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My aunt is a good one for excuses.her daughter does heroin because her teeth are bad. Her father paid to get her teeth replaced with dentures full set. Low and behold her daughter still does heroin. Part of the reason her daughter is the way she is, is she lived a life where nothing was her fault, always someone elses fault
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Originally Posted by germaine2626
Wow, I have never heard that excuse for being an heroin addict before.
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Originally Posted by AlaskaErik
That girl had "meth mouth". Because she, at some time in the past, used methamphetamine long enough for her teeth to rot out. Heroin is just another drug of choice for her and it's in vogue again.
Duh . I can't believe that I missed that. I was thinking that the aunt was blaming her daughter's heroin use on the fact that her daughter needed braces or something like that.
Spent some time last weekend with a family friend. Noticed that, in reference to her child, she made an excuse for her child's actions. Not once or twice, but every time a story was told about her child.
For example, her child used to do track, but no longer does. The mom quickly said, well, that's because we don't have very good track facilities in our new city.
Or she went to swim camp, and she lost the race at the end of camp. That was due to, apparently, the instructors not teaching her the particular stroke, and the other kids had instruction outside of swim camp and that is why they won.
I could go on and on, but each and every story always included an excuse on why someone else didn't do their job, didn't do a good job. It was never "she didn't try hard enough" or "she didn't want to". Always the fault of someone else.
Do you do this?
Who was the person telling the stories about the daughter's "failures" that prompted the mom to interject the excuses?
Not at all. One good example is a few years ago my daughter when she was 4 said something she shouldn't have said to a little boy, and the little boy picked up mulch and threw it at her face. She cried and ran to me. The boy's parents scolded the boy and made him apologize, but I used it as a teaching moment to my daughter because you have to learn in life that your words may have unintended consequences. As far as I was concerned, it was my daughters fault because she provoked him. Personal accountability is something I strongly believe in.
Spent some time last weekend with a family friend. Noticed that, in reference to her child, she made an excuse for her child's actions. Not once or twice, but every time a story was told about her child.
For example, her child used to do track, but no longer does. The mom quickly said, well, that's because we don't have very good track facilities in our new city.
Or she went to swim camp, and she lost the race at the end of camp. That was due to, apparently, the instructors not teaching her the particular stroke, and the other kids had instruction outside of swim camp and that is why they won.
I could go on and on, but each and every story always included an excuse on why someone else didn't do their job, didn't do a good job. It was never "she didn't try hard enough" or "she didn't want to". Always the fault of someone else.
Do you do this?
I feel sorry for that child's future coworkers, supervisors, and boyfriends. She'll always have an excuse ready.
That's too bad for the child. The mom is teaching the child that nothing is her fault while at the same time letting her know she is a failure. The mom should take some parenting classes or get into therapy, so her child won't need to later in her life.
.
Kind of like, "my work schedule makes things hard?"
I'm sure we ALL do it now and then.
Yes. I do.
That IS something I say.
But I work an unpredictable mix of days/afternoons/nights/weekends/holidays with no rhyme or reason on whether I'll work one day or the other.
No week is like another.
No month is like another.
I might not even work the same amount of days from one month to the next, and I NEVER work the same amount of days in a week.
The only time I say this is if someone wants me to join a league with them or get involved in a group that meets at certain repeating times. And I usually say I'll be happy to come IF I do happen to be off that one particular time, but cannot commit to going over and over and over again.
I get what some people are saying..."If you constantly make excuses for your kids, they'll turn into entitled jerk-offs." And I'm not saying that's not true to some extent. However, sometimes, excuses are just a whole lot easier.
I mean, everything in life sometimes feels like a competition. When you're being bombarded by others with all of the great things they or their family or their kid is doing, it can be natural to get into defensive mode and to make excuses about why you/your family/your kid is not doing the same thing.
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