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Do you consider my children in the care of their day care provider when they nap?
Even if you deduct nap time and sleeping at night, our children still spend more time in our care and the only way the "logic" that we can't handle child care carries any merit is if we are avoiding child care alltogether.
I don't have time to do all the math right now but, 28% of all days fall on the weekend. Most workers have 3-4 weeks of vacation/holiday day soff. So right out of the gate, I have just as many hours as a SAHM with my kids about 1/3 of all days. I do what a SAHM does 1/3 of my time. The other days, I do something SAHM's don't do. I work a job AND parent. I juggle both. So how is it I'm showing I can't handle my kids? Where's your evidence? I'm not avoiding them alltogether like a SAHM avoids working for a living. I didn't eliminate them from my life the way a SAHM eliminated having a job. It's not even, remotely, the same thing.
It may be harder to juggle a job and parenthood but some of us are up to the challenge. We don't do one to the exlusion of the other the way SAHM's do. We do both. That does not show we can't handle our children. It shows we CAN handle them AND a job. We can do both and we demonstrate that by doing both.
I'll come back later and post a study on child rearing time spent my WM's and SAHM's. It works out to 45 minutes a day difference during the preschool years. Another mistake you're making is assuming that if you're home, you're parenting your kids. That's not true. Much of our time is spent doing things other than parenting our kids when we are home. Because of this, WM's can concentrate parenting hours into the ones they have at home and the parenting time lost is nowhere near the 40 hours we work. Sorry but I have to go to work so I'll get back to this.
The fact that you have gone to such great lengths to "prove" your way is "right" only shows how much you really must have doubted it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler
I believe in logic.
No, you believe anything that makes your way sound like the right way. Every time I make a logical point that discredits you, you ignore the post.
Ever watch Back to the Future? "HELLO MC FLY? I posted a recent study pages ago in this thread on the benefits!"
In the words I am sure to use with my own kids - "Look it up, dear."
I have. Evidence doesn't support long leaves being better than short leaves when it comes to outcomes. Most of our parenting/lifestyle decisions are transparent. While many would like them to mean more than they do, they just don't.
The fact that you have gone to such great lengths to "prove" your way is "right" only shows how much you really must have doubted it.
No, you believe anything that makes your way sound like the right way. Every time I make a logical point that discredits you, you ignore the post.
LOL, of course I'm going to argue what I believe, that's what you do in a debate, lol.
So now suporting your stance is proof you must not believe it. Thanks for the laugh. You kind of have to support your stance in a debate or there is no debate.
I believe in logic. I believe in thinking through things. All I hear from the long leave folks is emotion. I WANT to stay home so someone SHOULD pay me to do it. Sorry. Doesn't work that way.
I don't care if you want to take a long leave. I don't want them to be sanctioned by the government because then it's assumed women will take them and that will impact hiring decisions and promotions. So then we'll need legislation against that and that will foster hostility in the workplace as people who didn't take leaves watch women who took, perhaps, years, out get the same raise and promotion they worked so hard to get.
No thanks. We don't need this.
I see no difference between the kids of moms who took long leaves and those who didn't. The little research I find on the topic doesn't show longer leaves being better (quality of day care matters much more). It does show that if the leave is too long, the negative impact on mom's career hurts the family but that's over a year. Six weeks or six months makes no difference in the end. Take what you like but the bill is yours and so are the repercussions to your career. No one should pay you or protect you from the natural consequences of your own decisions.
I know how your wife feels, but you are very lucky to have in home childcare. Your wife will get over the hump, and the baby will be perfectly fine. A hungry baby will learn to bottle feed within a few days.
Once you get over the transition, it will be fine.
Try not to beat yourself up over this. If this was your third or fourth baby, you would know all will be well.
I know how your wife feels, but you are very lucky to have in home childcare. Your wife will get over the hump, and the baby will be perfectly fine. A hungry baby will learn to bottle feed within a few days.
Once you get over the transition, it will be fine.
Try not to beat yourself up over this. If this was your third or fourth baby, you would know all will be well.
Good advice. We stress over these things way more than we should. If babies are one thing, it's resilient. There is a wide range of situations that work well.
However, the baby will notice the angst mom and dad are feeling.
The fact that IT rejects actual linked studies proving her wrong, to find odd articles from the media and claiming them as scientific proof.. it's just laughable. Truly laughable.
LOL, of course I'm going to argue what I believe, that's what you do in a debate, lol.
So now suporting your stance is proof you must not believe it. Thanks for the laugh. You kind of have to support your stance in a debate or there is no debate.
I believe in logic. I believe in thinking through things. All I hear from the long leave folks is emotion. I WANT to stay home so someone SHOULD pay me to do it. Sorry. Doesn't work that way.
This is what you got from my post?
No, "supporting" your stance is not proof that you don't believe it. There's that reading comprehension problem again. Going to such great lengths to research your choice is odd, and tells me that you weren't sure it was the right thing to do. Normal people do what feels right and seems right for their families and their kids, and they are secure in their decision. They don't need to research their choice.
Good advice. We stress over these things way more than we should. If babies are one thing, it's resilient. There is a wide range of situations that work well.
However, the baby will notice the angst mom and dad are feeling.
And this is exactly why we keep saying over and over again that there is no one "right" choice. It depends on the people and their situation, and what they need to do to save themselves some stress. For a lot of people, that means staying home. I am not arguing with you that staying home is better, or that working is better. I'm arguing with your stance that working is the only right choice.
And this is exactly why we keep saying over and over again that there is no one "right" choice. It depends on the people and their situation, and what they need to do to save themselves some stress. For a lot of people, that means staying home. I am not arguing with you that staying home is better, or that working is better. I'm arguing with your stance that working is the only right choice.
And this is exactly why we keep saying over and over again that there is no one "right" choice. It depends on the people and their situation, and what they need to do to save themselves some stress. For a lot of people, that means staying home. I am not arguing with you that staying home is better, or that working is better. I'm arguing with your stance that working is the only right choice.
Excellent post.
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So now suporting your stance is proof you must not believe it. 
Good advice. We stress over these things way more than we should. If babies are one thing, it's resilient. There is a wide range of situations that work well. 
