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You know that just 150 years ago, 7 year old kids had MEGA chores...mucking out stables, helping to prepare entire meals, driving cattle, harvesting crops, cleaning the house, etc?
Oh, much less than that. My parents were kids during the Great Depression and did all that. And more. As a kid my father went into the coal mines once a week to help dig coal. (Using explosives to expose the veins.) Some was for the coal company. Some he drug home so his family would have heat and cooking fuel. Some they gave away to even poorer neighbors. That was very normal for his area. (And all that was on top of school and the regular work on a farm.)
You can always tell the coal families: When someone starts complaining about their job or having too many chores they respond, "At least you aren't down in the mines!" Which means shut the heck up. You don't know how good you have it.
This is a super old post, but...man, it might be where she lives? I get my kids things in starbucks cups and all I have ever heard is people joking about it.
I know it happens alot online. So easy to judge and say rude things. But in real life? Maybe its living in a major city? People rarely make any remarks
since my son was about two, the three of us would often go to a cafe on the weekend and sit around, and get him his little steamed milk, and he liked drinking it without a straw, just from the lid like adults do. I wonder what that lady would say to that!
Totally with you OP, hate judgemental people, and especially hate rude people who can't keep their mouths shut and their noses out of others' business. Parenthood seems to especially bring that out in the sanctimommies. Total pet peeve of mine.
The first time I was talking to my daughter about something in a store while we were waiting on line for the cashier when a woman standing behind us decided to add her two cents in the conversation. I did my best Samuel L. Jackson impression and looked at the woman and said "Who the F*ck is talking to you?"
How charming.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SKP440
Who knew?
Most mature adults who are trying to raise civilized human beings.
OP - try not to worry so much about what others are thinking. As long as you're comfortable with what you're doing and it's not harmful to your child, let them talk. They are obviously not confident in how they are raising their children, which is why they feel the need to criticize a quiet, respectful mother/daughter. Your daughter sounds amazing. Best wishes for your father.
I wanted to judge you, but then I remembered that most parents don't shy away from giving kids SODA's that has more caffeine than real coffee!!!! as in PEPSI, COCA COLA, ICE TEA, and so on...LOLOLOL
The only thing that strikes me the wrong way a bit, is that I also have an almost 8 year old, and while she is putting her own laundry/toys away, keeps her room neat, and helps putting the dishes away, I don't allow her to clean up the floors, because she is not strong enough to clean them right, and then I have to come back and "clean" them again...And honestly, I would have gotten her a Barbie rather than coffee, she is still just a kid! If she was at least 14, maybe I would have gone for a Starbucks treat, all though I am not a Starbucks fan considering that if I want to make my own coffee I don't need to go out of the house for it....I rather have Dunkin since they put in the milk and sugar in it saving me that one chore...at Starbucks it takes me an hour to get my coffee where I want it with those tiny packs of sugar! I would have gotten her a big smoothie or something we don't normally buy. Or taken her to Build A Bear for some new outfits! JMO. Something she can continue to have.
That's nice for you and your child. What OP did was perfectly fine. She was trying to build a moment, a memory. Buying a toy wouldn't have been a logical reward for her daughter behaving like a big girl. Doing something together that big girls do with their mom has a far more lasting impression than a hunk of plastic or an overpriced stuffed toy. So what if there is a tiny bit of caffeine in it? It's a tiny amount and it's a treat. She's 7, not 7 months chugging a grande from her sippy cup.
One of the things that can be overlooked wrt chores is the sense of both contribution and capability as well as a healthy appreciation for the fact that work is everywhere but it needed be a drudge. We can choose to look at the work of getting through life as this terrible thing we HAVE to do. (Can you hear my tone?) Or we can smile. Sing a song....
My kids are 8 and 11. They are solid contributors to the household. In fact, I think I would not be able to work outside of the house if they weren't. They are capable cleaners, cooks, at laundry, garbage. You name it. They know it is all stuff SOMEONE has to do.
The other day, my husband forgot a very necessary ingredient at the store. My 11 came in and said, don't worry Mom, I will go get it for you. Hopped on his bike and went to the store. AND it made him feel GOOD to be a capable kid who can get stuff done that Mom needs.
Exactly! Requiring chores sends children the message that being part of a family means pitching in and doing things for the greater good and to think of how their actions affect others.
Also it gives them a sense personal well-being. Children actually feel happier when they make a meaningful contribution to the family. By refusing to allow your children to do real work that requires time and effort, you're sending them a message that they are not capable. They still have plenty of time to be a child. But handicapping them by not giving them some serious responsibility is cruel, imo. OP is raising a very loving young lady who obviously cares very much about helping others.
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AND it made him feel GOOD to be a capable kid who can get stuff done that Mom needs.
