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Both parents need therapy and I would surely be talking with the baby's doctor. Reading books to parent, yeah, that isn't the real world. Babies are all different as are parents. I am concerned the mother may harm herself and/or her baby.
Being a new parent can be pure hell especially if you don't have any help and it's your first time. I've seen new parents succumb to the pressure and end up fired, divorced, or even dead. It's hard. Parenting (usually) gets easier as the child ages, as they start becoming more self sufficient and no longer require 24/7 attention. Infants are the most difficult because they are so fragile and they disrupt your sleep. Toddlers are terrors that require constant attention, but at least they (usually) sleep 12 hours a day, most of that at night. And then shortly after the toddler stage, your child will be occupied with school.
So in other words, just hang in there. Parenting is never easy, but at least when your child is older you won't feel like you're in panic and crisis mode 24/7.
No. The mom needs help.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3
Hire a "mother's Aide".
(Not the same as a nanny. These ladies give tips to the parent...)
Then gett working on creating a serene environment. Sounds...Odors...Commotion .All absorbed by the young one.
My dil hired one to walk her thru safety,handling, and the environment . It was amazing to visit..The baby ( my grand daughter) had such calmness..Sure she had belly aches..Yet the family sought medical...And didn't get anxious...
I've seen the reason some babies are fussy or collicky.(sp?) The adults and homestead play an important part in stability...
And yes, some ladies do have mental.duress...And a day away won't cure it...
The mom needs mental health care, not an "aide" to tell her how to parent. That could just make things worse. (IMO)
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnywhereElse
Both parents need therapy and I would surely be talking with the baby's doctor. Reading books to parent, yeah, that isn't the real world. Babies are all different as are parents. I am concerned the mother may harm herself and/or her baby.
Ya, and when day care reports to the parents that the kid is screaming all day, that won't cause any extra stress...
Daycares don't know how to deal with babies who cry. Ok. He's the first baby on earth who cried lol
The mother needs a break and if she won't help herself, then the father needs to step in and make her take a break whether it is by using daycare or pumping so he can stay up with him some nights
People make their lives harder than it needs to be sometimes
Daycares don't know how to deal with babies who cry. Ok. He's the first baby on earth who cried lol
The mother needs a break and if she won't help herself, then the father needs to step in and make her take a break whether it is by using daycare or pumping so he can stay up with him some nights
People make their lives harder than it needs to be sometimes
I'm not sure I saw this suggested previously, but I may have missed it.
You might consider keeping a food diary for a couple of weeks for both mom & baby. Then check the diary for those nights where he wakes up screaming. That might highlight a common item that might be bothering him. If you find something, then you can try eliminating it to see if it helps.
As for not being upset during the day - if he does have reflux, it may not bother him while he's upright and mobile. It might only bother him while he's laying down for sleep.
The food diary is good advice. Food allergies/sensitivities are not always easy to spot. OP, if your wife is vegan, diet is probably very important to her, so keeping a food diary might feel very proactive for her.
And I concur with day v night fussing. My babes that had reflux were fine during the day...but oh my, I literally dreaded going to bed at night. None of mine displayed the classic symptom of excessive spitting up, AND none of them had the same symptoms, so it made each case difficult to diagnose.
Glad you came back to check in, and so glad you're feeling a glimmer of hope. Please try to support, encourage and affirm your wife as much as you can. Even when--especially when--she's not feeling/acting particularly lovable. Y'all will get through this. Hugs to all 3 of you.
Simple: I begged for help, and told her of my ordeal over the past couple of weeks trying to get help. I had first gone to my midwife, who referred me to a counselor, who in turn referred me to a psychiatrist. I sat through a 3.5 hour evaluation, confessed a detailed description of how I was planning to kill myself... and I was told they don't normally "deal with postpartum depression", then sent home with nothing but an appointment card for a follow up in 6 weeks. I told my kids doctor what happened and she (knowing me as little Miss "I'll stick with fish oil and essential oils, thank you very much") intervened and wrote me enough of a prescription to hold me over until I could get under the care of doctor.
I call BS! A doctor cannot write an RX for someone who is not their patient, regardless of their relationship otherwise. You must be an established patient of record before any md will prescribe anything.
If such a scenario did happen, the doctor you appealed to would tell you to go to the ER. Besides, there's no short-term med that will "hold you over" or someone in a mental health crisis. Most AD drugs take 1-2 weeks to kick in.
A lot here on this thread is pure fantasizing. Certain issues, such as parenting, mental health, and general health act as a trigger for others to "get in on the act". It was such fantasizing and projecting that placed my family under the scrutiny of CPS for over a decade!
Has anyone picked up on the fact that the OP is a vegan? That is such a restricted diet, it could be affecting both her and her breast milk, thus affecting the child.
Oh, also, the daycare/nanny/mother's helper thing:
In my area, the childcare you're looking for (immediate, short-term, part time, out of your home) would be called a "Mother's Morning Out" program. Usually operated out of a church or the YMCA, some are available 5 days a week, some just 2, some you pay "tuition" for the whole month, some you make "reservations" a week in advance, and some are "drop in." And most are quite affordable. If you belong to a gym or church, you may have one on site. If not, you might be able to find something like that nearby.
If call BS! A doctor cannot write an RX for someone who is not their patient, regardless of their relationship otherwise. You must be an established patient of record before any md will prescribe anything.
If such a scenario did happen, the doctor you appealed to would tell you to go to the ER. Besides, there's no short-term med that will "hold you over" or someone in a mental health crisis. Most AD drugs take 1-2 weeks to kick in.
A lot here on this thread is pure fantasizing. Certain issues, such as parenting, mental health, and general health act as a trigger for others to "get in on the act". It was such fantasizing and projecting that placed my family under the scrutiny of CPS for over a decade!
Has anyone picked up on the fact that the OP is a vegan? That is such a restricted diet, it could be affecting both her and her breast milk, thus affecting the child.
Au contraire, with a very few exceptions, any doctor can write a prescription for anyone. I already explained this.
I'm not sure I saw this suggested previously, but I may have missed it.
You might consider keeping a food diary for a couple of weeks for both mom & baby. Then check the diary for those nights where he wakes up screaming. That might highlight a common item that might be bothering him. If you find something, then you can try eliminating it to see if it helps.
As for not being upset during the day - if he does have reflux, it may not bother him while he's upright and mobile. It might only bother him while he's laying down for sleep.
Has anyone picked up on the fact that the OP is a vegan? That is such a restricted diet, it could be affecting both her and her breast milk, thus affecting the child.
I was going to comment on that, but was afraid I would get flamed. Of course, it's possible to have a well-rounded vegan diet with plenty of protein, good fats, B vitamins, and so forth, but it takes some doing. If the OP's wife has been struggling with a fussy, high-needs baby and her own lack of sleep for the past 10 months, she may not have been paying enough attention to her diet, and her nutrition (and the baby's) could be lacking.
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