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That 70% leave college with debt does not mean their parents paid NOTHING. The average debt is about $28,000. That barely covers a year of college, R&B, books, living expenses, etc. So perhaps parents are paying 75% or so? Maybe 50% factoring in scholarships.
Where did I say parents paid NOTHING? Statistics show 70% have debt. Nothing in that statement assumes how much debt a student has or the percent of parental contributions or lack of the same. I clearly also said that those who pay in full are in the minority.
Where did I say parents paid NOTHING? Statistics show 70% have debt. Nothing in that statement assumes how much debt a student has or the percent of parental contributions or lack of the same. I clearly also said that those who pay in full are in the minority.
I was agreeing with the person who said this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear
I can't understand parents who force their kids to scratch and claw for everything if they don't have to force them. I am glad things worked out for you but I wouldn't make my kids struggle like that unless I had to do so.
I have been on CD for almost 10 years (!). Over that time, I have read many posts from people stating they were kicked out, booted out, asked to leave, etc at age 18 and had to make it on their own. I have also read many posts from parents saying that's what they did or intend to do with their kids. IRL, I don't know a single person who did that or had it done to them. I know people from all walks of life, from those who never went to college to those who started but didn't graduate all the way up to those with PhDs. None of these people were kicked out at age 18, nor did anyone I know ever kick out their kids and put them entirely on their own at that age. On this very thread, some have indicated they did not/do not intend to save a dime for college. Here's a sampling:
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Originally Posted by convextech
I think that made them better parents. There's nothing wrong with an adult child getting their own grants and subsidies at a college they can afford on their own dime.
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Originally Posted by Yakscsd
Nope....nobody ever promised you a college education. If you want one, you work for it, starting in high school. You study hard and stay focused on doing the best you can so that you can get any scholarships or other financial aid that might be available. Then once you are in college you work or take loans to pay the way. They payoff is all yours when you get that high paying job with millions of dollars over your lifetime.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vasily
The notions that parents have to pay for their kids' education as some sort of moral imperative is absolutely ridiculous, as is the notion that to be a success in life (whatever that means to you) one has to have a college degree. There was a radio show over the weekend and the host was talking to several young women who had grown up poor, were single moms, felt called to the nursing field and made it happen, working multiple jobs to do so. If a kid has a burning desire to do something, she/he will find a way. If not, the kid should find something that doesn't require a major financial investment or years of learning and that will provide a good living.
Quote:
Originally Posted by david0966
Absolutely not. I paid for nearly all my college costs working several jobs and saving all the money. Going to a community college for two years kept costs way down, and then transferred to state university (which too every one of my classes from community college). Kids that expect their parents to pay all their college costs often have a huge sense of entitlement from what I've observed.
I have been on CD for almost 10 years (!). Over that time, I have read many posts from people stating they were kicked out, booted out, asked to leave, etc at age 18 and had to make it on their own. I have also read many posts from parents saying that's what they did or intend to do with their kids. IRL, I don't know a single person who did that or had it done to them. I know people from all walks of life, from those who never went to college to those who started but didn't graduate all the way up to those with PhDs. None of these people were kicked out at age 18, nor did anyone I know ever kick out their kids and put them entirely on their own at that age. On this very thread, some have indicated they did not/do not intend to save a dime for college.:
I get where you're coming from. I don't know anyone who kicked their kid out at that age or didn't provide for them in some part either. I agree that there seem to be a LOT of posters on CD who feel that 18 years of assistance is plenty and do not intend to participate financially past that age.
I think that how people view that is more often than not based on how their parents handled things. It's human nature to view the way things unfolded for us is the best way providing we're satisfied with our outcomes. In other words, people who paid for their own college feel that it worked well for them and so feel there's no reason it won't work the same for their kids. While those who had parents who paid for college feel that paying for their kids either in total or part is best given that is what it's done for them. In other words, we tend do what we know.
Again, no right or wrong way and IMO neither way makes a parent good or bad.
I get where you're coming from. I don't know anyone who kicked their kid out at that age or didn't provide for them in some part either. I agree that there seem to be a LOT of posters on CD who feel that 18 years of assistance is plenty and do not intend to participate financially past that age.
I think that how people view that is more often than not based on how their parents handled things. It's human nature to view the way things unfolded for us is the best way providing we're satisfied with our outcomes. In other words, people who paid for their own college feel that it worked well for them and so feel there's no reason it won't work the same for their kids. While those who had parents who paid for college feel that paying for their kids either in total or part is best given that is what it's done for them. In other words, we tend do what we know.
Again, no right or wrong way and IMO neither way makes a parent good or bad.
