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Could this be it? that his lack of responsiblity for his kids have to do something with his father going to prison about the age his kids are now. Meaning, his dad was sent to prison when he was about 8-9yrs. old which are about the ages his kids are. My friend was molested by his dad. When I first met him, my friend who he shares custody with his ex was active in his kids life. now that the kids are a bit older, he has been lying about seeing them and not having much to do with them though does talks a lot on phone with them.
I like to talk to him about it but its such a personal subject. My friend has never talked about being abused and barely speaks of his dad. I know very little about the abuse from other people and his dad is a registered SO.
Last edited by KatieCountrycm; 06-30-2012 at 05:10 AM..
(Speaking as a childfree-by-choice person who has worked in mental health for many years), I'd say that early abuse doesn't do much for anyone (nothing good, that is) and he apparently didn't have his father at home, since he was in jail (for the abuse?)
However, many people/men who were abused or didn't have their fathers at home are perfectly good parents, and some are even more motivated to be a good father since they have a sense of what they missed.
If this person thinks he is not being responsible to his kids because of the early abuse, he should get some counseling, because he should want to be responsible to his kids in every way he can. If he blames the abuse for his attitude, he's getting off easy. His kids are NOW and they need their father to care about them.
Humble opinion, and all that. I think for people who haven't known a lot of people with early abuse, they might think or believe that the abuse creates the adult behavior. I have known a lot of people with such histories, both personally and professionally, and while they might need help to get an even keel, it does not explain failing your children as an adult.
I didnt have a father growing up, was abused, and I am totally involved in my kids lives ; yes, I am a mom, but I am still a parent.
His kids need him. As an adult he should know better.
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