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I never understood this either and it's also why a lot of kids foster resentment for their parents because they impose and force their ideals and preferences onto the kid instead of actually doing what feels right/pleasant for the child. There is no way in hec I would force my future kids to sit on santas lap and I actually find that interaction inappropriate. and yes it is confusing to the child that they're taught to have boundaries with strangers and people they're not comfortable with but then are forced to sit on a man's lap which is a very intimate jester regardless if it makes them uncomfortable.
I'm not going to impose anything on my future kids that they're not comfortable with unless it's medically necessary and if my future kids want to meet santa, they will stand next to him, shake his hand and take a pic while standing, there will be no sitting on his lap period. I'm also not even going to perpetrate the illusion of santa because the whole concept is stupid but if I see my kids are into it then I will go along with it if it obviously brings them joy but there will absolutely be no lap sitting with santa, the easter bunny, or anyone else.
There are physical boundaries that my kids will be taught that shouldn't be crossed regardless of who it is and to tell mommy & daddy asap if anyone forces or tries to persuade them to do anything they're not comfortable with and as someone else stated it's exactly why kids are afraid to question the behavior of adults because they fear they will get reprimanded and punished for voicing ill actions done by adults/authority figures because their own parents have forced them to do things they weren't comfortable with.
Last edited by Shysister; 12-22-2016 at 11:33 PM..
Jeezo whatever you do dont let them watch Rare Exports, a horror film about Santa and his elves, I was about to show it to a five year old grandson but he wanted to play on his game, thankfully, this film has elves running around in the altogether and evil with it...
One of my son's classmates (she is 5) is terrified of Santa and told her mom "I DO NOT want that man in our house."
I have found her to be a very friendly, smart, and outgoing girl with everyone but Santa. She is already the "popular" girl in class.
Look, if your kid gets into Santa naturally, cool. If he or she doesn't want anything to do with Santa, what is the point of forcing it on him or her?
So, one kid is terrified of Santa, she is probably terrified of Mickey Mouse too, and maybe garbage cans in the street--being popular in kindergarten really is irrelevant. You know for a fact that this girl isn't afraid of other strangers too???
I never understood this either and it's also why a lot of kids foster resentment for their parents because they impose and force their ideals and preferences onto the kid instead of actually doing what feels right/pleasant for the child. There is no way in hec I would force my future kids to sit on santas lap and I actually find that interaction inappropriate. and yes it is confusing to the child that they're taught to have boundaries with strangers and people they're not comfortable with but then are forced to sit on a man's lap which is a very intimate jester regardless if it makes them uncomfortable.
I'm not going to impose anything on my future kids that they're not comfortable with unless it's medically necessary and if my future kids want to meet santa, they will stand next to him, shake his hand and take a pic while standing, there will be no sitting on his lap period. I'm also not even going to perpetrate the illusion of santa because the whole concept is stupid but if I see my kids are into it then I will go along with it if it obviously brings them joy but there will absolutely be no lap sitting with santa, the easter bunny, or anyone else.
Glad you we're on the same page here.
I can also see it from the overworked, underpaid mall Santa's point of view. Given the rampant paranoia of ped***ilia nowadays, I'm sure the Santa actor doesn't feel comfortable having strange kids sit on his lap, either. (Some actors even go as far as hovering their hands, rather than resting them on the kid.) I can safely say he would also be much more comfortable with a handshake and a conversation.
While I agree with not making the child sit on the lap, hug, or kiss someone if they don't want to, I see nothing wrong with making a child verbally greet and/or shake hands with someone. This is true whether that person is a distant family member or Santa Claus. These are the minimal gestures required to be polite, after all.
I think we confuse the heck out of children. One moment we are teaching them not to talk to strangers, the next minute we are having them sit on a stranger's lap who will have their hands on them.
I loathe this attitude.... telling kids to not talk to strangers is encouraging being anti social.
I teach my kids to speak to everyone, but go with no one. A stranger is someone we have not yet met. My kids will hold doors for strangers, use manners, like "excuse me, please and thank you", and speak back when someone speaks to them. I hate when you say hello, wish them a good holiday or say excuse me, and it is met with dead silence.
My son had a woman thank him at Cracker Barrel for holding the door. At toys r us last week, he said excuse me to a lady in the crowd and politely waited until she stepped aside. She stopped dead in her tracks and told him how much she appreciated his good manners. He just turned 6.
We have a customer service rep at work that has to build herself up to speak to anyone. Her parents did her no favors.
This is the first year my kids chose to not see Santa. I have 12 years of framed Santa pictures, but none this year. It was a good run while it lasted.
I brought my son to Santa and he was terrified. I didn't force it because The guy is a stranger. I don't know the guy either and if it doesn't feel right to your kid I don't think you should force them. If it were grandma or a aunt or something that I've known for decades and I know them to be good people then we work on it, total strangers we don't.
Children who are afraid of Santa are usually around 2 or 3 years old. Children naturally undergo a short phase when they are afraid of people in costume, and it is around that age. If you bring a child to see Santa when they are going through this phase, they will get scared of him. The same thing happens with clowns and Halloween costumes. In fact, studies have shown that children in this phase may even cry if their own loving parent is dressed as Santa, and they know it's you.
Why do people make their kid sit on Santa's lap if they're afraid of him? As I said, this "fear of people in costume" phase is pretty short, and so you might not know your kid is in it. The child may even be excited to see Santa, until they get up close. At that point, they may have been standing in line for an hour or more, and don't want it to be "for nothing".
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