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So you are ok with your kids going out places with people you never met?
That's the problem; why should I be ok with her going out with strangers?
You are the one that let her go to their home. If you didn't feel she would be safe with them, you should not have allowed her to go. A 1 mile bike ride with adults accompanying them does not seem excessive or odd to me. I'm not sure I understand why you feel she was safe in their home but not outside. It sounds like a nice day to me.
So you are ok with your kids going out places with people you never met?
That's the problem; why should I be ok with her going out with strangers?
If I was ok with the parents of my kids friends, then there was a reason for it. I trusted them, and their judgement. Obviously, you don't feel the same way about your daughter's friends parents, because I don't see what the big deal is here. And if you don't, you shouldn't have let her go.
It sounds as though there is a lot of marital tension in your house, which is a terrible situation for a child. She was probably better off spending the day with indulgent grandparents than listening to her parents argue.
You said you knew the parents....so your scared of a bike ride with the evil grandparents?
No, I would not have a problem with what your daughter did. I know for a fact that at least once my daughter was at a friend's house and a grandparent arrived and offered to take the kids for ice cream. I didn't have a problem with it then....wouldn't have a problem with it now.
In that case, I'd be more pissed off at my kid for asking me to do something that my husband already said no to. I'd be annoyed about her going out without letting me know, but I'm not sure she needs to be grounded over it, especially if it hasn't happened before. Seriously, she went for a bike ride, not to a frat party.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhotoProIP
No I didn't; I said that above in the OP. It seemed like a spur of the moment thing; nothing complicated...I expect the same thing, I expect a phone call and/or a text to let me know if they're going somewhere!
My daughter went to dad first thing this morning putting him on the spot (because she was doing facetime with this friend), and asked to go on a playdate with her at her house.
He said no.
Then, about 2 hours later she sucked me into this playdate by putting me on the spot when we were on our way out to go shopping.
So, she goes to this friends house, I go shopping by myself, and then I go pick her up and the first thing she tells me is how she went biking to some store about a mile away with this friend! I tried to stay calm, until we left because this could have turned ugly...
Now, in the car she tells me this girls grandparents went with them....
Here's the problem:
1. Neither myself or my husband were thrilled with this today; he already said no once, but forgot to tell me since he didn't think she was going to come to me with it.
2. I never meet these "grandparents". Not once, I have no idea what they look like, how old they are, and how "bike safe" they are, I only meet the mother, and her father is obtuse at best; he never says "hello", or make chit chat. He's really weird...
3. She knows she's not allowed to go out to other places when on playdates, let alone biking; we live in FL, no bike lanes, and drivers are not used to see people walking or bikers. She hasn't biked in at least 7 months....
4. She's 10, not 15 or older...did not have a phone with her either; I usually give her my spare phone when she goes on school trips etc.; today did not have a phone since I didn't expect this at all. I thought they were playing nice at her house!
5. She knows I text with her mom, and she didn't text me to at least let me know she'll be out wondering with people I never meet.
6. NO, we are not close with these people; her best friend moved away, and she's been seeing this girl once in a while type thing. She is an only child and VERY spoiled/gets away with everything type. I don't raise my kids like that.
7. My husband decided to throw a temper tantrum at me because I grounded her! He's a jerk, and seems to think we live in the 70's still! He does not parent these kids at all...all he does is yell, and ignore everyone so he can play games on his ipad!
So how "OK" is this with y'all?
All that drama is unnecessary when educating your children. Actually, it's counterproductive.
Once children were free to play, come and go as they wished. But today, we live in different times. So nobody should tell you what values and behaviors are appropriate for your family. You make your own rules for your kids. But the question is what do they take with them from today's experience? Did your daughter learn anything or all she will remember is that her parents were mad for no good reason? I also strongly recommend not to portray your husband as "jerk". In your daughter eyes he's ... daddy. Her judgment is way different than yours.
What is with this "putting (him/me) on the spot" language? Is there a back story for feeling that way? It's kinda odd such a normal request would incur such feelings. Though, I do agree that the girl should not have asked after dad says no.
Well, the kid was VERY deceptive. I do have a problem with that.
It sounds like you have pretty bad marital problems anyway. More going on here than we can help with.
I'd want to find out why dad said no first...if he just didn't want to be bothered to take her...then I dont blame her for asking Mom.
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