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Promoting that parents should move around to get well-adjusted kids out of it is a terrible idea. There are other ways of getting them to become well-adjusted adults.
I agree with the part about getting tutors, and joining a church or YMCA, or find a way for them to get involved in activities where they will meet other teens.
It usually takes about 2 years for people to feel "settled" anywhere. We moved 2.5 years ago and still struggle a bit, the kids seem to have found their peer group.
It is hard on some kids when you move. I agree not to move again. Look into after school clubs for the girls to get involved in, talk to the school counselor for suggestions, see if there are neighborhood activities.
It can take time, sometimes years to make good friends. They'll be okay!
Promoting that parents should move around to get well-adjusted kids out of it is a terrible idea. There are other ways of getting them to become well-adjusted adults.
I don't want to go off topic but I want to say I was not promoting moving as a way to make a well adjusted adult. Clearly, I wasn't. Putting your own words in my post doesn't make it my post.
To the topic, a major move is considered a "trauma" in a child's life. with out a doubt it is hard, and sometimes damaging. But, like any trauma, parents can help their child survive and then thrive after a trauma. It doesn't have to be a life long trauma. But it takes parental involvement to help smooth things out.
Shame on you for moving around. You shouldn't be moving around when you have kids. You should have never had children if you weren't in the financial situation to have any. It's not fair to them because you are not giving them the opportunity to get settled with their peers, and become involved community members. I'd say join the church, and one that's in their local district, especially if I think you live in Cranberry Twp. That's a good start. Try to get them involved in things again.
What a horrible response. Shame on them for moving? For trying to create a better life for the family? Please.
If my husband and I hadn't moved from NJ to SC we'd have become HOMELESS because we could no longer afford to live there after our property taxes went through the roof and my husband was laid off and couldn't find work.
People move for all kinds of reasons, but to imply ANYONE is a bad parent for moving the family to try and create a better life is insulting and patently ignorant. I guarantee PA is a much better environment than FL ever could have been - even if PA is lacking in cultural diversity.
To the OP - I wish you the best. Don't move the kids back to Florida - they are getting a better education which will give them more chances for success in the future. Definitely get tutoring for them so they can catch up. Most schools have sports/clubs that kids can join - are there any that the kids have interest in? Drama? Choir? Yearbook? Cheerleading? Volleyball? Softball? Field hockey?
If you are religious, I also agree with the recommendation to find a church with a vibrant youth program. Is Young Life in your area - consider getting your kids involved with that.
I grew up moving every 3-4 years and every 3-4 years I'd have to start over with making friends and figuring out where my place was. Adjusting can take a while but CAN be accomplished with patience and willingness to get involved.
I don't want to go off topic but I want to say I was not promoting moving as a way to make a well adjusted adult. Clearly, I wasn't. Putting your own words in my post doesn't make it my post.
That's tough. I live in the Pittsburgh area, and I know Florida. I know the schools are better here if you are in the right district. Financially you are better off. You may have to work a little harder fitting in, getting tutors, getting them into some sports or something extra curricular. Its definitely not a huge Hispanic area.
The whole "shame on you thing".... just ignore that person.
Making friends is the hard part at those ages...But, luckily having four, they have some built in support and friendships.
Get involved in church, or some community situations where they can spread their wings a bit. Get them into whatever they are interested in....groups or volunteering.
I would keep a close eye...At those ages, when they feel like outsiders at school they sometimes gravitate to the only others that well accept them....and that may not be who you want them associating with.
So, take the bull by the horns....Be very proactive, model it for them....and involve them in finding worthwhile causes that they can participate in and volunteer.
It will expand their world views, and they will be better prepared for adulthood. Good luck
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