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My 6th grade dd doesn't attend dances (isn't interested & has never been offered at any of the 3 schools attended.) Nor does she text or tweet! She plays board games, reads, enjoys dolls, her pets, jump rope, knits, jigsaw puzzles, bike riding, arts & crafts, playing with friends (hide 'n seek, tag, etc.) writes letters to friends & family, piano lessons, ballet classes, bike riding, a little bit of T.V. (cooking shows mostly) & many, many family activities. There really are more choices. Its not just a choice between 6th grade dances or text/tweeting. In any event, its your choice. If you want to send your child to a dance, go for it. I was merely offering my opinion to the OP. Have a good day.
I agree with you. They're just kids and should be doing fun age-appropriate activities, it's too young to start pretending to be adults.
I let mine go to an 8th grade dance only because it was the end of the middle school - here high school starts in 9th grade - and I was shocked. Little girls with dresses more suitabled to a 12th grade prom and stuffed to make them look like D-cups, limosines, corsages and many of the kids were paired off in couples. It was obvious that a kid in clothes meant for a 12 year old and without a date didn't fit in.
I just don't see the point - they have so many years to be an adult and childhood is such a short time, why not encourage them to enjoy their childhood.
My 6th grade dd doesn't attend dances (isn't interested & has never been offered at any of the 3 schools attended.) Nor does she text or tweet! She plays board games, reads, enjoys dolls, her pets, jump rope, knits, jigsaw puzzles, bike riding, arts & crafts, playing with friends (hide 'n seek, tag, etc.) writes letters to friends & family, piano lessons, ballet classes, bike riding, a little bit of T.V. (cooking shows mostly) & many, many family activities. There really are more choices. Its not just a choice between 6th grade dances or text/tweeting. In any event, its your choice. If you want to send your child to a dance, go for it. I was merely offering my opinion to the OP. Have a good day.
Why couldn't she do all the things you mention AND attend an occasional dance also?
6th grade is still elem. school here. It's a pretty awkward age. Some kids are ready, some aren't. No reason to rush him if he doesn't want to be there. When the time comes again, if he wants to go, I'd second going with a group of friends. My DD went to most of her HS dances as part of a large group. The handful of times that DS has gone to dances - same thing....
I agree with you. They're just kids and should be doing fun age-appropriate activities, it's too young to start pretending to be adults.
I let mine go to an 8th grade dance only because it was the end of the middle school - here high school starts in 9th grade - and I was shocked. Little girls with dresses more suitabled to a 12th grade prom and stuffed to make them look like D-cups, limosines, corsages and many of the kids were paired off in couples. It was obvious that a kid in clothes meant for a 12 year old and without a date didn't fit in.
I just don't see the point - they have so many years to be an adult and childhood is such a short time, why not encourage them to enjoy their childhood.
I suppose there are different frames of reference. Having taught middle school --although they are 'kids' they are transitioning into adolescence and need some opportunities to begin to cope with the challenges.
Our school doesn't have 'dances', they have 'activity' nights where there is a chance to dance to a DJ in the fully lighted cafeteria....along with food for purchase, board games in the library, sports games in the gym, a photo booth and various other things.
This allows socialization between boys and girls on grounds that are more comfortable than a formal dance. It doesn't set them up for tense situations in general, yet it does give them a place to test out their interactions with their peers/classmates.
Those types are great for middle schoolers. 'Dances', where the lights are lowered and there isn't much else offered are a set up for embarrassment, ridicule and anxiety and to me shouldn't be offered in middle school. But that's just me. :-)
That doesn't help your son though. Perhaps, if it was a more formal type dance, then he found it was mostly 8th graders there and they had all coupled up, even going as dates. He would have felt like an outcast and maybe made fun of or ignored.
Perhaps he was attracted to someone who publicly rebuked him. Or someone approached him and scared him out of his comfort zone.
It could even be that someone offered him drugs or drinks that he didn't expect to happen in those kinds of circumstances and he didn't feel safe enough to tell them no or report them.
Whatever it was happened quickly and heavily enough to scare him into retreating and wanting to run home to mom.
That suggests he probably wasn't ready for that kind of social setting and maybe doesn't quite understand what's going on within his own mind and body. I'd have a quiet talk about it all with him and get to the actual root of the problem so that the next time he chooses to participate he is ready for all possibilities.
You can present him some comebacks, talk him through some possible role playing, offer him solutions or suggestions and various things like that over the next several weeks as an ongoing conversation.
I'm an elementary school teacher, music specifically. Last year we did a unit on square dancing. This was a way for people to have fun and socialize, especially when neighbors lived several miles apart. Anyway, we held a school dance, well lit, fun with parents, I thought this was a fantastic way to end our unit and gave the students a little introduction for future school dances (not that they would be square dancing LOL).
Thanks for all of the responses!
He told me last week that they were selling tickets to the winter dance, and that he missed the last one, and would like to go to this one.
I did tell him before he went that this dance was going to be alot diffrent than the elementry dances that he attended last yr.
I remember going to my dance in the sixth grade, but I also met my friends at the door. I also encouraged him before the dance, to make sure he had friends that were going. He said he did, but yeah...thats tough.
I turned right around and went to get him, but maybe the next time, he will know what to expect.
If it's a middle school social event it seems appropriate for middle school kids to be there.
I don't always agree with everything the school does. (Just because a school puts on an event, doesn't make it automatically appropriate.)
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