I am terrified of pregnancy (line, years, early, months)
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I'm a woman in my early 30's who is absolutely terrified of pregnancy. My husband and I have been married a few years now, and he would like to start a family. I'm open to being a mom, but I am absolutely terrified to be pregnant. I am not sure that this fear is something I could ever get over.
Anyone else ever had this fear, and if so, how did you get over it?
Things that scare me, in no particular order: feeling the fetus moving, feeling your belly get larger month by month and realizing that you have no control over that, feeling your pelvic joints loosen up to accomodate the fetus, shortness of breath later in the pregnancy as the uterus expands into the ribcage....then there's the birth itself and the loss of control that comes with that. All of these things scare me.
Doglover, it's a very natural process and your body is designed to handle it well. I understand fear, maybe it's fear of the unknown?
Since pregnancy is (typically) 9 months long, you have time to get used to the changes-they are gradual. I understand wanting control-the best thing you can do is to take care of yourself physically (pregnant women can be fit and healthy) and get informed about pregnancy and birth (which you sound like you are.)
At the end, you get a reward of a sweet new baby! It's sooo worth it!
Things that scare me, in no particular order: feeling the fetus moving, feeling your belly get larger month by month and realizing that you have no control over that, feeling your pelvic joints loosen up to accomodate the fetus, shortness of breath later in the pregnancy as the uterus expands into the ribcage....then there's the birth itself and the loss of control that comes with that. All of these things scare me.
Every preganancy is different, even multiple pregnancies with the same woman, so you will get input all over the map. These are my feelings after two natural (non-medicated) births. One when I was 24, the other at 38.
Many of your fears will be allayed by reading up on the process. It is really quite miraculous.
When you first "feel" the fetus move, it is like butterflies. Very minor and once you realize what it is, it's an indescribable feeling. (Like OMG, I'm really going to have a baby!) When you are almost at term, the little bugger will move around, stretch its limbs. Don't try to place a book on your belly while in bed reading, because it will be bobbing all around. By the time it gets big enough to really feel, you will be so in love with it, that it is a comforting feeling, because it signifies that all is well.
As for the control- that's probably God's way of tipping you off that you will not have control over your life for the next 18 years!
The pelvic joints lossening wasn't a biggie to me. It's not unlike the feeling you have if you use muscles that you haven't used in a while. Nothing like if you do an hour of aerobics for the first time in years, much more subtle. Almost a menstrual-cramp-like feeling. No big deal. And it lets you know that all is going as it should.
I never had shortness of breath. I did have indigestion. That was the worst part for me.
The way I look at it, the birth itself is actually when you will have the ultimate control. You will know exactly what to expect and how to respond. Think of when you drive your car. You have no control over any of the other drivers. But you know what to expect and how to respond. With both, as long as you follow your training, you will know what to do.
The birth itself was my biggest fear, yet they were the most incredible experiences of my life. And a time that my husband and I grew closer than I could imagine. There are no words to describe that feeling you will have when the baby is delivered and placed on your chest that first time. No words big enough to describe it.
As for pain.... think of the expression of a runners face when finishing a marathon. You are at the finish line....you know what to expect, you know what you have to do and you are almost at the finish line of the coolest race of your life.
For something that is so common place, there is no greater miracle. It's amazing. And your pregnancy can be one of the most wonderful times of your life. Talk about power and achievement- what could top the creation of an entire new life!
I hope this thread doesn't get all bogged down with horror stories.... there are many. But they are in the minority. As with anything in life, we can dwell on all the "what ifs" or we can educate ourselves and go forward with a positive attitude. Expect the best and most often that is what you will get.
What an exciting time in your life! You'll do fine and will look back and laugh at your concerns.....
Now waiting for that bellybutton skin to fall off...THAT was traumatic for me!
I'm a woman in my early 30's who is absolutely terrified of pregnancy. My husband and I have been married a few years now, and he would like to start a family. I'm open to being a mom, but I am absolutely terrified to be pregnant. I am not sure that this fear is something I could ever get over.
Anyone else ever had this fear, and if so, how did you get over it?
Do you have body image issues? I had a friend who was anorexic as a teenager and very body conscious and she was depressed when she was pregnant because of the (necessary) weight gain. Is that an issue for you, or is it more fear of the unknown?
We're going to try to get pregnant next year; pregnancy doesn't scare me though some of the possible side effects (pre-eclampsia, gestational diabetes) do, particularly since I could stand to lose some weight. I'm working very hard to lose weight now and I've lost 40 pounds in the last year but I'm still in the danger zone as far as side effects go.
Things that scare me, in no particular order: feeling the fetus moving, feeling your belly get larger month by month and realizing that you have no control over that, feeling your pelvic joints loosen up to accomodate the fetus, shortness of breath later in the pregnancy as the uterus expands into the ribcage....then there's the birth itself and the loss of control that comes with that. All of these things scare me.
I loved being pregnant! Feeling the baby move was pretty cool, and yes, you have no control over "getting bigger", but just eat healthy and do some simple exercise - I walked everyday. I gained 30-35 pounds with each pregnancy, but lost it afterwards in about 6-9months with minimal effort. Again, eat healthy and get some exercise. Can't say I felt my pelvic loosen, guess your referring to labor contractions/discomfort. Yes, that can be intense, but I had epidurals and missed the worst of it. The only shortness of breath I had was when I had to go up stairs. The birth itself is awesome and a bit nerving, but I had great labor nurses to get me through it all ( oh yea, my husband too ). Once you see the baby, it will all be worth it!
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). Once you see the baby, it will all be worth it!
