Outrageous: dad arrested, convicted for making his 8-year-old son walk a mile home from school (legally, play)
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My dad wouldn't have picked me up in the first place, because when we were kids, we had to walk to and from school if we lived a mile or less from it. No bus for us, and mom and dad were both either at work, or on their way to work, when it was time for us to get to school. And no, we didn't have crossing guards except at the driveway of the school itself. The idea of being picked up, then driven partway home, then dropped off on the side of the road and being told to finish the trip on foot would've made me giggle if it had happened to me. I'd be all "this is great - I only have to walk halfway today, yay!" And no, we didn't get in cars of strangers if they stopped and offered us rides. The genetic pool was still pretty solid, among the elementary school grades. We only got progressively stupid starting in 7th grade.
The child obviously lived more than a mile from school because the father picked him up at the school where he was attending day care and drove him all but one mile from home, then made him get out of the car to walk the rest of the way. So your experience is not equivalent. As the dad was picking the child up probably after HIS work, the highway was probably busy with commuter traffic. A neighbor picked up the child, not a total stranger.
Why? What's so different about today than just a couple decades ago when 8-year-olds basically roamed free?
I'm probably around the same age as you (37), was living in a nice suburb of San Francisco, and my mother didn't let us "roam free" at age 8!! She was a pretty laid-back mother, too, not the type who was overprotective or anything. By the ages of maybe 11-12 we were allowed to ride our bikes downtown, and by 13-14 she let us take the bus to the mall - at 8, she wouldn't have let us go much farther than our friends' houses on the same block. So I'm not sure where you get the idea this was common even a generation ago... did you grow up in a rural area?
I'm probably around the same age as you (37), was living in a nice suburb of San Francisco, and my mother didn't let us "roam free" at age 8!! She was a pretty laid-back mother, too, not the type who was overprotective or anything. By the ages of maybe 11-12 we were allowed to ride our bikes downtown, and by 13-14 she let us take the bus to the mall - at 8, she wouldn't have let us go much farther than our friends' houses on the same block. So I'm not sure where you get the idea this was common even a generation ago... did you grow up in a rural area?
It was common where I lived in Orange County (not a bit rural), and I'm ten years younger than you.
Location: In a little house on the prairie - literally
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The courts are crazy.
It was a mile. The kid was 8.
I walked that far to school. My kids did from the time they were 6.
Big deal. I can't believe the wussification of society. Next kids won't be able to bring pocket knives to school. Ooppps... to late... that is already in place.
Both my kids are normal, well adjusted adults who are responsible members of their community. And no, they never got coddled. They never got abused either. Just good old common sense parenting. Which included being held responsible for their actions, as well as appropriate consequences for some.
I walked that far to school. My kids did from the time they were 6.
Big deal. I can't believe the wussification of society. Next kids won't be able to bring pocket knives to school. Ooppps... to late... that is already in place.
Both my kids are normal, well adjusted adults who are responsible members of their community. And no, they never got coddled. They never got abused either. Just good old common sense parenting. Which included being held responsible for their actions, as well as appropriate consequences for some.
This was not an issue of a kid walking home from school!
To which I say--GOOD! Where I come from children should obey their parents "because I said so," period. Children SHOULD have a sense that if they cross their parents that, to quote Josey Wales, "hell is coming to breakfast." I'm absolutely serious. I'm sick of this nonsense that we're supposed to CONVINCE our children all sweet and sugary to please pretty please do as we say. PHOOEY. To a certain extent, I think it's a GOOD thing for children to fear their parents, at least in terms of fearing CROSSING them. I think that's a good thing.
Where I come from, it doesn't matter how you feel or what you think, you do not DARE cross your parents. Ever. Period. That doesn't mean your parents shouldn't care how you feel and factor your thoughts into account, I am not saying it should feel like a prison or boot camp, no, the home should be one of love and caring people who aren't acting dangerous or overly authoritative. The point is that the final decision belongs to the parents, and REGARDLESS of what you as the child think of their answer, you DO it, PERIOD, or ELSE. You may not like it, and you perhaps should be able to express how you feel IN THE RIGHT WAY, but if you DARE go against them or sass them, then yes, they should be able to come down on you like a wrecking ball on a glass window pane. Disobedience is not even an option. Don't like it? TOUGH. When you're 18 and move out, THEN you can do like you want--until then, you don't get that choice.
