Was this the right way to handle this? (parents, appropriate, son)

[nitynity]

Ok, So our 4 year old son goes to pre-k. This evening I went to pick him up from the after school program he was enrolled into. The lady in charge (new hire) told me that my son was 'rubbing' her. I asked her 'what you mean?' She said he was rubbing her shoulder and legs using his palm. I didn't know how to respond. He never did anything similar to anyone before. She added, she don't mind the behavior, but she don't want him do it to other kids in the class and their parents later make it an issue. I am totally surprised she said something like that about a 4 year old. Was she implying he was a pervert or something? I made him apologize to her and went home.

Now thinking about it, I am not sure how to handle this situation?
I asked my son why he did that but he didn't say anything. He is one of those kids who is kinda clueless. If I ask him what he had for lunch, he keeps thinking and later say I don't know. He doesn't recall the details of everything he does unless you ask him right away after he does it. Not sure if it's because of his age.

So now I don't know what exactly happened or why she made a big deal out of it? I felt weird that she announced this in front of everyone when I went to pick him up than pull me to the side and have a private conversation with me. What you guys think?

[UnfairPark]

Just teach your child about personal space, privacy and not touching people without their permission.

I don't think it's something to worry about. He is an innocent child, doesn't know social norms. She is a preschool teacher, not a trained educator with a degree and training, probably doesn't know how to be sensitive to a parent or need to respect a child's privacy.

If it bothers you then discuss it with school's director. You can tell her that you didn't like how teacher handled it.

[octo]

It's 2017. That isn't a problem. Especially in CoCo and rural Texas.

[nitynity]

I don't think it's a big deal either but with what's going on lately around us with people lacking
Common sense I better be safe than sorry.

4 -year-old Accused of Improperly Touching Teacher - KXXV-TV News Channel 25 - Central Texas News and Weather for Waco, Temple, Killeen |

[nitynity]

Originally Posted by UnfairPark

Just teach your child about personal space, privacy and not touching people without their permission.

I don't think it's something to worry about. He is an innocent child, doesn't know social norms. She is a preschool teacher, not a trained educator with a degree and training, probably doesn't know how to be sensitive to a parent or need to respect a child's privacy.

If it bothers you then discuss it with school's director. You can tell her that you didn't like how teacher handled it.

Thanks for the response UnfairPark. She is not preschool teacher. But the employee at after school program ran by a third party. It has got nothing to do with the school.

[UnfairPark]

Got it. Nonetheless, whoever runs that program, should be able to make sure these situations are handled with more sensitivity ... by that person and by other employees.

[PlanoGirl]

Originally Posted by nitynity

She is not preschool teacher. But the employee at after school program ran by a third party.

Then even less likely they have any child-specific eduction or training. I wouldn't worry about it. At 4 years old, this is a completely normal behavior Like the pp said, just talk to your child about personal boundaries, appropriate touches, etc. It should be a constant conversation throughout their childhood anyway.

[UnfairPark]

^This. With so many perverts out there, it's never too early to talk to your children about personal safety.

[nitynity]

Originally Posted by UnfairPark

^This. With so many perverts out there, it's never too early to talk to your children about personal safety.

That's true. If she does something to him, at his age he won't have a clue what's going on if I ask him about it.

[Stacey27520]

This might sound alarming, but do you think that your son may have been inappropriately touched by this aide at the after school program and she is using this very public conversation with you to cover for her behavior towards your son? If you have never noticed this type of behavior from your son before and this person is a new face, I would be delving a little further into what exactly happened.

I think I would talk to this person's supervisor and just make it known that you would have preferred hearing something like this in a private setting. Make that the focus of your complaint right now . At the very least, you can fix the way it was handled. When you do talk to your son about Inappropriate touching, include it to add that it also means no one is to touch him either. See where the conversation takes you.

I am thinking I am totally off base and I don't mean to be an alarmist, but pedophiles are calculating and can manipulate children very easily. Children can be scared into keeping secrets. Just have a low key conversation with him so that he knows he can talk to you about anything. Something just doesn't feel right about this and you need to check it out. If your gut tells you this, then something is off.