Neighbor kid using my son's ipad to look at naked pics (toddler, girl)
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iPads and the bold are not mutually exclusive activities. There's nothing here to suggest the OP neglects to play/go places with her child or that he has other no stuff besides the ipad. It's not an all or nothing proposition. I'm not sure why people make that leap/assumption. Even in summer it's okay to have a quiet minute or two playing a game on a tablet.
Taking it away from the child is not a solution to this problem.
I agree! I was shocked to read that a child so young was given such an expensive device. There are tablets geared for preschoolers. I also wanted to know why the iPad wasn't set on parental control!
I'll leave it, thanks. Actually the three moms were downstairs cleaning up from dinner. The kids were upstairs for about five minutes when it happened. Maybe next time neighbors come over I'll just tell them to leave their older kids at home by themselves. Good idea?
Your clarification that the group of children were alone for only a few minutes makes the actions of the 9 year old even more disturbing. He must have almost immediately took the IPad away from your son and googled naked pictures of women and asked the girls to kiss him. And then said that he was going to google naked men. All within a very few minutes. (see your post below)
The older children of your actual guests were not the problem it was the 9 year old child (and 4 year old brother) who came uninvited and unsupervised to your neighborhood party. Obviously you can not allow that to happen again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmauch13
We just moved to the neighborhood and my son, 5, became fast friends with brothers, 4 & 9, who live behind us. I could tell something was off with the 9 year old. He's very rough. He's made my son cry numerous times, and even gave his brother a bloody nose and has a bad temper. They spend a lot of time here. One day we had two families over for a cookout. There were 7 kids ages 5-10, and then here comes the two brothers. We let them stay. After dinner the oldest girl comes down with my son's ipad and says the 9 yr old googled naked women pics and showed all the kids and we found out later, asked the two 5 yr old girls to kiss him while showing them the pics. I confirmed it by looking at the computer history then told him he had to leave. As he was leaving he yells at me, at which point in time I want to do something I'd go to jail for. I texted his dad. I got a I'm sorry this happened, I told him it's inappropriate and grounded him from his computer. My son missed the 4 yr old so I asked for just him to come over. Sure enough the next thing I know the 9 yr old is ringing the doorbell. He proceeds to tell me he didn't do it, blah blah. We say you're not being honest and you are no longer welcome here. I text the dad to ask if we can get together and talk about the situation and all I get is ok sounds good and no follow-up. Now when my son and the 4 yr old are playing, he stands right at our property line and acts out to get attention. I've tried talking to my 5 yr old, he just turned 5, but he doesn't get it. We've set all the parental controls up now on the computers, but I just don't want this kid at my house. How do I handle this situation? I really want my son to still be able to be friends with the younger brother.
As another reader suggested that when the 4 year old brother is playing with your son (after you received verbal permission from his parent) play inside your house, on the front lawn or at a nearby park so that you can ignore the acting out behavior of the 9 year old on your property line. Tell the parents that their children are not a "package deal" and your son just wants to play with the younger brother who is much closer to his age. You can point out that a child just starting kindergarten has very little in common with a child going into 4th grade.
I agree! I was shocked to read that a child so young was given such an expensive device. There are tablets geared for preschoolers. I also wanted to know why the iPad wasn't set on parental control!
Shocked? Really? Do you live in the Stone Age???? As far as it not being set on parental controls, which it is now, we just moved here three months ago from 7 acres where we had no neighbors. I had never had kids in my house that I didn't know- or that many at one time. I have a child who just turned 5- setting parental controls for the internet, which he doesn't know how to use, wasn't even on my radar. I'm very new to being in a neighborhood with a child, and had I thought this could even be a possibility I would have prevented it. Unfortunately we don't all have crystal balls to see what's going to happen. As far as the IPad thing- I'm not looking for anyone to tell me what my son should or shouldn't have. Opinions are like ***holes; everyone has one and they all stink. My question was how to handle the 9 yr old and his parents.
Thanks for the good feedback everyone. What I'm doing so far seems to be what others are suggesting. This is all new to me. As I just stated to someone, we just moved to this neighborhood from the country. We chose the neighborhood because my son is an only child and we thought it would be good for him to have neighborhood friends, as he is a very social kid. I do feel bad for him because these were the first friends he made, but I know it's my job to protect him whether his feelings get hurt or not. My husband and I have seriously been questioning our move since this happened.
