Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Looking for opinions. Currently debating preschool for my 3 year old. So far I am unimpressed with what we've toured/stopped by. Mainly run down facilities, kids running amuck with a seemingly overwhelmed "teacher" (generally a recent high school or college graduate that has her cell phone out- two of which we caught texting when we arrived in the classroom), curriculum that consists of things my child has already learned. I know it is impossible to find the perfect school but I am getting increasingly disappointed with every additional school tour. I am also concerned with the lack of security in place at many of the schools. Is this common with preschool? Literally anyone off the street can walk into the facility without being buzzed in? Also, we've noticed that here in CA, a teacher is allowed to be left alone with a child. Back where I'm from (MA), a child was always to be accompanied by 2 adults (especially to the bathroom). When I question this I am usually met with a frustrated director who seems annoyed in me questioning. I suppose it just takes some adjustment on my behalf seeing as I am not used to how things are here in CA.
Right now, aside from socialization and instilling the "structure" of school setting, I don't see the benefit to preschool for my child. I do intend on sending my kids to public school though. I've heard kids "need" preschool if they want to go to public school. Why? If a 3 year old can adjust to school setting, certainly a 5 year old can come kindergarten.. Right? What are your thoughts? What helped you come to the decision to enroll your child in preschool? Or not? Do you think I need to keep looking for an ideal preschool until I've found one? Is it that important to send my kids to one?
Edited to add- I really DONT want this to become parenting wars of who is/isn't better because they send their kids to preschool or not. I really hate how snarky and nasty people can be in this forum. Please stick to answering my questions specifically as to what helped you make your decisions in finding a preschool or why you did/didn't send your child to one, or what other things I should take into consideration. Thanks!
It took me forever to find a preschool that I felt suited us. It was either bad like you described, or too ambitious for what I wanted (I wanted my kids to play and learn school behavior, not learn Latin). But I am a big believer in preschool so i got involved in a co-op preschool for a couple years. But later I found "the one". It wasn't perfect but it was just right for us. I loved it, so did my kids.
So I suggest not putting too much pressure on yourself, but keep looking. You might find something great or you might not. But I don't think you need to do preschool just to do preschool.
I think you need to keep looking. Rarely do I ever see one with the door just unlocked for anyone. There are schools out there with wonderful, engaged teachers and secure environments. You could always wait until he's 4, also.
I think pre-school certainly doesn't hurt and a good one is a wonderful enrichment, along to an introduction to group dynamics. Have you thought about trying a small one in a church that meets only 2-3 half days a week? They often have older ladies or mommies as teachers and they are there because they like the job, not because they need a job.
I agree it is surprising that they have open access to the kids. It's not that someone might steal your kid that would make it a no-go for me, but that is considered ordinary and standard safety, and they know parents are concerned about it. So, it would make me wonder if they are ignoring that, which is easily visible, what else are they ignoring or careless about.
__________________
When I post in bold red that is moderator action and, per the TOS, can only be discussed through Direct Message.
We didn't do (aren't doing) preschool because it's effing expensive and we couldn't (still can't) afford it. I honestly wasn't concerned at all for my oldest (and personally I wanted her home still at 3). It would have been nice to do Pre-k, I think it would have been a good transition to kindergarten, and more for a social activity, but I don't find it necessary either. She just started kindergarten on half-days and is doing awesome; adjusted just fine. However, I did work with her a lot at home. We read everyday, worked on the alphabet (letter sounds, identifying letters, writing, a bit of spelling), numbers (counting, simple math), colors, shapes etc, and when she had her assessment for kindergarten the teacher thought she had been in school (yes I'm proud of myself and her ) My oldest son learns differently than my daughter, so if we can afford for Pre-K for him, I'll put him in, but I think he'll be fine without it too.
That said, I have a friend who teaches kindergarten and she said all she wants out of her kids is the ability to sit quietly, listen and raise their hands, everything else can be taught. I found that very comforting. My kids have done gymnastics or a class through the city here and there. They learned to sit, behave and follow instructions there. Honestly I think that's all they *need.*
Preschool is good *if* it is a quality play-based program.
Pros:
1. learning to get along in a group.
2. being able to separate from parents for a short period of time.
3. being exposed to various ideas - if you have a good school - science experiments, messy art, numbers and letters in a playful way, songs, nursery rhymes (the research suggests that kids exposed to nursery rhymes do better at reading because they learn to rhyme), listening to stories at circle time, learning about the calendar and time, etc.
