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SpeedyAZ, if my parents were the only thing glueing my family together and I felt that we'd all grow apart over money, I would not blame money for that and I wouldn't sacrifice my inheritance to pacify those who wouldn't be "close" to me over money. In my case, it isn't an issue. Not with my close family. But if it were, I'd accept that those family members didn't deserve my sacrifice to outwardly show me false love, but were shallow characters who should go their own ways if that is what they're really like
We used to be close but as we got older, we all went our seperate ways. My sister and brother don't get along AT ALL, they are barely speaking and my parents have been trying to mend that relationship for a while. I really don't know what started it but I wish I did.
But I truly believe with all my heart that time heals all wounds. I have faith that in a few years it'll all be back to the way it should be. And if it isn't so be it.
Very good responses everyone! positive reputation for you! You guys deserve it!
Its sad how greed can break families. To those with relatives that didnt write their will yet, have them do so and make sure the will is fair, even and just. You dont want most or all the money going to one person then the others will fight it in court and youll lose money making the lawyers rich and youll also see your family break apart.
If you think some young gold digging man or woman married your old widow(er) and that widow(er) wont listen to reason, its a case for the lawyers to handle.
To those who are being denied an inherience, ask your parents or relatives why. Although an inherience is a gift, its justified if you are there for your parents. You spent time with them, you took care of them, they should give you something.
Although an inherience is a gift, its justified if you are there for your parents. You spent time with them, you took care of them, they should give you something.
I disagree with your statement. Although you say that it's a gift, in reality you seem to have a sense of entitlement that bothers me. Any inheritance you get should be looked at as an unexpected gift. It's not something you should automatically get just because you spend time with your parents.
With maturity, most of us realize that we are separate from our parents, and that includes areas like money. I wouldn't dream of even asking my father for a loan, even though I know he'd be more than willing to help me. He has offered to help with my kids' college education, and I'm grateful. However, I'm not relying on any kind of inheritance to improve my life. That's why I contribute 9% to my 401(k); I'm not depending on my father OR on my kids to support me when I retire. That's my job, and they shouldn't have to pay if I've been irresponsible. I didn't begin to think this way until I was about 26 years old, though.
Last edited by SandyCo; 12-21-2006 at 11:35 PM..
Reason: typo!
I feel completely out of the loop. I have no clue whether or not I have an inheritance. I'm certainly not expecting one since my family is of modest means. I'm actually surprised so many people know exactly what it is that they're getting. It seems a bit morbid to me for family to be discussing these sorts of things or for people to be holding out for a relative's death so that they can cash in. Of course, my parents are relatively young and in good health so it's possible that these conversations may become more frequent the older we get. I suppose death is unavoidable and as ugly as it is, it's best to be prepared.
Although an inherience [sic] is a gift, its justified if you are there for your parents. You spent time with them, you took care of them, they should give you something.
NAH, your parents have changed your diapers, stayed up all night every time you howled with teething, colic and fevers, provided you with room, board, clothing, tuition, in fact with everything you are and have (except your silly candles) for 25 years, a full quarter-century! Sheesh!
They owe you nothing. You owe them more then you will ever repay. Only a thoroughly spoilt, ungrateful brat would feel further entitled.
Sit down like a man and have a serious talk with your parents. Your dad isn't irritated with superficial things like wasting your money on hundreds of candles. He's worried that you've become a vegetable, locked in your room, leading only a virtual existence, exhibiting no ambition, gaining no marketable skills, and are throwing your life away. Ask yourself: is he right? Resolve to prove he's not. Get a job and move out. That would be the brightest glimmer of hope you've given your parents in years.
The best service parents could do for such a child would be to push the bum out and leave their entire estate to a worthy charity.
Last edited by RodFarlee; 12-22-2006 at 12:57 AM..
I said an inherience is a gift, not an obligation. I know the truth about charities, the manager gets most of the money. My parents dont believe in charities, they believe everyone needs to work for themselves and make their own money and not depend on welfare or charity. Basically if im a bum and dont work, my parents will just exclude me from the inherience and give it to my brother and sister. But I wont be a bum, I am self employeed and I want to move out of their house and show my parents I can support myself, make my own money and live my own life.
The money my parents have, they can spend as much of it as they want, I dont care if theres not a dime left for us to inheriet. If there is anything left, it shall be split equally between the three of us, thats as fair as it gets. In fact I am going to let my parents know that they can and should spend their retirement nest egg on themselves to have fun and it doesnt matter if they have any money left or none at all. If they save any money, that inherience will be considered a gift for the three of us. Any questions?
I know the truth about charities, the manager gets most of the money...
One local charity I support has zero management overhead (that is all time donated by local civic leaders) with 100% of donations providing services.
Most university and research foundations run on only 1 to 2% management overhead, with 98+% going to educational and research programs. This is also true of certain religous charities.
The local (not national, but local) United Way agencies I've worked with run on 4 to 6% staff overhead, with 94 to 96% of donations going to program services. This is also true of certain foundations targeting diseases.
Alas, this is not true of all, certainly not of those which do telemarketing. However, your blanket dismissal of all organized acts of charity is sadly misguided indeed.
I feel completely out of the loop. I have no clue whether or not I have an inheritance. I'm certainly not expecting one since my family is of modest means. I'm actually surprised so many people know exactly what it is that they're getting. It seems a bit morbid to me for family to be discussing these sorts of things or for people to be holding out for a relative's death so that they can cash in. Of course, my parents are relatively young and in good health so it's possible that these conversations may become more frequent the older we get. I suppose death is unavoidable and as ugly as it is, it's best to be prepared.
I agree it's morbid, but also a sad reality for some people... now I don't know exactly how much I'll get, but I do know an approximate figure. That's just based on what I know they have, and who gets what portion. We're not close with our extended family, so the majority will just be divided among the immediate family... and we don't have to worry about my step-mother, since she's loaded from her own inheritance (plus they signed a pre-nup). I could ask my sister for all the gritty details, but I'd really rather not know! It's more important for me to have living parents, and hopefully this won't be an issue for many years to come.
I said an inherience is a gift, not an obligation. I know the truth about charities, the manager gets most of the money. My parents dont believe in charities, they believe everyone needs to work for themselves and make their own money and not depend on welfare or charity.
Ummmm... not all charities are a form of "welfare" or hand-outs! As RodFarlee pointed out, there are many different types of organizations - medical, educational, religious, etc. My father heads a non-profit organization, which has nothing to do with giving people anything - other than a fulfilling/fun life and emotional support (I don't want to go into details, since it's too well-known ). I don't know the financial details of his company, but I do know they're not greedy... and many other charities aren't either. Anyway, just had to respond to that comment!
P.S. I fully intend to leave a certain amount in my will for charities... ones like the ASPCA, JNF, a children's charity, and others that I support & trust.
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As RodFarlee pointed out, there are many different types of organizations - medical, educational, religious, etc. My father heads a non-profit organization, which has nothing to do with giving people anything - other than a fulfilling/fun life and emotional support (I don't want to go into details, since it's too well-known 
). I don't know the financial details of his company, but I do know they're not greedy... and many other charities aren't either. Anyway, just had to respond to that comment!