And that is how it SHOULD be, and the government and busy-bodies ought to stay out of their way, and those who refuse to need to be run out of town on rail.
So if this son didn't like walking home--why then I guess he should've done as he was told. It wasn't his right to disobey his father--his father said behave at school, that he said so should've been all that was required. Period. He ASKED for the sore legs he got. (Heck, I don't see what's so awful about walking a mile anyway, I've had my kids walking that far with me since they were barely 3 years old.)
There's a difference between a loving and nurturing environment where everyone is a team and the whole team works together to get things done, and feeling like your parent is going to come down on you like a wrecking ball if you make a mistake. I never knew what was going to happen to me when I was a kid. I never knew what my mom would do...she might not do anything, she might dump me on the side of the road, she might knock me down as soon as we got in the house, and kick me in the back until I peed my pants, she might tear off my clothes and lock me outside, she might make me go to confession...there was no way to know what the consequences of any action would be. My kids know exactly what the consequences will be if they get in trouble (fight with each other, go out back and pick up the dog poop, don't do chores, lose tv and computer for a while, and so on). They're not scared of me either...they just know if they inconvenience me by fighting or not doing their chores, they will be inconvenienced in return.
You have to wonder what other punishments that dad had given his son in the past, if the son was afraid to tell him what happened at school.
And I walk miles with my kids too, but not down the side of a highway with no sidewalks.
what is the path from the elementary school to home? Did the child know the way by heart? How often has father & son walked the path together? Would it cross any major highway, are there pedestrian bridges, traffic lights? Google Street View would allow this Trial by Internet Forum to have more validity.
How "busy" a street is can be objectively determined by subpoena of the most recent Traffic Survey.
How much daylight was left after picking the child up from afterschool care?
How many registered sex offenders along the route?
I myself walked home, sometimes with a friend and sometimes solo, everyday from 7 yrs old onward. There were older juvenile delinquents, wild dogs, registered sex offenders, a goat to feed thru a chain link fence, a welding shop to watch the sparks fly, and honeysuckle, pomegranates & apricots to steal from old man johnston's yard all the way home. But somehow, we all made it.
Oh and when I got home, there was no one there for hours. Latch key kid.
And 'walking home', is not as hideous a punishment as scrubbing the toilet and cleaning all the floors.
Demond said he has walked or bicycled the same route with his sons twice since that incident. Except for one brief stretch he said there is adequate shoulder and property to walk a safe distance from the road. Had his case gone to court, Demond said he would have videotaped the number of youth and adults that walk or bike the same route.
According to the dad:
Quote:
Kuhio Highway — is in a safe, rural area with acre-size agricultural lots, and a wide shoulder, 10 to 25 feet wide, where it’s not uncommon to see people walking or riding their bikes.
I think a lot of people aren't reading the story. The dad picked the kid up and the kid was being punished in school. When the father asked the kid what he did, the kid answer "I don't know" (turns out it was name calling) so the dad pulled over on the side of the highway, told the kid to get out, walk home, and think about what he did. Father returned about 5 minutes later, but some bystander found the kid crying, took the kid back to the school and the police were called.
So let's just be clear that this isn't a kid walking home from school on his own, it's a father dropping the kid off on the side of a highway as punishment.
The best part was this quote in the father's side of the story:
Yet despite the father's belief that the child wouldn't be absconded... that's exactly what happened in the "roughly 5 minutes" before the father returned. Fortunately it was someone with good intention, but this easily could have ended badly.
On top of that, using this as punishment is putting an obviously distressed child in a physically dangerous situation that they may not be familiar with. Everyone here is making the assumption the child knew the way home. If this was punishment and being dropped off on the side of the highway, I don't know that most 8 year olds are familiar enough with high way exits to know how to get home.
It's one thing to have your child walk home from school. It's entirely different to leave them on the side of a highway as punishment.
I completely agree. I am all for appropriate discipline and even spanking when needed (Lord knows kids don't get enough discipline these days). But dropping an 8 year old off on the highway was totally wrong.
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