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While I believe that the ideal situation would be to be married, what's done is done. Telling the OP that she made a mistake bringing a child into this situation is a moot issue, since you can't "unring" the bell. Can she turn the clock back? Should she have had an abortion? Should she be ostracized from society? Why should her child be any "less" than any other?
When my unmarried daughter became pregnant, I was living 1,500 miles away. I could not in good conscience stay away and let her suffer as that would have also caused my granddaughter to suffer. All I could see was that, regardless of how this child came into being, she was a straight-up miracle from God...a cause for celebration, IMO. How can anyone turn their back on an innocent child for mistakes made by its parents? My daughter knows she has a tough road ahead as a single parent, but she also knows she is not alone. I believe that this is what the OP wants more than anything...to know that she is not alone and can turn to someone for support (not necessarily financial support) when she needs it.
In my daughter's instance, my granddaughter's paternal grandmother wants absolutely nothing to do with her first and only grandchild. No one has asked her for a penny, since my granddaughter wants for nothing. She has chosen to turn her back on this beautiful child and all I feel is pity for her. Her loss!
To the OP, you baby's grandmothers are going to miss out on the best thing that could ever happen to them. Regardless of your circumstances, accept the love and support of those who are willing to give it. I wish you nothing but the best.
While I believe that the ideal situation would be to be married, what's done is done. Telling the OP that she made a mistake bringing a child into this situation is a moot issue, since you can't "unring" the bell. Can she turn the clock back? Should she have had an abortion? Should she be ostracized from society? Why should her child be any "less" than any other?
When my unmarried daughter became pregnant, I was living 1,500 miles away. I could not in good conscience stay away and let her suffer as that would have also caused my granddaughter to suffer. All I could see was that, regardless of how this child came into being, she was a straight-up miracle from God...a cause for celebration, IMO. How can anyone turn their back on an innocent child for mistakes made by its parents? My daughter knows she has a tough road ahead as a single parent, but she also knows she is not alone. I believe that this is what the OP wants more than anything...to know that she is not alone and can turn to someone for support (not necessarily financial support) when she needs it.
In my daughter's instance, my granddaughter's paternal grandmother wants absolutely nothing to do with her first and only grandchild. No one has asked her for a penny, since my granddaughter wants for nothing. She has chosen to turn her back on this beautiful child and all I feel is pity for her. Her loss!
To the OP, you baby's grandmothers are going to miss out on the best thing that could ever happen to them. Regardless of your circumstances, accept the love and support of those who are willing to give it. I wish you nothing but the best.
We all get that no one owes anyone anything. I think since MOST people are giving and charitable it's jarring to meet someone who is not.
BUT it shouldn't be!! What's out of kilter here is our expectations. Because most people are giving, we judge the ones who are not when we shouldn't. I've seen too much life not to realize that there may be a reason they are not giving and maybe I really don't want to know it.
Graciously accept anything given but expect nothing because, really, nothing is owed to you.
To the OP: Haven't got time to read all the replies but "I've been there done that", you can't change someone as you probably already know, it does hurt, for me it wasn't about money at all, I was disappointed with my husbands mother more than anything else, because I know if that person was me I'd be loving and couldn't wait to see my grandchild but, people are just different, their loss.
Concentrate on the other people in your life, I wish you all the best.
BUT it shouldn't be!! What's out of kilter here is our expectations. Because most people are giving, we judge the ones who are not when we shouldn't. I've seen too much life not to realize that there may be a reason they are not giving and maybe I really don't want to know it.
Graciously accept anything given but expect nothing because, really, nothing is owed to you.
Eh, I'll keep my positive view of the human race. I do believe and will continue to believe that most people are giving. The ones that aren't? I'll continue to question why. Because I cannot imagine being like that.
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