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Oh come on, here everyone is talking like going to work is so difficult. Going to the office is a 1.000.000 times easier than to be at your house carrying around a screaming baby who yells at you all day and sucks your nipples untill they bleed. Who poops all over you and pees in your face and screams like theres no tomorrow and you cant even put him down cause hell scream harder and by the end of the day you are covered in poop and vomit, smelling like a dirt bag and barely being able to walk or talk cause you HAVENT SLEEP IN WEEKS.
And you say "going to work" is hard?
When i left the house to work only a couple of hours and twice a week when my baby was 2 months old that was the EASIEST and most relaxed couple of hours of my day BY FAR
Its unfair to expect the woman to do all the work. Reading this responses makes me so glad to have the husband i have. He STILL does the night feedings. All of them.
When my son was a newborn (he is 6 months now) he DIDNT sleep at night OR day, so, basically, if i had to recover from a csection, while breastfeeding every hour, while not getting any sleep, i would probably have died. So, at night, those first 3 months, we took turns. Since the baby fall asleep in my breast after eating (but it was impossible for him to sleep in his crib, as soon as we tried to place him there he would start yelling) i tried to keep him asleep in my arms as much as possible, unless i started to terribly fall asleep, and then my husband walked him through the room and the house. When he started adding bottle, we would one 1 and 1, one time i breeasfeed, the next he gave bottle and so on. Since he ate 1 per hour or more (sometimes he would eat 10 times a night), neither of us did sleep, but at least the other could kinda rest when one was holding the baby.
It was extremely difficult and i wouldnt have make it with my husband. To this day he does the night feedings (2 or 3 now) and i do the morning feeding and take care of baby from 7am on so my husband can sleep in.
This is team work. In this thread it seems everyone expects women to do everything. Thats completely unfair. There are babies that do not nap or sleep at night. So you basically expect your wife to not get ANY sleep for months, while breastfeed all day, hear a crying baby in her hear, and recover her body from birth?
Wow, really nice and fair
I can relate to this post. I had a c-section, and my first did not sleep. He didn't do the normal baby thing of waking, eating, and going back to sleep. He would wake up and stay up. We were both like zombies for the first few weeks. That's when we started trading off. I went to bed early and got up and went out to the couch with the baby around 12 or 1, and he went to bed until morning.
The way some are describing it here, dad's job is making money M-F 8-5, and mom's is 24/7. That's hardly fair.
I do think it is strange that the OP says his wife is insisting that he do ALL the night feedings. That is uneven the other way. I think they need to split it up. It should be easier than it was for us because they seem to already have a pretty good schedule going.
Its unfair to expect the woman to do all the work. Reading this responses makes me so glad to have the husband i have. He STILL does the night feedings. All of them.
When my son was a newborn (he is 6 months now) he DIDNT sleep at night OR day, so, basically, if i had to recover from a csection, while breastfeeding every hour, while not getting any sleep, i would probably have died. So, at night, those first 3 months, we took turns. Since the baby fall asleep in my breast after eating (but it was impossible for him to sleep in his crib, as soon as we tried to place him there he would start yelling) i tried to keep him asleep in my arms as much as possible, unless i started to terribly fall asleep, and then my husband walked him through the room and the house. When he started adding bottle, we would one 1 and 1, one time i breeasfeed, the next he gave bottle and so on. Since he ate 1 per hour or more (sometimes he would eat 10 times a night), neither of us did sleep, but at least the other could kinda rest when one was holding the baby.
It was extremely difficult and i wouldnt have make it with my husband. To this day he does the night feedings (2 or 3 now) and i do the morning feeding and take care of baby from 7am on so my husband can sleep in.
This is team work. In this thread it seems everyone expects women to do everything. Thats completely unfair. There are babies that do not nap or sleep at night. So you basically expect your wife to not get ANY sleep for months, while breastfeed all day, hear a crying baby in her hear, and recover her body from birth?
Wow, really nice and fair
It's not about expecting OP's wife to "do all the work". But nighttime feedings should be covered by his wife during the week when he has to get up early and commute to work. On the weekend he can take over a night feeding or two and even give her a full day off. During weeknights he can help. But the big point was OP's wife expecting him to do all the night feedings even when he has to work. That is not considerate at all. If the situation was reversed and she had to get up and go to work early (with a 2 hour commute) would we think it was ok that he demanded she do all the feedings?
Oh come on, here everyone is talking like going to work is so difficult. Going to the office is a 1.000.000 times easier than to be at your house carrying around a screaming baby who yells at you all day and sucks your nipples untill they bleed. Who poops all over you and pees in your face and screams like theres no tomorrow and you cant even put him down cause hell scream harder and by the end of the day you are covered in poop and vomit, smelling like a dirt bag and barely being able to walk or talk cause you HAVENT SLEEP IN WEEKS.
And you say "going to work" is hard?
When i left the house to work only a couple of hours and twice a week when my baby was 2 months old that was the EASIEST and most relaxed couple of hours of my day BY FAR
My wife 100000% agrees with you.
Both of us have/had high level/high pressure jobs, and they were still less taxing than taking care of our kids.
I think you should take your turn on the nights before your days off. When you ave to get up and go to work you need your sleep. 2 hour commute could be very dangerous if you are not rested.
I think you should take your turn on the nights before your days off. When you ave to get up and go to work you need your sleep. 2 hour commute could be very dangerous if you are not rested.
Does the OP even drive or does he take the train/subway?
I never napped when they napped either. I think finding a solution for the overnights is important. What the OP is doing now, with both of them up multiple times seems pretty ridiculous to me.
This. Who the heck pumps in the middle of the night? And why are they both up? Also, I think the wife has him doing night feedings during his pat leave. I think he only fears that she will expect it to continue. Op should should just straight up tell the wife, you feed sun- Thur and I will feed Friday and Saturday.
She worked, while I attended grad school. We had to work around our daily and weekly schedules. She or I always seemed to be able to get off to feed our first-born. She expressed her own milk the night before, when I was doing the feeding.
Flexibility and commitment were the top two elements in our daily plans.
My son was born a few weeks ago and I was lucky to get a few weeks of paid paternity leave, but I'll be going back to work next week. my wife and I are trying to establish a nightly routine in which I feed about 4 oz of bottled breast milk at around 11 pm, 2 am, and 5 am. My wife usually pumps more around 2 or 5. 11 PM is usually bedtime for everyone.
Unfortunately, I usually have to get up for work around 5:15 and I need to leave the house by 6. My commute is about 2 hours each way so I normally don't get home until 7 on a good day!
Should my wife being taking over some of the feeds at night? I've only been getting about 4 hours of sleep max each night and right now it's not an issue because I can nap during the day, but it's unfeasible when I'm at work...
What did some of you do during the first few months?
So, in the middle of the night both of you are getting up twice? Am I the only one who thinks that's unnecessary and a waste of sleep, a hard to come by commodity for a while?
I take the train but only about 40-50 min of it is sleepable. The rest is subway, driving, and walking.
We are just trying to figure things out as we go - we have some friends that pump at night and are able to produce a lot so that's why she does it.
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2 hour commute could be very dangerous if you are not rested.
