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I let my kids have a taste of alcohol when I'm cooking with it. One of the kids is a pretty good cook and it's hard to understand how something will change the flavor of a dish unless you know what it tastes like. I've told both kids they can drink at 18 as long as they don't go anywhere until they're sober.
Smoking...that's a different thing to me because it's so addictive, expensive and dangerous. I don't think it's possible to just smoke a little bit socially, like it's possible to have a drink now and then. My husband and I both smoked and it was difficult to quit and sometimes the craving is there even though it's been years. It would be much easier to never start than to have to beat an addiction.
Don't mean to single your post out, but I just couldn't get pass your statement above. I guess for alcoholics it's not addictive, expensive or dangerous?
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Personally, I would never let my kids do either as children. I didn't even allow them to drink during the Jewish holidays. What they do in their adult life is up to them, but I hope they learned how bad smoking is for you, and how bad it makes you smell. They both drink, but again, I hope they know moderation. I can have a glass of wine with my kids, no problem.
Maybe I'm one of those old fashion parents that maybe wasn't considered "cool" because I didn't even the entertain the idea to ever let my kids smoke or drink. I never heard them complain they were never able to do either. I never heard them complain that they attended school every day of their lives - yes, both my kids graduated with perfect attendance through their entire school years. I know they are no worse for wear for not allowing them to partake as kids.
Don't mean to single your post out, but I just couldn't get pass your statement above. I guess for alcoholics it's not addictive, expensive or dangerous?
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Personally, I would never let my kids do either as children. I didn't even allow them to drink during the Jewish holidays. What they do in their adult life is up to them, but I hope they learned how bad smoking is for you, and how bad it makes you smell. They both drink, but again, I hope they know moderation. I can have a glass of wine with my kids, no problem.
Maybe I'm one of those old fashion parents that maybe wasn't considered "cool" because I didn't even the entertain the idea to ever let my kids smoke or drink. I never heard them complain they were never able to do either. I never heard them complain that they attended school every day of their lives - yes, both my kids graduated with perfect attendance through their entire school years. I know they are no worse for wear for not allowing them to partake as kids.
To each his own.
Cigarettes are addictive to everyone. Alcohol isn't.
I never gave my kids permission to smoke. I'm not naive enough to think they might not have tried it. We did not allow drinking through high school. Once in college, we allowed a glass of wine at special dinners. We never served alcohol to minors.
Don't mean to single your post out, but I just couldn't get pass your statement above. I guess for alcoholics it's not addictive, expensive or dangerous?
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Personally, I would never let my kids do either as children. I didn't even allow them to drink during the Jewish holidays. What they do in their adult life is up to them, but I hope they learned how bad smoking is for you, and how bad it makes you smell. They both drink, but again, I hope they know moderation. I can have a glass of wine with my kids, no problem.
Maybe I'm one of those old fashion parents that maybe wasn't considered "cool" because I didn't even the entertain the idea to ever let my kids smoke or drink. I never heard them complain they were never able to do either. I never heard them complain that they attended school every day of their lives - yes, both my kids graduated with perfect attendance through their entire school years. I know they are no worse for wear for not allowing them to partake as kids.
To each his own.
Did you kids never get sick? Or did you send them to school even if they were sick? All kids get sick. And I would say, all kids need a "mental health day" once in a while too!
Did you never go on a vacation that was in conflict with their school days? Like a family wedding, a holiday not given off, etc?
If laying at your death bed, would you really find that your kids had "perfect attendance" as a great source of pride and a legacy?
My sister died and had straight As and perfect attendance. It wasnt mentioned in her obituary or her eulogy.
Sorry, what does that have to do with the op's examples of 14 year olds being allowed to smoke dope and 15 year olds being allowed to smoke cigs?
Any parent who allows that is objectively crappy no matter how old my kids are.
And even if I didn't have kids, I have seen some rock star parenting by my parents, my friends' parents, my current older friends, etc. You don't have to be some uptight hard ass and you don't have to be an overly permissive doormat.
By the way, I super enjoy it when any intimation that having any kind of standards for your family and your children automatically gets attacked as being naive or as being impossible.
Because it's not. It's just simply standards. And people who don't get it or choose to poke fun at it are doing so because they can't hope to achieve it.
Like kids who don't drink and smoke are some weirdo outliers. You just keep saying whatever it you need to say to make yourself feel good.
There is nothing more pathetic than the words, "But everyone else does it."
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