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Right, because making an 8 year old cry by blaming them for making the ADULT in the scenario get angry is the more proactive way to handle the situation.
Do do realize you typed 8 don't you? not a 2 year old, not 3, not 4, not 5, not 6, not 7 -8!! an eight year old- that's only 10 years from 18- when do you suggest they start?
Very perceptive! Yes, something happened during the movies, and no our daughter is not usually like that.
Originally we had thought that we'd have a few minutes after the movie was over to stop next door and grab an ice cream cone on the way home, and our daughter was looking forward to ice cream. Unfortunately, we did not factor in over 20 minutes worth of previews (I thought they were included in the listed movie length, I was wrong, totally my fault.) So after the movie was over we realized what time is was, and had to tell her we couldn't go for ice cream because it was too late. She accepted it, but she was sad all the way home.
Once in a while being out a little longer than normal won't hurt. I would have followed through with getting the ice cream as it was already promised.
Life happens. Last night we did not get home from a friends until 9:30 pm. My kids have to be up at 5:30 am to catch the bus. Did it suck? Sure but they are resilient enough to roll with it. Life does not always go as planned.
Your husband is correct that your daughter should respond. It does not have to be a lengthy conversation, but she needs to politely respond.
We have this situation in our family. My sister in laws niece will not speak when you ask her a question. On vacation this summer, my mom spoke up that she had enough of a rude child.
Work is slow today so I'd like to posit to you all our latest parenting situation, for fun, and see what you guys think.
My husband and I have 2 kids. My husband's mother retired from teaching last year, and wanted to move down south to be closer to her children (she was pretty much all alone up north). Moving is expensive, and we knew she couldn't afford to get a new place until her old place was rented out, so we offered for her to stay with us until the rental was figured out and she had saved up for a down payment or deposit and some emergency funds. She has been with us 6 months now, as a guest.
Yesterday was Valentines Day and the kids had no homework. So as a special treat, my husband and I took the kids and grandma out to eat and to a movie. After the movie, we were all tired, as we were just getting home at the kids' normal bedtime. My daughter, who is 8 years old, walked in the door and immediately started getting her stuff ready for school tomorrow. Grandma asked her "did you like the movie?" She just shrugged her off and didn't respond. My husband then says to our daughter "grandma asked if you liked the movie? Yes or no?" She again doesn't respond and starts heading to the bedroom to go to bed. Grandma looks all pitiful at my husband, as if her feelings are hurt. My husband then says "why won't you answer your grandma? Don't make me angry!" At which point she stops and just starts to cry without saying anything. My husband then says "if you don't answer your grandma, then you are grounded tomorrow". She continues to cry, and not say anything. So he grounds her. She then goes to her room, gets in bed, and continues crying.
Once the kids were out of earshot, I told my husband that he was wrong, he shouldn't be punishing our child for not wanting to chat and wanting to go to bed. His stance was that she disrespected grandma by not answering her question, and then disobeyed him by not answering his questions, and should be punished because it sets a precedent for not having to answer to your elders.
After the kids went to bed, my husband and I had a long talk and resolved this. But I want to know, who's side would you guys be on? Who was right? Was what our daughter did a "punishable offense"?
Your daughter was being disrespectful so your husband was right to punish her. I've had a few friends who had kids try that and the ones that didn't get corrected got worse to where they not only ignore you when they feel like it, they get smart at the mouth as well. Nip it in the bud now.
No one cares that grandma asked her granddaughter a question. Of course that's not an issue. The only minor criticism of grandma is that she's old enough to be able to read the room and not look forlornly at her son when her granddaughter doesn't answer after the second time. No need for drama, just drop it and move on. No one's perfect in this scenario and no one's perfect in real life so it's not a big deal, just an observation based on the info we were given by the op. No one is castigating Grandma over her "look" either.
If a child disrespected me, I would probably give their parents a look too if they didn't correct them.
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