My father told us we (my brother and I) were out of the house when we turned 18 and were out of school. I went to Marine Corps boot camp six days after I graduated from high school. My brother dropped out and was out of the house at 17. After the Marine Corps I used my GI Bill, I worked and I took out two small student loans in order to get my degree. I never got a dime from either parent and I never lived at home after high school. Now you know it does happen.
My father told us we (my brother and I) were out of the house when we turned 18 and were out of school. I went to Marine Corps boot camp six days after I graduated from high school. My brother dropped out and was out of the house at 17. After the Marine Corps I used my GI Bill, I worked and I took out two small student loans in order to get my degree. I never got a dime from either parent and I never lived at home after high school. Now you know it does happen.
Of course it happens. Many people have pointed that out in this thread. I said I personally don't know anyone who did that not that it never happens.
I get where you're coming from. I don't know anyone who kicked their kid out at that age or didn't provide for them in some part either. I agree that there seem to be a LOT of posters on CD who feel that 18 years of assistance is plenty and do not intend to participate financially past that age.
I think that how people view that is more often than not based on how their parents handled things. It's human nature to view the way things unfolded for us is the best way providing we're satisfied with our outcomes. In other words, people who paid for their own college feel that it worked well for them and so feel there's no reason it won't work the same for their kids. While those who had parents who paid for college feel that paying for their kids either in total or part is best given that is what it's done for them. In other words, we tend do what we know.
Again, no right or wrong way and IMO neither way makes a parent good or bad.
I do think parents have an obligation to prepare their kids for life as adults. I agree with those who say it seems a bit mean to make kids scratch and claw if it's not necessary. I also agree that the parents' priority should be to save up enough for their retirement before the end of their working days. For some parents (DH and I) this comes right on the heels of getting the last one through college; I was 60 (just) and DH was 61 when our youngest graduated from undergrad. We worked another 6 years. I used to joke that first I worked to save money for my kids' college, then I worked to replenish our savings from doing that. Some people are 10 or more years younger than us when their last graduates from undergrad and have a lot of time left to work, but less time to save up beforehand.
It seems that people whose parents didn't help with their college expenses fall into two groups when it comes to their own kids-Group 1 says that's how they did it and that's what they expect their kids to do; Group 2 says it was pretty hard and they don't want their kids to go through that.
A family story-
My dad graduated from high school in the depths of the depression (1931). There was no money for him to go to college; his family's savings were wiped out. My grandfather was a carpenter and no one was building new houses or even fixing up old ones then. The social welfare programs of the New Deal were just a gleam in FDR's eyes at the time. My dad miraculously found a job and started taking the train into Pittsburgh 30 miles away ( along distance in the 30s) to Carnegie-Mellon (then Carnegie Tech) to take college classes at night school. After a number of years, he had 2 1/2 years of credits and enough money saved to go full time and live on campus. He said he'd come home on the train to visit and his dad would say, "Let me carry your suitcase. I can't do anything else for you".
We provided the funding for a state university for 3 kids. One went to UT and what we had saved provided everything. One went to Rice, got scholarships and a small loan. One had the job everybody in his field wanted when he was 18, so he skipped college. We gave him his school money for a down payment on his house. He makes twice as much as his sisters, but they decided to be school teachers when they were 12. We also paid for their graduated degrees.
Their kids all got scholarships, 1 a full 4 year ride to an uppity southern school and half tuition to grad school, the others got at least 1/2 paid for by their schools.
I agree but we seem to be among the few on here. IRL, there seem to be far more of us.
I have kids with disabilities who literally DO struggle with many issues. I don't want college to be an issue for my older child who is a wonderful student and all around great girl! She deserves a real start at her career without crazy college loans so I feel strongly that she get help from her parents. I know a lot of people like us.
That's exactly what I said. Even though we and the majority of our family and friends paid in full for their kids college educations, I know those who do are definitely in the minority. Most kids get some sort of loans for school hence the 70% who come out with debt. Not all of those with debt have financed 100% of their educations. Family contributions, scholarships, grants and student income help defray costs for many.
Parents need to do what they believe is best for their kid and their family. Whether that means paying all, part or none really doesn't matter. All those are choices good parents make every day.
Great post! I think many of us know parents who save not a dime for their kids' college but take fancy cruises which sucks IMO.
As an incentive, we told our daughter when she was little that if she were accepted to & graduated from an Ivy League University:
* We would fully pay for all college costs
* Once she was done with college, we would buy her a Porsche
Just my luck. She was accepted to 3 Ivy League Universities. She's 24 now and drives a Porsche.
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