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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by james777
In the good old days when I was growing up, that was normal for a parent to tell a child that, and no one criticized. Today, everyone criticizes, and the children misbehave and throw tantrums worse than ever. For those who are criticizing, at least that mother saw that the child was misbehaving and understood that it was her responsibility to bring the child under control, and actually cared enough to do something, which is more than I can say for a lot of parents at public places today.
Thank you. The fear of a cop taking me to jail kept me in line and behaved through my early childhood. What the hell is wrong of being afraid of going to jail, might I ask?
Thank you. The fear of a cop taking me to jail kept me in line and behaved through my early childhood. What the hell is wrong of being afraid of going to jail, might I ask?
Making them afraid to go to jail for shoplifting or punching someone in the face is fine. Making them afraid of going to jail for whining is a lie and it's wrong. Kids are entitled to their feelings. An appropriate response would have been for the mom to pay the bill and leave.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
Reputation: 41381
Moderator cut: orphaned quote
I never claimed to be a parenting expert and I will never be a parent, BUT the topic of a parent threatening me with police arrest to get me to act right is something I'm super familiar with and it worked in my case.
Last edited by Miss Blue; 10-03-2016 at 12:20 PM..
I never claimed to be a parenting expert and I will never be a parent, BUT the topic of a parent threatening me with police arrest to get me to act right is something I'm super familiar with and it worked in my case.
And now that you're an adult, you feel just fine about that? Good parenting is about the long term results, not what works in the moment. That conversation may have shut the girl up at that moment, but as soon as she figures out that her mom lied, the trust is gone. That's hard to repair. Having my kids' trust and respect is worth a whole lot more than having them mask their crankiness for a few minutes.
And now that you're an adult, you feel just fine about that? Good parenting is about the long term results, not what works in the moment. That conversation may have shut the girl up at that moment, but as soon as she figures out that her mom lied, the trust is gone. That's hard to repair. Having my kids' trust and respect is worth a whole lot more than having them mask their crankiness for a few minutes.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
And now that you're an adult, you feel just fine about that? Good parenting is about the long term results, not what works in the moment. That conversation may have shut the girl up at that moment, but as soon as she figures out that her mom lied, the trust is gone. That's hard to repair. Having my kids' trust and respect is worth a whole lot more than having them mask their crankiness for a few minutes.
Yes, my mom may not have been perfect (not even close), but some lies I know she had to tell and things she had to do to help protect me from the streets and bad situations where my strong will and big mouth could get me into trouble. She got me to adulthood alive and without a criminal record, I think her actions weren't perfect but effective, even if we don't have the best relationship today. She did her job in my eyes.
Yes, my mom may not have been perfect (not even close), but some lies I know she had to tell and things she had to do to help protect me from the streets and bad situations where my strong will and big mouth could get me into trouble. She got me to adulthood alive and without a criminal record, I think her actions weren't perfect but effective, even if we don't have the best relationship today. She did her job in my eyes.
Again, we're talking about a cranky 5 year old in a restaurant, not about a teen on the streets.
The mom was probably wrong to do that but we have to remember that she may have been having a hell of a day and doing all she can do just to get through it. Judging her for one action isn't really fair.
That said I wouldn't do it. I would however threaten to take something away the kid cares about (tv, toy, etc).
Note I am not a parent but yesterday I was out eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend and sitting at the table next to us was a woman with her daughter who looked to be 5, or 6. Anyway the daughter started getting antsy, acting grumpy, not really listening etc. The mother started getting frustrated and yelled at her to behave.
Not long after a few cops came in to eat, the mother pointed to them and said "you better behave or those police men will take you to jail". The daughter got real scared and started crying. She stopped messing around though.
What are your thoughts? I think it was not a good thing to do but I am not a parent.
The mom should have figured out why the child was acting that way and then solved it. even if it meant leaving.
I wouldnt and dont put up with that behavior, whether McDonalds or Olive Garden.
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