Thanks for the good feedback everyone. What I'm doing so far seems to be what others are suggesting. This is all new to me. As I just stated to someone, we just moved to this neighborhood from the country. We chose the neighborhood because my son is an only child and we thought it would be good for him to have neighborhood friends, as he is a very social kid. I do feel bad for him because these were the first friends he made, but I know it's my job to protect him whether his feelings get hurt or not. My husband and I have seriously been questioning our move since this happened.
I wouldn't question your move. That 9 year old neighbor is not typical. You happened to find the one bad apple in a basket of other wonderful, delightful apples (neighbors). Heck, maybe the one bad apple in the whole orchard. You had one bad experience, just learn from it and move on. Once your son starts school he will have a lot more friends to choose from besides just the few in his immediate neighborhood.
I wouldn't question your move. That 9 year old neighbor is not typical. You happened to find the one bad apple in a basket of other wonderful, delightful apples (neighbors). Heck, maybe the one bad apple in the whole orchard. You had one bad experience, just learn from it and move on. Once your son starts school he will have a lot more friends to choose from besides just the few in his immediate neighborhood.
Thank you. I appreciate that. I'm sure you're right.
Shocked? Really? Do you live in the Stone Age???? As far as it not being set on parental controls, which it is now, we just moved here three months ago from 7 acres where we had no neighbors. I had never had kids in my house that I didn't know- or that many at one time. I have a child who just turned 5- setting parental controls for the internet, which he doesn't know how to use, wasn't even on my radar. I'm very new to being in a neighborhood with a child, and had I thought this could even be a possibility I would have prevented it. Unfortunately we don't all have crystal balls to see what's going to happen. As far as the IPad thing- I'm not looking for anyone to tell me what my son should or shouldn't have. Opinions are like ***holes; everyone has one and they all stink. My question was how to handle the 9 yr old and his parents.
You are the one who started this thread, you came to the forum asking for advice. You didn't like the feedback and retorted with, "Opinions are like ***holes. Perhaps it is you who should become more savvy about the Internet. Stop blaming others, and be proactive in raising your child.
Honestly, when did it become a thing that children playing must always be supervised? This was not toddlers who certainly need supervision, but kids from 5 to 10. When I was a child at that age, we were out playing with no adults around much of the day in the summertime. Did things happen? Sometimes, but we learned to solve problems without so much adult interference.
To the people asking why a 5 year old has an iPad I hate to be the one to tell you but it's not uncommon for young children to have some sort of tablet these days.
It's all in the details. People, myself included, asked about iPad, not a tablet. An iPad is the top of the line tablet. There are very inexpensive, almost disposable tablets that are perfect for kids. In fact there are tablets designed just for kids. iPads have many more applications and access to inappropriate content than some tablets. You can give a child a kids tablet without fear of it being easily abused. IMO, the iPad will eventually lead any curious 5 year old to problems as they hit 6, 7..etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by boulder99
As a teacher, I can say that we've let 5 year olds play with tablets in school. There are some really good math and letters apps out there. Letting your 5 year old son or daughter play with a tablet does not mean that you are a bad parent or that you never do anything fun with your child.
This is appropriate IMO, an unsecure iPad is not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kharing
I agree! I was shocked to read that a child so young was given such an expensive device. There are tablets geared for preschoolers. I also wanted to know why the iPad wasn't set on parental control!
Again...here price is the difference, iPads are $$$, tablets are $. Mom, whether you like it or not, people will judge you when your kid gets an expensive gift. You can bet the other moms who's kids don't have iPads are judging you. If you handle it like you do here, it will be a bigger problem. Let it slide off your back and they will move on. As a society we judge people by what they own, or in the case of a child, by what the parents give their kids. Get used to it. Don't like my opinion (or others), dont post personal situations on an online forum.
It's all in the details. People, myself included, asked about iPad, not a tablet. An iPad is the top of the line tablet. There are very inexpensive, almost disposable tablets that are perfect for kids. In fact there are tablets designed just for kids. iPads have many more applications and access to inappropriate content than some tablets. You can give a child a kids tablet without fear of it being easily abused. IMO, the iPad will eventually lead any curious 5 year old to problems as they hit 6, 7..etc.
This is appropriate IMO, an unsecure iPad is not.
Again...here price is the difference, iPads are $$$, tablets are $. Mom, whether you like it or not, people will judge you when your kid gets an expensive gift. You can bet the other moms who's kids don't have iPads are judging you. If you handle it like you do here, it will be a bigger problem. Let it slide off your back and they will move on. As a society we judge people by what they own, or in the case of a child, by what the parents give their kids. Get used to it. Don't like my opinion (or others), dont post personal situations on an online forum.
Like what, exactly?
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