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Shoot. Southern schools tend to have a lot more diversity than schools elsewhere. I'm always amused when someone from a state with a tiny minority population wants to lecture Southerners on diversity. Shoot, on my last business trip to Wisconsin, I never saw a minority of any description after I left the airport.
I agree to an extent depending on what city you talk about in any particular state. The subdivision I live in here in a suburb of Houston is quite diverse in terms of where people live, so the schools are also diverse. We have a hispanic couple with their daughter on one side, an Indian couple with two children on the other side. We have African Americans across the street. We have whites of varying ethnicities as well in our neighborhood.
My grandchildren are biracial - Indian Asian and Russian/Italian caucasian. I do think that the social relationships of the kids here are more laid back.
That said, I do find that kids sometimes self-segregate at the high school level. It seems rare at the elementary and junior high, but for some reason, in high school, the kids seem to hang out with their own race. This was true in our very diverse suburb of Chicago as well. There were groups that did not self-segregate, but the majority seemed to do so during lunch at least.
People stick with people they have the most in common with. With kids, do you really think they are going to put race over how much they can enjoy themselves and each other? A child could give a flying flip about the color of someone's skin if that "someone" is a person they can have fun with. This may change somewhat when they get into middle and high school, but since you posed a question to parents about encouraging "kids" to make friends, and it wouldn't make a whole lot of sense to dictate to children 6th grade and up who to be friends with, the natural assumption is you were referring to elementary school aged children. Which would mean, again, that no they do not care about race unless they are being TAUGHT to care about race, and that really IS the norm.
That's right. They really really don't care. It's only, IMO, when they get old enough to absorb some of the stupidity and rigidity of our existing ADULT beliefs about people that they start to be influenced, if at all.
There's always someone in these threads that likes to tell me I'm wrong, that of course kids (kindergarteners in my case) care about race, and if I think they don't, I'm fooling myself.
But I've seen ZERO evidence of it in my child's very diverse school, and I'm in the classroom every day.
They could care less. Thank goodness. If only it would stay that way. (Although if these kids are any measure, it will - at least in their case.)
Most posters insist that they don't tell their kids who to be friends with but also insist that their kids make lots of friends with children who are not the same race as them. Good for your kids but they are not the norm. People stick with their own kind in my experience. Maybe some pressure by parents would open them up to making friends who don't share their race, color or culture.
Belied by the fact that the more and more people consider themselves "mixed race" or "biracial" every year.
Are you actually suggesting biracial or mixed people only hang out with their own kind too?
Yes, I insist that my children only socialize with children who are of Xhosa/Fingo/Scottish/English/German/Indonesian/Creole heritage with a tiny drop of Chinese.
We live in a really diverse neighborhood being from NJ and all so it isn't hard to have friends of another race. Would I go out of the way to make it happen? Probably not. They can pick their own friends. Over the years, they've had friends all religions, races. As long as the friend is nice, I don't care. Again though, in our area, it is so mixed that it doesn't take much effort.o
I hope that people don't take this wrong but I do have one observation about racial groups, even in a diverse community like ours. I've noticed that some groups really tend to keep to themselves. We have quite a few Indian families who tend to socialize within their communities. I found a bit of resistance early on in setting up play dates when kids w ere much younger. I had long talk with one Indian lady who explained that they try to keep their culture pure or something like that. I was a bit taken back by the whole conversation but guess that is how it is with some of the families.
In the next year, we may be making a move to a less diverse area of the country. It will be quite interesting for us.
You seem to be in a neighborhood similar to mine in NJ. Heavily Indian, and yes, they, as well as the Chinese, Japanese and Koreans, keep to themselves. Yet my kids do have friends of all ethnicities. I encourage it but do not insist on it because I cannot make their friends for them. As my older child is now in high school, I wonder how dating is going to be?
You seem to be in a neighborhood similar to mine in NJ. Heavily Indian, and yes, they, as well as the Chinese, Japanese and Koreans, keep to themselves. Yet my kids do have friends of all ethnicities. I encourage it but do not insist on it because I cannot make their friends for them. As my older child is now in high school, I wonder how dating is going to be?
It is interesting that you say this since my dil is Indian and she obviously married my son who is not. It is true though that at least in the Indian community there is a lot going on that is cultural. I suspect that people will be invited to participate if they are good friends with an Indian child, but with my dil, there was a different activity going on almost every weekend and her parents participated, so she went along as well.
I spend lots of time at my kids schools and what really surprises me is how little interaction there is between kids of different races. Of course in todays politically correct world few of the kids or their parents would admit that they don't have friends of a different race but the true reality is different. The kids divide up by race and country of origin and have very little to do with people that don't look like them. (With RARE exceptions of course and I expect many parents will respond to my post stating their kids have friends with kids of all races and cultures!)
Do you strongly encourage your kids to make friends with people of a different race? Do you think that is the role of a parent in today's world? Your thoughts.
No, I encourage my kids to make friends with kids who will return the friendship, and with whom they share similar interests in. BECAUSE I don't believe someone's "color" dictates their behaviors.
Nope and Nope. Its not my role to force my kids to make friends of people of other races. We live in a VERY white area so all their friends are white. Its fine with me and I don't care if someone doesn't like it.
I am curious. Since you emphasized that you live in a "VERY white area" do you discourage your children from being friends with people other than white people? I know that North Carolin has a high percentage of African Americans and also a high Klan population.
In another thread about names, you said that you wanted to name your new unexpected bundle of joy "Aryana". A few of us wondered if this was a reference to the Aryan Nation or white supremacy. Now this.
Personally we don't force our kids to be friends with anyone. Good friends come in all colors and they have friends chosen from many backgrounds and races. So do we, so I'm not surprised. We also live in a diverse area and are moving to another diverse area. Real world stuff is good. Also, while I am white, one of my kids who was adopted, isn't.
Do you choose to live in a "VERY white area". In case you have not noticed, the most powerful man in the world, our president, is not white.
I am curious. Since you emphasized that you live in a "VERY white area" do you discourage your children from being friends with people other than white people? I know that North Carolin has a high percentage of African Americans and also a high Klan population.
In another thread about names, you said that you wanted to name your new unexpected bundle of joy "Aryana". A few of us wondered if this was a reference to the Aryan Nation or white supremacy. Now this.
Personally we don't force our kids to be friends with anyone. Good friends come in all colors and they have friends chosen from many backgrounds and races. So do we, so I'm not surprised. We also live in a diverse area and are moving to another diverse area. Real world stuff is good. Also, while I am white, one of my kids who was adopted, isn't.
Do you choose to live in a "VERY white area". In case you have not noticed, the most powerful man in the world, our president, is not white.
Just a heads up.
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