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Which is to refrain from commenting on others' parenting.
Had a moment...
DW and I were discussing an issue that crops up between us every so often that, truthfully, we'll probably never be 100% in sync about (NB: we're a pretty traditional family, married with 2 kids). A friend of DW who happened to be around chimed in supporting the DW's point of view. This friend lives with her BF who has two kids from a previous marriage and he has custody a little less than half the time.
The issue could be summed up quickly as: "weekdays vs. weekends."
Now this wasn't a heated discussion or anything but for whatever reason it got my goat and I responded about how someone who isn't a 24-7 parent shouldn't comment on what it's like because it's conjecture.
I don't think this friend is a bad parent by any means, or that certain family structures are inherently harder/easier than others, but her comments got to me and I responded/reacted.
Nothing bad happened (she did seem a bit embarrassed) but I still regret it.
I agree with the other poster who suggested simply apologizing and moving on. Haven't we all gotten defensive when someone hasn't taken our side, and attacked them in retaliation? Hopefully it happens rarely, and it sounds like you generally are careful about what you say. The fact that you realize you made a mistake by reacting the way you did speaks volumes of good about you.
Whether she/he should have chimed in or not, your response was incredibly rude and hurtful. The person that should be embarrassed is you, OP, and you should call and apologize asap. In my opinion, if you were having the discussion in front of other people it was fair game for a comment. If you don't want others opinions, don't discuss it in front of them.
Which is to refrain from commenting on others' parenting.
Had a moment...
DW and I were discussing an issue that crops up between us every so often that, truthfully, we'll probably never be 100% in sync about (NB: we're a pretty traditional family, married with 2 kids). A friend of DW who happened to be around chimed in supporting the DW's point of view. This friend lives with her BF who has two kids from a previous marriage and he has custody a little less than half the time.
The issue could be summed up quickly as: "weekdays vs. weekends."
Now this wasn't a heated discussion or anything but for whatever reason it got my goat and I responded about how someone who isn't a 24-7 parent shouldn't comment on what it's like because it's conjecture.
I don't think this friend is a bad parent by any means, or that certain family structures are inherently harder/easier than others, but her comments got to me and I responded/reacted.
Nothing bad happened (she did seem a bit embarrassed) but I still regret it.
She's entitled to voice her opinions around you isn't she?..you shouldn't have let her comments get your goat...not too many parents are "24/7" anymore...what's been said has been said, there's no taking it back....if you regret it, remember that next time and learn from it.
She's entitled to voice her opinions around you isn't she?..you shouldn't have let her comments get your goat...not too many parents are "24/7" anymore...what's been said has been said, there's no taking it back....if you regret it, remember that next time and learn from it.
Sure she's entitled, I'm was just temporarily taken aback that she would comment like she did.
And of course I'm disappointed that indeed my "goat got got" hahaha.
FWIW, by 27/7 I didn't mean helicopter parenting if that's what it came across as, I was referring to having our kids to care for every day rather than custody, say, 6 days a month and the other 24 "free to be a couple."
Sure she's entitled, I'm was just temporarily taken aback that she would comment like she did.
And of course I'm disappointed that indeed my "goat got got" hahaha.
FWIW, by 27/7 I didn't mean helicopter parenting if that's what it came across as, I was referring to having our kids to care for every day rather than custody, say, 6 days a month and the other 24 "free to be a couple."
You aren't really wrong if she is entitled to have and voice her opinion and you are also entitled to the same. I think she should have stayed out of it. When husbands and wives are involved, it's smart to never take the side of one over the other.
She voiced her opinion, then you voiced your opinion aboutbher opinion. To keep the peace you could apologize if you feel like it, but try to make it sincere. You could say yoy wish you had not said what you said and hurt her.
Which is to refrain from commenting on others' parenting.
Had a moment...
DW and I were discussing an issue that crops up between us every so often that, truthfully, we'll probably never be 100% in sync about (NB: we're a pretty traditional family, married with 2 kids). A friend of DW who happened to be around chimed in supporting the DW's point of view. This friend lives with her BF who has two kids from a previous marriage and he has custody a little less than half the time.
The issue could be summed up quickly as: "weekdays vs. weekends."
Now this wasn't a heated discussion or anything but for whatever reason it got my goat and I responded about how someone who isn't a 24-7 parent shouldn't comment on what it's like because it's conjecture.
I don't think this friend is a bad parent by any means, or that certain family structures are inherently harder/easier than others, but her comments got to me and I responded/reacted.
Nothing bad happened (she did seem a bit embarrassed) but I still regret it.
Your line of reasoning could be extended to a level you would probably be very unhappy with. In many homes the women spend more time with their children than the men do. Whether it is through being a SAHM or even just the typical family. So using your reasoning if your wife spends even a few more hours a week with your children than you do, your opinion is based on more "conjecture" than hers is. See how this becomes less and less reasonable the further you follow it?
The reality is parenting is parenting. How much time one spends with children should not be what entitles one to an opinion.
Ultimately, you feel bad enough about hurting this person's feeling that you came here to make a post about it. If that is the case, you should apologize.
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