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FWIW, I found a lot of problems with toddler behaviour solved itself when the 2nd one came. Sometimes when you have just one child, it's very easy to let them stand on a pedestal and rule the roost. When the baby comes, you have priorities, you are firmer with discipline, you tolerate a lot less BS. My then-toddler, now almost 4, has autism and struggles greatly with any basic change but he actually modified his behaviour well when his brother come (30 months difference). He wasn't king of the castle BUT of course I still made time for him. However, you tend to get a firmer grip if you put the effort into it.
Are you getting your toddler outdoors enough? I've noticed that when kids are bratty if they're indoors, there is nothing like getting them outdoors, climbing trees, riding bicycles, going for a good long hike or even a good wagon ride --- good physical activity will almost always cure it, or physical activity and a good nap. Take a 3 year old for a good long walk through the neighborhood -- at least a mile and almost always when they get back home they're calm and sweet.
I couldn't agree more. Little boys need an amazing amount of exercise. We used to take our son skating before school, otherwise he was always up to or into something.
The Dog Whisperer always starts out working with dogs by taking them for a good long walk. Just thought I'd throw that in.
Get one of those expandable crawl tunnels and have him goof around with that. Get some monkey bars in the back yard. Take him to a playground on the way home. Get him some chores, preferably ones that involve him walking back and forth a lot.
Wear that little guy out and see if you're still having problems.
By the way, this too shall pass.
But good for you for stopping and accessing this situation.
I am not a single mother, we are still married... But my 3 year old has just so many meltdowns...I know toddlers meltdown a lot, but even my and his parents think that our toddler is a brat, even I overhead the daycare staff gossiping about my baby toddler boy! I don't want a toddler run household....
If you have heard the daycare staff gossiping about your baby toddler boy I would say that they have behaved in an unprofessional manner. Whatever the gossip may have referenced the staff should have spoke with the owner/director of the daycare and he/she in turn should have contacted you to speak with you about whatever issues he is having in daycare.
It has been my experience that if there is a child having issues in a daycare setting then a converstaion should be had between the parents/primary caregiver and the daycare director to come up with a plan of consistency both at home as well as the daycare setting. Oftentimes what is taught in the daycare setting is not being reinforced at home so the child is receiving mixed messages...most adults would become bratty under these circumstances.
Ask for a time when you can go in and speak with the owner/director in order to come up with a cohesive plan for making your life as well as the life of your toddler much more pleasant. Do not give up on your son he is only a 3 year old toddler, afterall.
First there is the terrible twos then, look out, here comes the fearsome fours......<s>
Seriously, I had two very close together and it is hard but, I didn't have one acting out. Do try and talk to someone or it can be bad for all concerned. Do you have family close by ? And, no more children until you can get a handle on what is happening with this child.
Parenting isn't for sissys and you may need some extra help with this one. To do it right is never easy.
One of my sisters was born 4 years after me, I was just exiting the toddler stage I guess, but I was far from well behaved (and I had totally gotten used to being the only child). I was a total princess brat because I was the first child, the first grandchild, first niece, etc. EVERYONE spoiled me. Even the women at daycare fawned over me ALL the time. So, I kind of remember when my sister was born I didn't like her too much because I wasn't allowed to play with her. One day I cut her hair! I got a spanking for that. My sisters and I whined and threw fits over toys and food and all that crap. I remember some of it like it was yesterday.
Now I'm 22 and she's 18 and we all turned out fine (even my other younger siblings). We all get along and I'm a normal, well adjusted person who graduated from college this year on a 100% academic scholarship and just got a full time job.
It will be ok. Your kids will be ok.
I babysat a lot in college and I'm convinced EVERY kid is a TOTAL JERK. They alllllll have some bad qualities and act like jerks sometimes! lol. So when you hear other people gossiping about your kid, don't worry because I can tell you from experience that their kid is a sh*thead too!
It will be hard, but it will not last forever (unless you let it). Get them on the same schedule. While toddler has a snack, baby gets fed. When toddler takes a nap, try to get baby to nap. Of course that won't happen right away, but if you can do it, it will make everything else easier.
You will have to divide and conquer for a while. My husband put my 2 year old to bed every night while I fed the baby. Eventually we were able to trade off so we both bonded with both kids.
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But my 3 year old has just so many meltdowns...I know toddlers meltdown a lot, but even my and his parents think that our toddler is a brat, even I overhead the daycare staff gossiping about my baby toddler boy! I don't want a toddler run household....
They alllllll have some bad qualities and act like jerks sometimes! lol. So when you hear other people gossiping about your kid, don't worry because I can tell you from experience that their kid is a sh*thead too! 
