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Seriously? As old as your kids are you have arguments? Over left-overs? You scream at each other over who gets a few bites of shrimp or whatever?
By that age my kids had figured out that the best approach was to sit down next to me and look up at me with those big eyes, compliment me on how nice I looked and then casually mention they were still kind of hungry.
I hate to be blunt, but your family has disfunction that cannot be solved online. From your posts, everyone in the household contributes to the disfunction. Until y'all want a functional family and are willing to work for it, y'all are doomed to the merry-go-round that is your homelife.
BTW, it is not petty to want your own leftovers, it is petty to leave any left overs on the table just so your kids can't have them.
This IS a boundary issue. If you just think that all teenagers would behave that way - you are mistaken. My 17 year old wouldn't even think of eating my leftovers. Believe it or not though - many times I'll offer them up to him. Because I know he'd like it and I know I don't need it.
Teenagers, especially boys, can be bottomless pits. I don't see anything unusual about being hungry when they get home after having just eaten out. My son does it all the time - it's a full dinner and about any hour later will have a pbj in his hand!
Marylee - go back and read your original post and try to do it from the eyes of an outsider. I picture you standing there, arms folded, stomping your foot because your kids get more than you. What sounds petty is that you seem mad that the "kids get more than you do", you "want your share", you "didn't get your share", etc. Really?
I have a 12 yr old dd who will order a huge meal and eat the whole thing too. I usually bring 1/2 of my meal home. My dd knows it's mine and she will ask if she can have it. I either tell her yes or no. If I tell her no I will give her a choice of something else to eat. END OF STORY. I am not sure how this could become a problem to argue and yell about?
Or they call CPS on you, or butter the floor, or overspend at the school lunch counter.
(while the mother is busy deciding what to do with 40 boxes of Christmas decorations). I can't believe at times that OP is around 50 years old or so. (she adopted the kids in her late 30s). She sounds like a petulant immature person. One can only surmise how she could parent up to this point. It's like looking inside a brain of someone who sees the world as a collage of overwhelming things, but can't tie them together and make sense or draw conclusions.
Are you really making this big of a deal out of LEFTOVERS?! It's as easy as this- the kid asks, you say "yes, you may eat my leftovers," or "no, you may not eat my leftovers. If you do, there will be consequences. However, you're free to eat ..XYZ".
If you are depriving yourself of a regular dinner and having just an appetizer solely because if you take a doggie bag home your kids will try to take it, then I'm sorry but that's just bizarre in the extreme.
Two things trouble me about this post. Firstly my children respect me (at least now) and would not take anything of mine without asking, and I would not take anything of theirs. More importantly, it is very rare to find parents that don't choose to put their children first, often to a fault. If my children even hinted that they wanted my food, I'm sure I would give it to them. Isn't that what most parents do?
Two things trouble me about this post. Firstly my children respect me (at least now) and would not take anything of mine without asking, and I would not take anything of theirs. More importantly, it is very rare to find parents that don't choose to put their children first, often to a fault. If my children even hinted that they wanted my food, I'm sure I would give it to them. Isn't that what most parents do?
Nope. If I wanted some of my mom's food, she'd say "well next time we go to that restaurant, you can order it for yourself. THESE leftovers are for me."
Or, she might share her leftovers with me, when she's ready to eat them herself. Often she orders too much for herself, on purpose so she can have leftovers for lunch the next day. If *I* were to eat them, then she'd lose out on the lunch she -planned- on having the next day, and then has to come up with something else.
My mother taught me better than to assume it's okay to deprive someone else of their meal just so I can have something I want.
Nope. If I wanted some of my mom's food, she'd say "well next time we go to that restaurant, you can order it for yourself. THESE leftovers are for me."
Or, she might share her leftovers with me, when she's ready to eat them herself. Often she orders too much for herself, on purpose so she can have leftovers for lunch the next day. If *I* were to eat them, then she'd lose out on the lunch she -planned- on having the next day, and then has to come up with something else.
My mother taught me better than to assume it's okay to deprive someone else of their meal just so I can have something I want.
I think you misunderstood my post.
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