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Well, duh. No one said let them grow wild. We are apeaking of physically hurting a child in order to teach him something.
There are other options that are less archaic and harmful.and take more intellect and thought.
Unless you raised your kids to be absolute morons incapable of understanding.
You said "hurt" a child.
When you eat hot sauce on something, do you later say "I hurt myself eating hot sauce"?
Or do rationalize the burning sensation as temporary discomfort?
Lisa Welchel (Blair from The Facts of Life) has a book called Creative Correction and this is one of the things she espouses. Along with this she also has this lovely tip:
Ugh!!!!!
Yeah, I used to like her. But no more.
That's certainly abuse when you go out of your way to burn your own childs mouth that way.
They need to be turned into CPS, that behavior is truly disturbing
Lisa Whelchel is also a bit creepy. So into herself that I am sure that bragging about how SHE abuses her child is something she gets off about. After all, it's a parenting book about how she parents, nothing to do with her kids. They're just the circus act, a part of her show. And she;s the trainer
Liberal loons? Nice. I guess I fall into that category, and yet, somehow, raised three productive citizens, with none of the nonsense types of punishments recently espoused here. The "Right" doesn't swear? News to me.
I agree (even though I first misunderstood you , my bad)
Last edited by CaliforniaGal1; 01-27-2015 at 04:52 AM..
How anyone could think that burning their child's mouth with hot sauce is acceptable is mind boggling to me. It's the lazy man's way of parenting.
IMHO, 99%+ get some kind of perverse satisfaction in physically injuring their children's mouths. Taste buds on children are so sensitive, it's not like doing it to an adult which would be closer to uncomfortable. It's torture for the children
I agree it is abuse, you are spot on
They need to be reported to CPS, and especially those that brag about their abuse. Those are the one's more likely to up the antics, becoming prouder and prouder of themselves
Last edited by CaliforniaGal1; 01-27-2015 at 04:54 AM..
Adults work in the same ways...commit a crime and you will feel pain - mental anguish, restricted movement, confinement, crappy food, loss of contact with loved ones, etc.
That IS a crime This is to the forum in general
If I tried to do it to an adult, you can bet that adult would contact the police!! Getting physical with anyone that way... trying to make them ill?
Who in their right mind would harbor those kinds of motives? Little lone for your own child? WTH?
To even ask if this is acceptable behavior is shocking...
Last edited by CaliforniaGal1; 01-27-2015 at 04:55 AM..
Good Lord, is this composed by someone who believes "It Takes A Village" is a manual for child rearing?
Or perhaps another new-ager who eschews personal responsibility, and would rather have their child on Adderal than put in effort to discipline him herself?
No, absolutely not.
Traditional family,great kids, stay at home mom, college grads, intelligent and well mannered.
.
Treated our kids with love respect and enjoyed them immensely.
No one got hit or hot sauced and we received the love and respect in return.
So, don't know what you are talking about.
Weird
When you eat hot sauce on something, do you later say "I hurt myself eating hot sauce"?
Or do rationalize the burning sensation as temporary discomfort?
No one forces me to eat it as a punishment. its my choice.
You have no kids,you are not a parent, and you have arguments unworthy of my 8 yr old grand child,
Pointless.
So they fear the punishment that will be thrown on them if they don't follow your commands?
It has nothing to do with fear. Children who are spanked with a belt fear the pain of misbehaving so if they do listen, it is usually because of fear. They make the choice to behave because they fear the pain that will come if they don't. Children who are parented peacefully and behave do so out of respect and understanding of every choice has a consequence. It isn't about "fearing" losing privileges just as I don't choose to not pay my bills because I'm "afraid" of the consequence of not doing so. I pay my bills because it's the right thing to do.
That's the thing about peaceful parenting in my house at least. Losing privileges are a rarity. Instead, of "if you don't do this you will lose this" which is a negative comment, we do, "This is your list of chores that should take you X amount of time to get done. Once all chores are completely done, you will have earned X amount of game time." It's more a learning through reward system. It doesn't matter if it takes them longer to do the chore because they are messing around. They don't get extra time. I've seen my children happily come and ask for MORE chores because they had just gotten a new game and wanted some extra time on it.
If a child is sent to his room because he is very upset, it isn't a punishment. "Go to your room because you're being disruptive because you're upset." That's ridiculous. It's, "I understand you are very upset. Take some time to go lay down and calm down. When you feel better, come down and we can talk." Sometimes the whole reason one of my children is having a meltdown is because they are tired because they are beginning to get sick but haven't shown other symptoms yet. Just the other day my youngest did this. I told him the very statement above and went up a few minutes later to find him asleep. He came down later seemingly better, but woke up at 3:15 am sick.
When a child has a bad moment, it isn't always because he/she is a bad kid or disrespectful.
I know, having been a child and a parent myself, that children understand shame and embarrassment. And that shame and embarrassment are powerful motivators in correcting behavior. One of the most direct ways to induce a feeling of shame and embarrassment in a child (or an adult, for that matter) is to discipline said individual in public.
With children, this is most easily and humanely accomplished with a firm swat to the butt in front of God and everybody. Do this once, and unless your child is a pathology, or you have made him one as the product of weak parenting, and it will be some time before he repeats that misbehavior. Unfortunately, in our hypersensitive society this is seen as abuse.
Children also understand dread. The "go to your room and stay there until your father gets home", works much better than the "stand in a corner for five minutes, then go play with your friends" ploy, because children have a limited concept of time. And they will instantly sense that you are the weaker party, not the stronger.
I do not agree with waiting to discipline your children. Misbehavior must be dealt with swiftly, even if that means associating pain with behavior that is potentially or actually dangerous, running into traffic, e.g. Much better for Mom to give a child a few strong swats to the butt, than to have him run over by a dump truck.
Of course, if you don't love your child, you can send him to a "time out" when he gets out of the ICU.
You know, we encountered a father and mother in the store like you just yesterday. The kid wasn't being out of hand at all and yet the parents were constantly on him, berating him, etc. My son whispered to me, "Why are they being so cruel? He isn't even doing anything bad."
There's just no entertaining your comment. I will just go focus on my 4 well behaved children I have never shamed or used physical "punishment aka abuse" with. BTW, the parents who use humiliation on their kids are nothing more than bullies in my opinion. No wonder there are so many bullies in schools nowadays. SMDH
Welcome to the real world. If you don't punish your kids when it is warranted, they're not going to have the right kind of skills for dealing with the real world when they grow up.
If you don't guide your children which is not the same as punishing them, they won't grow up with the right kind of skills.
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, my bad)
