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My nephew just turned 6. I have been a big (no pun intended, where this subject is headed) part of his life since he was 2. My mother and I take him and his teenage brother just about every weekend (in addition to all the holidays and such where we see them).
About 2 months ago he told me I was fat. True, yes I am. My mother and I both repimanded him, telling him it wasn't nice to say that, it hurts peoples feelings, etc. When my sister-in-lawe picked him up later, I mentioned that to her - not to be a tattle-tail or anything, but just to see if he had said that before. She laughed and said he calls her that (she IS a little overweight too) and that he also watches Biggest Loser with them so he sees the "fat people".
It has now become an everytime thing where he points out my weight - whether telling I should be on Biggest Loser, or like last time he said to me "I told my mommy that if she keeps eating a lot, she's gonna fat like you".
Clearly his parents think it's funny. I find it pretty sad that he is not being taught the right thing, but there is only so much I can do.
What would be your approach to this when the parents don't care? After the comment he made last time, I told him I was not taking him to the park (we were headed there at the time) and I will continue to do things like that - no movies, no park, etc.
But am I wrong? I think 6 is old enough to know better, or no? For the record, he says this out of the blue - it's not like we are talking about anything related to food or weight.
Also, I'm not sure he's old enough to understand a lot of things - like a big part of my weight problem comes from medication I take and a health problem I have. I'd like to tell him that, but he may not "get" it.
I should add that taking them every weekend is not a mandatory thing, nor does it affect anyone (my sister-in-law is a stay at home mom, so it's not like they both have to work). We take them because we WANT to.
I'm assuming just the 6 year old is saying this. Don't punish the older one because the younger is being rude and hurtful. Maybe he'll get the hint if he's missing out.
I'd just agree with the little guy.., and tell him you like it that way......how can the little fellow know it's so wrong when his own mother laughs about it....kids that haven't been taught manners (such as this child) can't be expected to know right from wrong.....next time he says it...just say ....SO??
My nephew just turned 6. I have been a big (no pun intended, where this subject is headed) part of his life since he was 2. My mother and I take him and his teenage brother just about every weekend (in addition to all the holidays and such where we see them).
About 2 months ago he told me I was fat. True, yes I am. My mother and I both repimanded him, telling him it wasn't nice to say that, it hurts peoples feelings, etc. When my sister-in-lawe picked him up later, I mentioned that to her - not to be a tattle-tail or anything, but just to see if he had said that before. She laughed and said he calls her that (she IS a little overweight too) and that he also watches Biggest Loser with them so he sees the "fat people".
It has now become an everytime thing where he points out my weight - whether telling I should be on Biggest Loser, or like last time he said to me "I told my mommy that if she keeps eating a lot, she's gonna fat like you".
Clearly his parents think it's funny. I find it pretty sad that he is not being taught the right thing, but there is only so much I can do.
What would be your approach to this when the parents don't care? After the comment he made last time, I told him I was not taking him to the park (we were headed there at the time) and I will continue to do things like that - no movies, no park, etc.
But am I wrong? I think 6 is old enough to know better, or no? For the record, he says this out of the blue - it's not like we are talking about anything related to food or weight.
Also, I'm not sure he's old enough to understand a lot of things - like a big part of my weight problem comes from medication I take and a health problem I have. I'd like to tell him that, but he may not "get" it.
I know from experience when a child says something not nice to an adult, what i do is say something back to them, just to bring them down a few notches, works like a charm....
Niece : Uncle "so and so" is my favorite Uncle......
Me: Thats ok, "so and so" is my favorite niece......it just shut the kid right up.
or my other little nephew, will say something about me, then I look at him and say, well you have a big head,,,he then gets all poutty...because he is sensitive about his big head... LOL
but I noticed by doing things like that, they know who they can play with and who they cant....
you wanna say it, you better be able to take it.....
it is hard to teach sensitivity to a young child when it is not being taught at home ,but you can and your teaching him may be his saving grace in the long one so keep trying and address the issue---good luck
Location: Los Angeles>Little Rock>Houston>Little Rock
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Even if the child's parents think it is funny it is absolutely not funny to say hurtful things about people. In the past I have had issues with my nieces/nephews saying hurtful things. It was always a huge deal to be able to spend the night at Aunt Maggie's house, but if I found their behavior lacking then I would allow the well behaved kids to come and not the others.
This accomplished two things--the child would strive toward better behavior and the parent (my sister) would pay more attention to the child's behavior as it gave her a break from the kids when they came to my house.
At six they're old enough to learn there are some things you simply do not say to people. I would sit him down and say, "I like you. You are a nice little boy and I'd like to spend time with you and take you places. But what you are saying hurts my feelings. It is also very impolite. Please tell me you are sorry." "I'm sorry Auntie." (Sad little face.) "Good. I accept your apology. Just don't say it again to me or anyone else. You are old enough now to know better than to say those things." (Sad face grows.) "Now give me a hug and we'll be friends." (Big hugs.)
And if he does it again I say, "I told you I didn't want to hear you saying those things. I know you've had a nice day at the zoo but I don't want to be around a rude little boy. We're going home."
(Kid cries all the way to the car and tells his Mom I'm a meanie but the lesson is learned.)
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