Would you return to this daycare provider? (day care, baby, parents)

[beera]

I've been using a DCP for a few weeks as a drop in daycare while my mom went on vacation (she takes care of DS 2 days a week). Things were going pretty well and I let her know that I definitely wanted to use her for additional days. Like if my mom couldn't take care of DS or if I wanted a date night, etc.

DS's last day of care she was not home, I admit I was a few minutes late, but DS was her only child according to her on Tuesdays.

I knocked on her door, I called and left two messages. No response.

I went home after half an hour and saw that less than two hours before I was due to arrive at her home she had sent me an email telling me to meet her at a local shop and to bring DS's stroller with me.

I was pretty pissed at that point because although she'd asked me for his stroller before, I said no because I did not want to take it to her place and back, particularly for drop in care that was only a few times and DS was only at her place for a 6 hour stretch. I didn't feel I needed to provider her a stroller anyways, most daycares have their own strollers from my understanding. It was already a struggle for me to take DS, his carseat, and his two bags on those mornings!

I ended up calling out for work that day because I had no clue where she was. I emailed her back that she should refund me for the day because she shouldn't have emailed me to tell me to drop off my DS at another place with short notice and without confirming that I had received her email.

3 hours later I get an email from her saying that she doesn't do refunds and we can reschedule another time.

I responded at that point that I wanted all my son's things returned and that my husband will pick them up at the normal pick up time, I told her then if she wanted to make things right she'd refund me for the day as it was not my fault that she was not home.

When my DH arrived DS's stuff was outside of the house, he was pretty annoyed that she refused a refund for the day.

I figure that's the end of that and a day later I get an email that to me felt like she was covering her tracks. In her email she told me she didn't leave until 10 minutes past when I was supposed to arrive, and that her assistant stayed an additional 5 minutes. I was not even close to being 15 minutes late, so if her assistant were there I would have seen her. Her policy also says to call if you will be more than 15 minutes late, which again I was not. I don't even understand why her assistant would be there on a day that she only had 1 child. Her email basically did not apologize and made it out like I should have been on time. What doesn't make sense is if I were on time she STILL wouldn't have been at her house! She told me to MEET HER at this other shop. The end of her email finished with her asking me to allow her to continue taking care of my son.

I haven't responded, what would you do? I thought she did great overall. She had a clean place, separate room for the kids, fed him good food, and was literally two blocks away from my home.

[Mattie]

I would be PO'd that she expected a call if you were running late, and yet communicated by email herself. What mother has time to check email in the morning when attempting to get out the door with a baby?

But, I would provide a stroller before a car seat. I wouldn't want a sitter taking my baby out in the car, but would like her to be able to take him for walks. Why does she need to drive anywhere when she's supposed to be operating a day care?

She could have offered a refund for the day, I think it was her fault, but at least she is willing to provide a make-up day. If you can work out the lack of communication issue, and the equipment requirements, then maybe. A sitter you like, trust, and is conveniently located isn't easy to find.

[sunshinelove0000]

I would not trust her with my child and quite frankly her attitude towards you is unacceptable. If she is this shady with you how could you trust your child's life with her? It doesn't sound like she is reasonable or uses good judgement. Find someone new

[hypocore]

As a professional child care provider I have to say I can see both sides here.

Do you normally communicate via email? If so, then I can see her believing that giving you close to a 2 hour notice before your expected arrival to meet her elsewhere was plenty of notice. If she asked for a stroller, would that not mean she had walked to this local shop and that she wasn't that far from home? Just as it's not your fault that she wasn't home, it's not her fault you didn't check your email if that is the way she normally contacts you.

If you don't normally communicate via email, then I would question why she sent you email notice of a change she wanted to make for drop off that morning instead of calling or texting you. Is meeting her elsewhere something she has asked or proposed before? Had she mentioned it for this particular day prior to that email? If this was something never done or discussed before, and it wasn't a necessary change of some sort for her to be away from her home at drop off with short notice, then she was in the wrong for assuming you received the email and approved.

What phone did you call and leave a message? If it was a home phone and she wasn't there, then of course she is not going to get that message until she gets home, which was seemingly 3 hours later. If it was a cell phone, then I would want to know why she didn't answer it and would consider that a negative point. If she doesn't have a cell phone, or you don't have her cell number, that would be an even bigger negative. If she is going to be away from her home with children, then she needs to have a way to communicate while on the go.

As far as refund goes.....Most child care providers have tuition based on contracted time and not by attendance. That means all full time and part time spots pay whether or not the child attends. because they have reserved the spot. A parent that has an agreed upon weekly schedule with their provider and pay ahead of time has either a full time or part time child (whether permanent or temporary). Drop ins are children who come occasionally if the provider has space and pay each day of attendance. So, technically, if you fall into the part time category, she does not owe you a refund. Since there was a communication fail, offering a different day is certainly acceptable. If she has not agreed to a refund, then I would guess your child is part time(temporarily) and that she doesn't feel like she did anything wrong. Of course, she could be totally wrong and not trustworthy. Only you can judge that yourself.

Her putting his stuff outside her house could be because she wasn't going to be home when your husband arrived or she was upset/angry/embarrassed about the incident and didn't want to face anyone. It seems that communicating by email made the situation worse than perhaps it might have been had you spoken to each other.

You didn't say what kind of shop it was where the provider wanted you to meet. If it wasn't something that had to be done at that time on that day, or something that was planned in advance with your approval then I would take issue with that as well.

The parents that I interview know before they choose to enroll their child/children that I do take their children with me wherever I go and they MUST agree that they approve, otherwise I don't accept them as clients. If they don't feel comfortable with that, then I am not the provider for them and I have no issue with them looking elsewhere.

Now, there have been times where I haven't waited on a parent before leaving because they know in advance when I am leaving my house and why. If they forget, or are running late, it's not my problem. For instance, story time at the library starts at 10:15 and I leave no later than 9:50. If you aren't here by then, you don't go. If I wait because the parent said they are 5 minutes away when in reality they are 20 minutes away, then everyone has missed story time completely. I am not doing that to the other kids.

If the only available time for an appointment to get my son or daughter's broken glasses replaced is about the same time as normal arrival, then I will ask the parents to come earlier that day, or to bring their children to me there. Glasses are necessary for my children, so it doesn't wait until the weekend.

If it were me, I would have a face to face meeting to discuss this with her. What was her reason for wanting him dropped off elsewhere? Why did she think the email was sufficient communication? Can you set up communication to be a certain way? Perhaps you both agree to email for general communication, texting for more specific communication and phone calls for urgent communication (like change of plans). You both could agree that if there is no reply to an email or text, then you follow up with a phone call. If you've both made the effort via email/text and phone call and still not reached each other, that there is no agreement on any requested change at that time.

[BirdieBelle]

No.

[HighFlyingBird]

I don't know the providers side, but she sounds passive aggressive to me. It sounds like it's "over" anyways.

Can you find drop in care in a place where they occupy the kids in one place. To me that seems like the ideal and what I did (never heard of a provider running errands and such). Then I could be late, pick up early, etc. I also used people who charged by the hour.