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The humor is great and the message beyond - very much welcome.
Sure enough, this is brought to us by by the world of privileged moms; but it's not like the trend and the accompanying anxieties are not trickling down onto those of us in more "unwashed" strata of society.
(If someone else already posted a link to this, mods feel free to cancel).
I don't recall anyone calling me mom or mother that wasn't my child, except for a few of my children's friends.
I do but I think this was the least relevant part of the article.
She was just nitpicking there - exaggerating to make a point. I couldn't care less if a coach or a doctor would address me "mom, take the kids inside" or something like this.
The point she is trying to make is that we are dealing with a culture where momism has become a serious form of "-ism" - and it's not an appealing one.
Pressures mounting from the labor market have turned families into maniacs trying to produce the "perfect labor meat" that will shoulder tomorrow's high-tech, high-whatever economy.
Once you go past the humor, which I loved, it is sickening no matter how you twist it.
The humor is great, and it is sickening. We do it to ourselves too. I remember when my sister encountered a very difficult store manager when making a return, and she said she wanted to yell, "I'm somebody's mother" as if that made her more important. It becomes our entire identity, and we pressure ourselves to do it right. I don't recall my mother feeling that pressure. Many things I worry about seemed to not worry her at all. Maybe our mothers were better at hiding it and newer generations of mothers are just emotional messes by comparison.
The nice thing about being an introvert and a parent is that you don't really give a crap about all that cultural noise. We'll raise our kids how we damn well please. Mags, TV, facebook freaks, and even overbearing grands can all shove it. Sure, people look at you like your some form of alien when you don't chase each and every little kiddy/mommy trend, but see back to the part about not giving a crap.
I feel bad for extroverted people with no filter, who can't tune out all the junk brought to you by the media.
The nice thing about being an introvert and a parent is that you don't really give a crap about all that cultural noise. We'll raise our kids how we damn well please. Mags, TV, facebook freaks, and even overbearing grands can all shove it. Sure, people look at you like your some form of alien when you don't chase each and every little kiddy/mommy trend, but see back to the part about not giving a crap.
I feel bad for extroverted people with no filter, who can't tune out all the junk brought to you by the media.
This is absolutely the way to go - and most of the times, this is what I consciously do too. By the way, I am very much an introvert myself so I don't see how the "momism" trend has anything to do with the extrovert-introvert continuum.
Over time I have asked here on these forums, and in other places as well, a simple question:
what happens if I refuse to sign up my kids for tons of activities, fill up their schedules to the max, go gung-ho about "enriching" them, etc?
Are there any concrete consequences that might affect my children's opportunities in life if I just say "thanks, but no thanks"?
Based on responses I received, the conclusion was "yes".
While I absolutely believe I have the right to raise my children "however I damn well please", I also know that I will NOT want to jeopardize my children's chances in life simple because I wanted to live a relaxed life myself.
When I hear that quality universities increasingly expect a litany of extra-curriculars from their candidates in addition to stellar SAT-s...I am simply no longer that comfortable in saying "I'll raise my kids however damn well I please, just ignore the cultural noise".
I am certainly 100% free to ignore the cultural noise, but I know the cultural noise won't ignore MY KIDS.
Maybe our mothers were better at hiding it and newer generations of mothers are just emotional messes by comparison.
Quote:
Originally Posted by syracusa
Sure - but the question is why. There is always a reason behind social phenomena, these things don't start happening just 'cause.
I think it's because most women didn't have careers back then. Our mothers didn't need a mommy meme because they were mothers. Period. It was their role and identity, and they were confident with it. Today, working mothers feel they need to prove they are still good mothers (and that spills over into SAHM feeling the same pressure). Remember this commercial song? "I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, and never let you forget you're a man." It even includes in the lyrics "read tickety toc" which is a children's book. That little interjection of the man saying, "Tonight, I'm going to cook for the kids" wasn't in the original versions of the commercial. This pressure all started in the 1970s, and this commercial is a classic example of the pressure put on mothers:
When I hear that quality universities increasingly expect a litany of extra-curriculars from their candidates in addition to stellar SAT-s...I am simply no longer that comfortable in saying "I'll raise my kids however damn well I please, just ignore the cultural noise".
It has always been that way for landing the top universities. Not every parent feels the pressure to make sure their children get into the top universities. My sister was accepted at a top university because she had outstanding SAT scores, never had less than a 4.0, was yearbook editor multiple years, and had a litany of outstanding extracurricular activities. My parents didn't want to pay to send her there. They told her she could go to our local state university. When she insisted she go where she wanted, they said they'd give her the money it would cost to go to the local state university and she had to pay the rest herself. And she did work to pay her way for the university of her choice.
My point is that you are choosing to make quality universities your priority for your children when many people are successful attending other universities. It's not a requirement. It's a choice you are making. It's a mommy meme you are embracing--that you didn't do your job if you didn't ensure your children had every experience necessary to get into a quality university. There's nothing wrong with that. It's nothing new though. Quality universities always had those standards, and there have always been families that thought attending a top university was of the utmost importance.
I don't recall anyone calling me mom or mother that wasn't my child, except for a few of my children's friends.
What comes to my mind is being addressed as "Mom" by the pediatrician you take your kids to.
My husband and I call each other "Mommo" and "Daddo"- it's a long-time habit even though our kids are all grown up and on their own now. Not sure why we started doing that, but I've got one of those double names- my family and close friends call me by both names, and friends just by the first name and even after 35 years of marriage I swear my husband still gets confused by my name, LOL. You'd think he would know it by now.
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