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I have never worked as an "Au Pair" and have no desire to do so. I have though spent many hours with my own children, with young men in a Boy Scout Troop, as a youth activities leader in my church, and with the friends of my children. However, I am seeing a double standard here. Many of the women are implicitly or explicitly acknowledging a "double standard" when it comes to men and women. A woman would be acceptable in this role while--without knowing anything about the male applicant's background--to many here, he is automatically not acceptable.
I would like to see more people saying we need to look at each applicant as an individual and not give answers that are simply based on the applicant's sex, stereotypes, and subjective fears.
I'm particularly open minded at believing a woman can work in virtually any career or occupation. However, apparently many women do not believe the same is true of a man. I would suggest you re-examine your opinions on this subject. Its the same kind of illogical reasoning that could be used to keep women from taking particular types of jobs.
When it comes to employment, men have no less right to not be discriminated against then women do.
I have never worked as an "Au Pair" and have no desire to do so. I have though spent many hours with my own children, with young men in a Boy Scout Troop, as a youth activities leader in my church, and with the friends of my children. However, I am seeing a double standard here. Many of the women are implicitly or explicitly acknowledging a "double standard" when it comes to men and women. A woman would be acceptable in this role while--without knowing anything about the male applicant's background--to many here, he is automatically not acceptable.
I would like to see more people saying we need to look at each applicant as an individual and not give answers that are simply based on the applicant's sex, stereotypes, and subjective fears.
I'm particularly open minded at believing a woman can work in virtually any career or occupation. However, apparently many women do not believe the same is true of a man. I would suggest you re-examine your opinions on this subject. Its the same kind of illogical reasoning that could be used to keep women from taking particular types of jobs.
When it comes to employment, men have no less right to not be discriminated against then women do.
Most sexual offenders against children are male. That's a fact.
I have no problem with a male in that role ~ just not for MY child. If everyone else is good with it; so am I. But I will not take that chance with my own.
Male teachers; coaches, dance instructors. SAHD -no problem. But the OP inquired if "I" would hire a male as an au pair for my child. To live in my house and spend time alone with my child. A person I don't really know. I would not. A part of me would want to because I believe it's good for a boy to have positive male role models. I still wouldn't do it. Entrusting your child to someone's care is one of the scariest things in the world to do.
I absolutely would have the choice to put my child in a male taught kindergarten class or not, they are MY children and I choose what is best for them in my opinion.
You do not get to choose the kindergarten teacher (or any other grade's teacher here). The principal chooses who goes into which class and your only option if you decided you did not like the teacher would be to pull your child out and put them in private school or homeschool.
When ours were little we often had a young man as a regular sitter who would pick them up from school, feed, bathe, and put them to sleep. Our kids were boys and they adored him. He later helped them with schoolwork, took them to the movies, and stayed in their lives until he finished college and started working.
We knew this young man from church and so that made a big difference for sure. I don't know how I would have felt had we had girls. But I do know that I would NOT automatically consider a female sitter less 'risky'. Women can be flighty, immature, and unthinking around kids for sure, and sometimes even dangerous. We had case here in NYC of a nanny who actually murdered the kids she was watching. And we had bad experiences too, though if course far less severe.
In short, to answer OP, I think people will hire a male sitter, especially if they have boys, if Mom is single, and if they have looked at the person's qualifications and are willing to judge how well he and the kid might get along.
But there is a big difference between a baby sitter and an au pair. If I had boys I would not have difficulty with a male responsible baby sitter for an evening out.
An au pair lives in, has to prepare some basic meals and spends a great deal of time with the kids. I would have trouble hiring any 21 year old male or female to live in my home and have major responsibility for my young children.
It has been my experience that most 21 year old males have basically only one thing on their mind and it is NOT child care.
I remember a few years ago a major rock star and his wife hired a 20 year old male nanny to care for their son. There was a big birthday party the nanny took the boy to and when he got a chance to go to a concert, he pawned his charge off to another nanny. The substitute nanny forgot about the boy and the kid drowned. it was very tragic. Of course irresponsibility can occur with either males or females but this case started a big national discussion about male baby sitters. Most people said they would not hire a male baby sitter regardless of the facts of this particular case.
I remember a few years ago a major rock star and his wife hired a 20 year old male nanny to care for their son. There was a big birthday party the nanny took the boy to and when he got a chance to go to a concert, he pawned his charge off to another nanny. The substitute nanny forgot about the boy and the kid drowned. it was very tragic. Of course irresponsibility can occur with either males or females but this case started a big national discussion about male baby sitters. Most people said they would not hire a male baby sitter regardless of the facts of this particular case.
I don't think it has a lot to do with whether male sitters are reliable...how many of us are employing a nanny and sending our kids to the kind of party where each kid arrives with their own nanny to watch them?
For me, the reason I don't want a male sitter is that I'm afraid he would behave inappropriately with my preteen daughter, or that she would get a crush on him and encourage him to do things that legally she's not old enough to consent to. I won't let her spend time with a boy her age without supervision, so leaving her with a 21 year old would feel like I left the fox guarding the henhouse.
I won't let her spend time with a boy her age without supervision, so leaving her with a 21 year old would feel like I left the fox guarding the henhouse.
I find it disturbing that there are so many people who think that it is normal for MEN to have a sexual interest in a preteen girl. We are talking 21 year olds here, not preteens.
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