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I have a 21-year-old brother. You may have read about him in past posts of mine on here, which are pretty detailed and thorough accounts of his outbursts. You can read them here:
He had a very similar outburst to the one described in the middle link in February. It was over my sister backing out of paying him to repair her car at the last moment. Instead of a pistol, he had a rifle, and I tried to get it out of his arms but it ended up pointed at me. He also texted my sister on how to kill herself and threw the house phone against the ground so we could not call 911. I defused the situation by faking a seizure. That worked!
Anyway, we had a house fire, and are now staying at my grandmother's. The house is being rebuilt. For a while, we were going between different hotels. Him and I shared a room, but he got on my nerves, so my mom moved us to a different hotel where he could have his own room. Unfortunately, he didn't show up. Suddenly, he called my sister's phone in the night and made threats to her and send threatening text messages, and accused my mother of killing my father and committing insurance fraud. Apparently, he thought he was entitled to a third of the living expenses.
The real shock came on Thursday when he was denied the entire amount of the job (meaning the entire amount of the check from the customer!) they performed that day. Instead, my mom was going to pay him his normal pay subtracting some fraudulent checks he wrote from the store's checking account. They argued until long after the store's closing, and my mom went to pick up him and her cigarettes at the gas station. When she came back, he had erected a rope and noose from the ceiling, and threatened suicide. Luckily, I had the intuition to call right at that moment from the hotel. My mom whispered "call 911", so I did. The cops came to the store and took him in for a mental health evaluation. He is currently lodged in the psychiatric ward at the hospital.
Unfortunately, he is due to get out tomorrow or Wednesday. Both my mom and I are working hard to get him committed, but it will depend on the psychologist's decision. If he gets out, he will surely return to drugs and perhaps damage the store, our house, and my grandma's house in revenge, not to mention what he would do to us. What would you do in this situation? Again, I faxed the head nurse of his ward the forum postings as well as a letter, and my mom has been on the phone with them all day, but he seems to them under their spell (my brother is unusually intelligent for somebody who was kicked out of school in 9th grade, and has great manipulation skills). What would you do in this situation?
If he gets out, he will surely return to drugs and perhaps damage the store, our house, and my grandma's house in revenge, not to mention what he would do to us. What would you do in this situation?
Go to court and get protection from abuse orders for each family member. If he even shows up at the house, business, hotel, etc., call the police and have him arrested.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tvdxer
What would you do in this situation?
The same thing we've been telling you for years: call the police EVERY time he does anything. Keep sending him to jail until they keep him.
Your mom seems to be much of the problem. Why if he burned down the house was she putting him up in a hotel? Your mom needs to realize this guy is a full-grown adult and kick him out. He can find a rescue mission or live on the streets and when he acts up, the police or others will take care of him.
The OP didn't say that her brother was the cause of the fire.
But I agree the mother is the problem. She's not taking a stand against him. He shouldn't be living with them or working for them. She's even buy him cigarettes.
Your mom seems to be much of the problem. Why if he burned down the house was she putting him up in a hotel? Your mom needs to realize this guy is a full-grown adult and kick him out. He can find a rescue mission or live on the streets and when he acts up, the police or others will take care of him.
He didn't burn the house. The fire was electrical.
I don't know if you read the post, but my mom has been on the phone all day trying to get him committed.
i'm sorry, i did read the post, and i've perused the previous posts.
this is not a problem thats solved by "getting him committed" and if she was "committed" to actually solving this problem she would have went for real help a long time ago.
right now she's just looking for a safe place to house him.
your lives have been threatened.
if she was looking for a solution to this problem faking a seizure when he has a gun to her wasn't the solution.
if it were me, i would have shot him. if my brother/son/relative ever held a gun to me, they would be in a world of hurt more than i would in the short time it took me to draw my weapon.
don't kill him. but defend yourself. it would just be lesson to him not to hold a gun to his mother. hell if i held a gun to my mother she'd shoot to kill!
he's not insane...he needs to go to jail and learn that the world doesn't revolve around him, but your mom thinks a psychiatric ward would be easier for him.
let me ask you this: what kind of help have you recieved from this forum so far for 4 threads? what have we done that has helped you change your situation?
restraining order. ASAP while he is still in hospital. You guys are embedded in his life and are enabling his problems. He should've been fired for the fraudulent checks and arrested. Get a restraining order, then be prepared to call the cops every time he violates it.
He's out. In fact, he was out at 8 am. He called at about 3 pm and said, sounding tearful, that he was thinking about everything he's done and is sorry, and will enter six months of treatment beginning on Thursday. I have a restraining order right here though, and have given copies to my sister and mother. Unfortunately, they are not processed yet. My brother's friend told my mom to tell him that she loves him, but needs some space. I think that's a good thing to say.
He held the gun up to my head and I faked the seizure.
Also, my mother did not send him to jail, as she feared him getting raped / being somebody's "*****" and his addiction worsening while there.
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