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She reacted correctly. I hate when people always propose the "tell the teachers first" in cases of bullying and harassment. Very rarely does this send the message to the offender that the victim will stand up for themselves and not tolerate their bs. When it comes to defense(which to me qualifies as anyone putting you in a position where you have to get an authority to mediate) you must protect yourself and stand up for yourself. There isn't always going to be an authority around to help, and in a lot of cases, an authority is not around. I've witnessed many times at public schools, kids being bullied, hit, or harassed, right in front of a teacher who seemed light years away(not paying attention) and the other teachers are off somewhere chatting with each other, talking to another student, etc. In the heat of the moment, when someone touches you inappropriately, do you just stand there with a dumb look on your face, then rush over to tell the nearest teacher actually believing that this will prevent the offender from trying it again once they've labeled you an easy "prey"? Nah, you turn right back around and knock the s*** out of them, and let them know, under no circumstances necessary do they put their hands on you. You let them know that you will not be their victim. And you give them a piece of their own medicine(imagine the look on that boys face when he got knocked out in the face by that girl lol).
I've already told my son, if a kid hits you for an unwarranted reason, you hit that kid back. Don't let anybody just hit you. I never have told him to "tell the teacher" lol. Then again I was raised old school. My parents taught us the exact same thing. We were never told to get a teacher lol.
My son has been taught how to fight though.
In any case I think your daughter acted right.
I've told my dd to tell the teacher-one time. The next time, I told her to beat the brakes off the bully. Then when a teacher comes to me telling me what SHE did wrong, I can tell them "Weren't you told that that kid was picking on her? What did you do about it? Nothing? So what do you expect her to do, keep putting up with it because you were too busy/didn't want to be bothered/didn't want to take sides?"
It's unfortunate, but too often the wrong kid gets suspended, even expelled, for the wrong reason. I agree with your approach, but it can backfire and turn your son into the aggressor when he was only defending himself.
I have a service dog I trained myself. As with a child, I need her to think and to anticipate my needs. One doesn't get that by using the strict obey me rule.
My father raised us with a leather belt and expected obedience without consideration. My brother was visiting me last month and no matter what I asked of him, he said "okay". I finally said something and his response was: you know how Pop was, I learned to never say anything else.
I handled the belt issue a little different: When I was eleven, I was involved in a project with friends and I heard the "whistle" to come to dinner. I didn't move fast enough and the next sound I heard was the belt being swung - in front of my friends. It left a welt. I refused to leave the house until it was gone and didn't speak to my father until he apologized. It was about 2 months. He never hit me again after that. I was the oldest and his "special girl" - he still abused me. If you don't think he was abusive, you are of the same mind and I feel sorry for your children. Hopefully your wife has more spine than my mother did.
I have a service dog I trained myself. As with a child, I need her to think and to anticipate my needs. One doesn't get that by using the strict obey me rule.
My father raised us with a leather belt and expected obedience without consideration. My brother was visiting me last month and no matter what I asked of him, he said "okay". I finally said something and his response was: you know how Pop was, I learned to never say anything else.
I handled the belt issue a little different: When I was eleven, I was involved in a project with friends and I heard the "whistle" to come to dinner. I didn't move fast enough and the next sound I heard was the belt being swung - in front of my friends. It left a welt. I refused to leave the house until it was gone and didn't speak to my father until he apologized. It was about 2 months. He never hit me again after that. I was the oldest and his "special girl" - he still abused me. If you don't think he was abusive, you are of the same mind and I feel sorry for your children. Hopefully your wife has more spine than my mother did.
oh Annie how awful..I never experienced anything like that growing up but how it must damage the soul and brain to be treated that way by someone who is supposed to love you..and it does damage the brain.. it makes me wonder why some have children..
Most people posting in this thread have no idea what self defense is. Punching someone after they have done something to you is not self defense. It is battery and it is a crime.
Last edited by Just A Guy; 06-25-2016 at 01:46 PM..
Most people posting in this thread have no idea what self defense is. Punching someone after they have done something to you is not self defense. It is battery and it is a crime.
The legal definition:
self-defense
n. the use of reasonable force to protect oneself or members of the family from bodily harm from the attack of an aggressor, if the defender has reason to believe he/she/they is/are in danger. Self-defense is a common defense by a person accused of assault, battery or homicide. The force used in self-defense may be sufficient for protection from apparent harm (not just an empty verbal threat) or to halt any danger from attack, but cannot be an excuse to continue the attack or use excessive force. Examples: an unarmed man punches Allen Alibi, who hits the attacker with a baseball bat. That is legitimate self-defense, but Alibi cannot chase after the attacker and shoot him or beat him senseless. If the attacker has a gun or a butcher knife and is verbally threatening, Alibi is probably warranted in shooting him. Basically, appropriate self-defense is judged on all the circumstances. Reasonable force can also be used to protect property from theft or destruction. Self-defense cannot include killing or great bodily harm to defend property, unless personal danger is also involved, as is the case in most burglaries, muggings or vandalism.
n. the use of reasonable force to protect oneself or members of the family from bodily harm from the attack of an aggressor, if the defender has reason to believe he/she/they is/are in danger. Self-defense is a common defense by a person accused of assault, battery or homicide. The force used in self-defense may be sufficient for protection from apparent harm (not just an empty verbal threat) or to halt any danger from attack, but cannot be an excuse to continue the attack or use excessive force. Examples: an unarmed man punches Allen Alibi, who hits the attacker with a baseball bat. That is legitimate self-defense, but Alibi cannot chase after the attacker and shoot him or beat him senseless. If the attacker has a gun or a butcher knife and is verbally threatening, Alibi is probably warranted in shooting him. Basically, appropriate self-defense is judged on all the circumstances. Reasonable force can also be used to protect property from theft or destruction. Self-defense cannot include killing or great bodily harm to defend property, unless personal danger is also involved, as is the case in most burglaries, muggings or vandalism.
This is key. I nor anyone saying the girl deserved to get groped this isn't some woman wearing a skirt is walking home drunk down a dark alley is "asking for it" situation (something I hate.) Rather that she punched the kid in the face not just once, but twice. For a grope that went beyond self-defense. As I've mentioned before as a security guard, I'm not really allowed to be on the offense, more restraint and self-defense. I worked a soccer game last night and I was on the field. Had I had a jumper, the person would just be pinned up against the wall by me or another guard until police cuff them IF they were able to get past the guards like that Lions Thanksgiving game this year (the company I work for somehow let that happen as they work that stadium too.) I couldn't headbutt, punch or choke someone when I had them pinned against the wall. The girl went too far with two punches. One hard slap may have been well enough provided it didn't knock out teeth. The punch well that can knock out teeth, crush orbital sockets, break noses, bust lips, etc. See the difference?
If she punched him either as he was attempting to grope her or while he was doing so, that would be self-defense. If she did it after the fact, she did not act in self-defense.
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