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Let's get down to brass tacks: a father doesn't even know that a child is his own apart from the mother's word. The father's bond with his child begins with trusting the mother and grows over time. The mother has a physical, spiritual, and emotional bond with the child in utero; absolute certainty with respect to her maternity; and a God-given intuition about her child's needs that fathers can't even begin to fathom.
SERIOUSLY? That's not brass tacks, that's misogynistic, paranoid bull****. The rest of this post is misandric in nature and I wonder what you, as a male, must have experienced to feel this way. My husband was a SAHD for the first two years of our YDS's life. He had (and continue to has) a bond with our children, in all ways.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WesternPilgrim
Motherhood is different. Sorry if you don't like that, but don't complain to me. Take it up with the manufacturer.
Do you have a direct line to the manufacturer that allows you to KNOW that mothers are different than fathers in how much they love and bond with their children? Methinks not.
Because most moms wouldn't choose to live 1,500 miles apart from their child to start a new life and relationship.
I'm glad things have worked out and that you are respectful toward one another. It will make the divorce much easier on your daughter. But, I'm not surprised people have jumped to conclusions even though it's wrong to judge w/o knowing the circumstances.
SERIOUSLY? That's not brass tacks, that's misogynistic, paranoid bull****.
In other words, it's absolutely true, but you don't like it and can't refute it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25
The rest of this post is misandric in nature and I wonder what you, as a male, must have experienced to feel this way.
This isn't about feelings, but objective reality. Instead of psycho-analyzing the messenger how about trying to refute the message?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25
My husband was a SAHD for the first two years of our YDS's life. He had (and continue to has) a bond with our children, in all ways.
Not in all ways, he doesn't. Other than that, how does your husband's fatherly bond with his children disprove anything I have said?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25
Do you have a direct line to the manufacturer that allows you to KNOW that mothers are different than fathers in how much they love and bond with their children? Methinks not.
Everyone has a direct line to the manufacturer. For skeptics, there is 10,000+ years of human experience as evidence.
I never said anything about "love", by the way. Love is an act of the will, not an automatic feeling built into parenthood.
Last edited by WesternPilgrim; 11-18-2012 at 06:35 PM..
And mothers don't father. Both roles are important. You will never and can never say that ONE situation is better than all others. It's an immature POV that shows little experience in reality.
As for your earlier post, WP, you know damned well that it was worded in a way as to be derogatory towards women. As if it's an everyday occurence for women to lie to men about whose baby they are carrying. THAT is misogynistic. Then you go on to write how men can't possibly have an intuition about how to care for their babies. THAT is misandric. Yes, my husband bonded and continues to bond with our children in every way that I do.
Interesting you chose to cut off the rest of my post, which read:
I chose to cut it out because it did not say anything useful. What the child may or may not remember with distaste is not a metric of parenting that I find useful. And while there are a wide array of choices one might make, not all of them are equally good choices.
A child needs loving and caring parents, two parents together may be best but does not always work out, two parents living apart but sharing responsibility can be just fine. The exact constellation is of lesser importance.
Deadbeat uninterested parents suck.
I was a SAHD for three years when my daughter was born. My ex earned twice what I did (do) and it made more sense for me to stay at home. I did work part time and renovated our house during this time as well.
My ex and I are divorced now for 4 years. My 10 year old daughter moved in with me 3 months ago- mx ex is a fine mother and is absolutely involved in my daughter’s life but my daughter chooses to live with me. My daughter and my ex-wife were having some difficulties now all is well and they get along better than ever. She is well adjusted, does great in school...
Let's get down to brass tacks: a father doesn't even know that a child is his own apart from the mother's word. The father's bond with his child begins with trusting the mother and grows over time. The mother has a physical, spiritual, and emotional bond with the child in utero; absolute certainty with respect to her maternity; and a God-given intuition about her child's needs that fathers can't even begin to fathom.
Motherhood is different. Sorry if you don't like that, but don't complain to me. Take it up with the manufacturer.
Hmmm... Apparently neither my own father nor my DH read the manufacturer's instructions.
Yep. Pretty sure their bonding came from some wonderful place of love deep inside their souls which was given breath the moment they saw their children for the first time. My guess is the instructions were made into a paper airplane and sailed out the window.
Let's get down to brass tacks: a father doesn't even know that a child is his own apart from the mother's word. The father's bond with his child begins with trusting the mother and grows over time. The mother has a physical, spiritual, and emotional bond with the child in utero; absolute certainty with respect to her maternity; and a God-given intuition about her child's needs that fathers can't even begin to fathom.
Motherhood is different. Sorry if you don't like that, but don't complain to me. Take it up with the manufacturer.
I always feel sorry for fathers who hold this set of beliefs.
I chose to cut it out because it did not say anything useful. What the child may or may not remember with distaste is not a metric of parenting that I find useful. And while there are a wide array of choices one might make, not all of them are equally good choices.
Again, that is not what I said.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25
Everything parents do affect their children. We will never make 100% perfect decisions that our child will like or remember with distaste. The best we can do is evaluate our own personal situation, make a decision and try our best to raise healthy, productive children. Doing that comes in many shapes and forms.
A good choice for me may not be a good choice for my neighbor. You cannot please everyone all of the time. There are some decisions that children will not like. Frankly, too bad. As long as the parents are actively looking out for the best interests of their child and coming to an informed decision, I've no complaint.
BTW, please stop misrepresenting what I write.
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