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It wouldn't have been wrong though if we hadn't stopped. Some families continue the family sauna much longer.
Well...I don't know about other families but seems like your dad had pretty good boundaries about it. How can you say you would know what it felt like if it was done when you were 14? I am guessing, if you had a "good enough" dad he actually recognized your need for privacy budding at that age.
The guy in the OP is a sicko, that has been established.
While I didn't read the whole thread, so I apologize if this has been addressed, when is the "cut off" age for children to stop showering with their parents of the opposite sex? When the kid is old enough to wash themselves? 10 years old? Puberty? Just curious, I'm not inquiring for my self, just wondering what the general consensus is?
I prefer to shower alone, it's my "me" time . Even showering with the wife is no fun, there is never enough water, someone always has to be cold.
The guy in the OP is a sicko, that has been established.
While I didn't read the whole thread, so I apologize if this has been addressed, when is the "cut off" age for children to stop showering with their parents of the opposite sex? When the kid is old enough to wash themselves? 10 years old? Puberty? Just curious, I'm not inquiring for my self, just wondering what the general consensus is?
I prefer to shower alone, it's my "me" time . Even showering with the wife is no fun, there is never enough water, someone always has to be cold.
I didn't shower with my kids except for like when we were leaving a pool or beach and they were little and couldn't be trusted alone in the locker room. Maybe they were 5 or 6 when the last time...maybe earlier. It wasn't something that came up often. I'd rather take them home to shower if it was an option.
That being said, at 8 and 9 they still see me naked and I still see them naked. In passing. My 8 year old daughter likes me to check that her hair is clean in the shower so she calls me in. My son will change in my bedroom sometimes...he is almost 10 and kind of changes in a place you can't see him. He also prefers now that if he needs a hand in the bath (like giving him the shampoo that is in the shower stall), he calls dad now. And I totally respect that.
On the other end, they sometimes come in when I am getting dressed and I usually turn away but it isn't a big deal. Its happening less and less.
And I am with you, you need 2 shower heads if you want to have a "fun" shower with your partner. brrrrr
Well...I don't know about other families but seems like your dad had pretty good boundaries about it. How can you say you would know what it felt like if it was done when you were 14? I am guessing, if you had a "good enough" dad he actually recognized your need for privacy budding at that age.
I can't know what it would have felt like but it wouldn't have been "wrong" from an objective viewpoint.
Showering with your parent of the same gender is not viewed the same way.
Which itself is a questionable position to hold. As is clear from the thread I have no issue at all with a parent and child sharing showers. Nor has anyone yet made a good argument why I should.
But if someone is worried about something like - say - sexual abuse - then that is a concern regardless of gender. Many abusive pedophiles for example are attracted to children. The sex of the child being irrelevant. And a huge proportion of sexual abuse within families is between a father and son for example.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
WHY did you have to shower with your mom as a teen???
Why do you jump to the assumption they "had" to do it? A lot is implied by that choice of term.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird
ding ding ding we have a winner
Not really because as the user later goes on to say - HAD both he and she been ok with it there would have been nothing wrong with it either. It simply was THEIR choice to do that no longer. Other peoples mileage differ - and that is what is important to the direct question the thread title asks.
There appears to be no arguments for it being bad or wrong in and of itself. Clearly however if one or both parties does not want to be doing it any more- then doing it WOULD be quite wrong. No one should be doing anything of this sort if one or both parties involved is uncomfortable with it.
The question I have not seen answered yet in the thread however is if both parties are a-ok with it - then what harm?
Why do you jump to the assumption they "had" to do it? A lot is implied by that choice of term.
I don't need you to translate my posts for me. I choose my words specifically and intentionally.
So you need a reason why not?
Then take the nudity out of it and look at it like any other activity. A main point of parenting is to teach independence, and just like most other activities, children can and should be able to bathe themselves. I don't continue to feed my kids just because we both enjoy it. I don't dress them. I don't put their shoes on. We don't always even do every little task together just because we can. We don't even always eat together just for the company.
Bathing is no different.
What harm?
Porous personal boundaries.
Social ridicule.
Lack of privacy.
No room in the tub.
I don't need you to translate my posts for me. I choose my words specifically and intentionally.
Then you might enjoy re-reading my post and notice how the sentence began with "Why". As such no "translation" was done - rather I enquired into your thinking behind the selection of the word. So perhaps a little less knee jerk next time, no?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
So you need a reason why not?
Always. If there are no arguments indicting something as wrong - then I do not see it as wrong.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
Then take the nudity out of it and look at it like any other activity. A main point of parenting is to teach independence, and just like most other activities, children can and should be able to bathe themselves.
No one is suggesting they can not bathe themselves. But Can != Must. And Can != Should. Just because they CAN do so - says nothing about the morality or ethics of them choosing not to do so. So their ability to do so alone simply is not relevant to the question of whether it is wrong to do so not alone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
Porous personal boundaries.
PERSONAL boundaries exactly. Makes my point earlier in the thread for me. All too often in threads and discussions like this people against it are just projecting THEIR personal boundaries - and assuming something must be "wrong" with those who do not share them. Mileage differs. Ones personal boundaries does not automatically equate to another's.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
Social ridicule.
Assumed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
Lack of privacy.
Also assumed and pretty similar to the "personal boundaries" reply I just gave above. Where one draws ones own lines of personal privacy differs from the next person. If people WANT personal privacy of this sort - clearly they should not be engaged in this kind of behaviour. But again one should not projects ones own personal lines of privacy onto others and assume them to be shared.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
No room in the tub.
Entirely Tub Dependant Assumption. My own tub for example could quite happily house three adults - or two adults and two kids. Which - with a 5f and 1.5m year old in the house at the moment - it is quite often called upon to do.
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. Even showering with the wife is no fun, there is never enough water, someone always has to be cold.