've been with my husband for a total of 8 years, I am never bored with him, the sex is never dull, even if we're not swinging from the chandelier, it's exciting and fulfilling...why? Because it's just me and him, because we know each other so well, because we are so totally comfortable with each other that nothing stands in our way and yes, because our love allows us to be so free with each other....sorry, but you don't find that when you're trying to "conquer" some stranger. And yes, I believe you are speaking from the "conquer" mentality of a high school boy. Marriage is more than sex, much more.
And about that last comment about a threesome? That's downright rude and immature. Yeah, it's every man's fantasy, but that's why it's called a "fantasy"....if you need to do that for real, then you need to do it before you get married. Why you would even make a comment like that is beyond me, but it just goes to show where your mind is (high school maybe?). At some point, most men realize that it just "ain't happenin'" and they can deal.....grow up.
Last edited by pixieshmoo; 11-10-2006 at 08:25 AM..
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, until I met my wife. 
. When I'm feeling good,like on Friday night and the weekend is here.... LET'S PARTYYYYYYYYYY!!!
