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You are right...we are all certainly entitled to our opinions....
I like to think that we are raising kids to be responsible adults. As part of the process, we give them increasing privileges commensurate with their increasing age and proven maturity. We can also revoke those additional privileges if necessary. I see cell phones in that same light.....I just don't get the point of saying "we got along without (fill in the blank) back when I was young so kids today shouldn't have them either"...I guess we could say the same for lots of things. My grandparents grew up without running water and cars; my parents grew up without televisions and I grew up without cable TV, microwaves or computers...life goes on. I prefer to teach my kids to use things that are a part of life today but use them appropriately.
Last edited by maciesmom; 10-31-2010 at 09:44 PM..
All of this happened when my kids were in middle school and high school and there were no cell phones. We figured out how to get the messages to kids *after* school hours.
We also didn't wear seat belts, the drinking age was 18 and we disappeared for entire days returning home only to eat and sleep and nobody cared. The world has changed. We're talking about cell phones here not machine guns.
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Originally Posted by nana053
Cell phones are disruptive in the classroom. There is NO reason for them to be on during class hours even during passing periods (which are after all only a few minutes long). I could see allowing them at lunch periods, but not during class time.
After school is fine. Why a parent needs to get that message to the child during his classes is beyond me.
A parent sending a text message during class does not have to be disruptive. The phones have to be off during class. After class they check their messages (or sometimes send one to me). What's the big deal?
Why do you need to control what students do during passing time? Who cares if they send a text message as long as they get to their next class on time, with the materials they need?
My kids go to a private school which has pretty lax rules with respect to cell phones, especially when compared with the public schools. The public schools don't want the kids phones visible at all during the school day. Our kids are allowed to use them as long as they are not on during class. Our school has fewer problems with appropriate phone use because kids know that if they have to tell their parents something they will get a chance every hour. Sometimes allowing kids to use something responsibly actually makes them more responsible.
You are right...we are all certainly entitled to our opinions....
I like to think that we are raising kids to be responsible adults. As part of the process, we give them increasing privileges commensurate with their increasing age and proven maturity. We can also revoke those additional privileges if necessary. I see cell phones in that same light.....I just don't get the point of saying "we got along without (fill in the blank) back when I was young so kids today shouldn't have them either"...I guess we could say the same for lots of things. My grandparents grew up without running water and cars; my parents grew up without televisions and I grew up without cable TV, microwaves or computers...life goes on. I prefer to teach my kids to use things that are a part of life today but use them appropriately.
We also didn't wear seat belts, the drinking age was 18 and we disappeared for entire days returning home only to eat and sleep and nobody cared. The world has changed. We're talking about cell phones here not machine guns.
Actually, my kids did wear seatbelts. This was in the 70s and 80s. The drinking age was not 18 in Illinois. It was lowered to 19 in 1973 for beer and wine only and it was raised back to 21 in 1980. My kids did not disappear for days returning home only to eat and sleep with nobody caring either. The world has not changed that much.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear
A parent sending a text message during class does not have to be disruptive. The phones have to be off during class. After class they check their messages (or sometimes send one to me). What's the big deal?
Why do you need to control what students do during passing time? Who cares if they send a text message as long as they get to their next class on time, with the materials they need?
My kids go to a private school which has pretty lax rules with respect to cell phones, especially when compared with the public schools. The public schools don't want the kids phones visible at all during the school day. Our kids are allowed to use them as long as they are not on during class. Our school has fewer problems with appropriate phone use because kids know that if they have to tell their parents something they will get a chance every hour. Sometimes allowing kids to use something responsibly actually makes them more responsible.
If they check it after class. The problem is that many kids feel entitled to check during the class teaching time. While there are kids who are responsible, *most* are not, so the rules deal with that.
Aside from that why is the convenience of the parent more important than the student actually listening in class.
The text messages may not be disruptive, but playing games on the internet is and if you think that is not what they want to do during class time, you haven't been in a school for a while.
Id find some other way to ground him like taking away computer/tv/video games for a week, but I would let him go to the party. That's just me. If he stole money or hurt someone or smoked then I would say no to the party/
It sounds like you have an excellent relationship with your kids.
Yeah....one of them's still not that keen on me right now But yes, we are open with each other and talk easily. My two older children and I did spend a lot of time with therapists back during the mom issues (my youngest was a baby) and I think we've all kept the ideas about communication since then. We got used to talking.
Quote:
To be a great parent, I think you need to be the person they can talk to about anything, the person who tells them the truth, no matter how embarrassing or uncomfortable it makes you, the person they can tell a new joke to, the person they can count on to ALWAYS love them, even when they screw up, and the person they know always has their absolute best interests at heart...for THEM,not for us.
That's a good list of things to strive for. And combines both the important stuff and the casual stuff...
...on the joke one, my son did sit there following the 'appropriate conversations' phone call and try to explain to me the intricate subtleties behind how a class discussion about elections could spin-off a secondary (hilarious) conversation about erections....yeah, I get it bud...it's very clever
Sometimes allowing kids to use something responsibly actually makes them more responsible.
I think that's a good point. So long as the school is then strict about those who aren't being responsible.
I still don't personally think the kids need their phones during the day, but if school policy allowed it during passing or at lunch, well, I'd have no problem with them using them at those times (I'd still have a problem with 'daaaaad get my mask!').
I think that the thing with cellphones is that it is something that can get out of hand if you allow it in part (and yes, there's kids around who are going to use them whatever level of policy the school has). But if, whatever the policy is, it's enforced. Then fine.
Maciesmom/momma_bear - what do your schools do when the kids use the phones outside the allowed times?
I think that's a good point. So long as the school is then strict about those who aren't being responsible.
I still don't personally think the kids need their phones during the day, but if school policy allowed it during passing or at lunch, well, I'd have no problem with them using them at those times (I'd still have a problem with 'daaaaad get my mask!').
I think that the thing with cellphones is that it is something that can get out of hand if you allow it in part (and yes, there's kids around who are going to use them whatever level of policy the school has). But if, whatever the policy is, it's enforced. Then fine.
Maciesmom/momma_bear - what do your schools do when the kids use the phones outside the allowed times?
I haven't had any personal experience with this being an issue but from what I understand from my kids, it is really up to the teacher. Like anything else, the kids know pretty much which teachers don't tolerate monkey business and which are pretty lax. Just like talking and passing notes "back in the day"...which was just as disruptive and against the rules as texting.
I haven't had any personal experience with this being an issue but from what I understand from my kids, it is really up to the teacher. Like anything else, the kids know pretty much which teachers don't tolerate monkey business and which are pretty lax. Just like talking and passing notes "back in the day"...which was just as disruptive and against the rules as texting.
Haha. I can't imagine that passing notes has been completely phased out but I'm sure a lot of that has turned into texting now...which is a little funny because the note passing is quicker...Although more open to interception (and the inevitable 'come up here and share it with everyone if it's so important').
If my son had been caught he would have been in detention and they would have been making a pile of things I could pick up in the office. Same at the high school, phones go to the office, only parents can pick them up. It is a little bit of a drag, perhaps on first offense the kid could pick it up at the end of the day..
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But yes, we are open with each other and talk easily. My two older children and I did spend a lot of time with therapists back during the mom issues (my youngest was a baby) and I think we've all kept the ideas about communication since then. We got used to talking.