Kids learn primarily through play in a good preschool. Kids do love preschool usually though especially if it gives them an opportunity to play with friends (if you have none in the neighborhood or out in the parks near you that is invaluable too).
OTOH, if you keep your child home, you can certainly do many preschool activities *and* take them out in the world for *field trips* to museums and other places.
You can, of course, not send a child at 3, but do a preK at 4 if that works for you.
I don't know what the pre-K 'landscape' is out in CA, but I can tell you that in PA I had fantastic experiences for my two sons. I have found, at least in my area, that there were some blurry lines between "daycares" and "preschools." I'm not sure if preschools have the same amount of regulation (I think so, but I'm not certain.) I found that just preschools were usually only a couple hours long, and didn't have their own facility -- most typically, they would rent out space in a church (regardless of whether the preschool itself was affiliated with the church -- some were, some were not.)
I put both my kids in daycares, and I was head over heels thrilled with the experience my sons had. My first son was in daycare because I was working most days. But most daycares incorporate preschool into them. So he had really great teachers and a great day, where they did not believe in showing videos or using toys with licensed characters, etc. They went outside every day and it was just really well-run. My son learned so much and really thrived there. He tended toward the shy side and I really believe his preschool/daycare experience made him a little less shy and more willing to try new things and made it easier for him to make friends. (If I were with him, he'd cling to me, but in school, he was an enthusiastic participant in all the things they did.)
For my younger son, I was home, but I still wanted this experience for him. He also was better for teachers than for me. (For example, he refused to listen to me read him a book, but in a classroom setting he would sit quietly while the teacher read a book to the class.) Most of the daycares near where I lived offered a range of options -- full day, five days a week, half day (AM or PM) five days a week, OR full or half days either 2 or 3 days a week. So you could absolutely use the daycare as a preschool, even if a parent were at home.
I just love the structure and socialization that preschools/daycares provide, and I like that there are different toys and activities than we have at home. I like that the children interact with different adults and get used to a kind of school-like setting.
I know that there are some very dedicated parents who are very active with the children and find organized play groups for peer interaction, and spend lots of time teaching and playing with the kids, and they are great. I am in awe of those parents, but that just wasn't me. So, I'm not saying it's impossible for your child to succeed without a formal preschool. It's just that for many people it provides a lot of things that aren't that easy for some folks to recreate at home.
I've known of a few kids who never went to preschool who were totally overwhelmed by kindergarten. (Even though there are many who do just fine.) But I think the chances of being overwhelmed by K are greatly lessened if the child has been to preschool.
Have you investigated any daycares in your area? Are they willing to do a part time schedule? That might suit your needs better.
Even though we are not really religious we found the 1/2 day preschools at churches to be better priced with a more school like setting and not a daycare. We need it because ours is an only child and she needs to learn how to conduct herself in a school environment before elementary. Right now she is quick to start the tears when told no. Hopefully school will help her adjust and realize she is not the center of attention. We are also working at home on this behavior as well.
I agree, preschool is expensive and not all school districts offer free preschool. And I never went to preschool and adjusted well to school. Sports seems to be another way they can learn these skills Maybe a community soccer league? Usually much cheaper than preschool
Most daycares call themselves preschools these days, so that is the difference. When calling, make sure you ask if they are a preSCHOOL or daycare. Real "preschool" starts at age 3 and there won't be any infants in the facility. Most daycare centers also have a 2 or 3 hour preschool program for their 3-5 year old built into the 12 hours they are open.
Yes, there is a benefit - because the vast majority of children spend their time in daycare from the time they are 6 to 8 weeks old until they enter kindergarten, public school kindergarten will assume your child knows the same stuff the daycare kids do. It's simple things - for instance, while your child may be able to do all the things daycare kids do and more and have had social classes, they do not necessarily know that when a teacher claps her hands in a certain pattern, they are expected to follow up with a different pattern - this is taught in a preschool environment.
When my children were 3, they attended 3 hour sessions twice a week. At age 4, they progress to 3 days a week. The same time is devoted to preschool within a daycare setting, even though the child is actually at the center 10-12 hours a day.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
) My oldest son learns differently than my daughter, so if we can afford for Pre-K for him, I'll put him in, but I think he'll be fine without it too. 
