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I should have made my point clear and I apologize. My son is a police officer, and every year, in his department, they have to take refresher courses. last year he chose a behavior course. He sees all the time, children in homes with one parent, the parent has to work the kid is basically home alone all day...
What I think I was referring to, was, the fact, that if a child is born, say a newborn, and isn't held alot, it was proven that the child will have severe problems getting along in the world. It leaves a lasting impression, plus being raised in a single parent home.
Now of course, this doesn't hold true for everyone 100%.
Also, when we grow older, we have less tolerance especially children, whining and making noise.
I can see where your kids had a lot of pent up energy, however, I can also see where it must have irritated the two old women.
I believe in both cases, we need to have a lot more tolerance for each other?
Lets say, if no one else would have been in that restaurant, I would say, go ahead, push the high chair, but there was, and you don't know what they've been thru or where they've been. Maybe they drove a long way to and wanted to eat in peace and quiet....I don't know....I can't say....but what I'm saying is, maybe we could all consider each other a tad more when we're out in public.?
Including myself?
all it is, is a difference of opinion and rules....your home, your rules, in public, we need to teach children that there may very well be a different set of rules to follow?
What do you think? and I'm not saying your wrong....
what on earth does this have to do with being a single parent? Do you think single parents go work and leave infants home alone? Or that in married couples, both parents stay home so they can both hold the baby?
Working parents have childcare. Some people have crappy childcare, but then again, plenty of people are crappy parents, and that includes the married ones.
emm74 what on earth does this have to do with being a single parent? Do you think single parents go work and leave infants home alone? Or that in married couples, both parents stay home so they can both hold the baby?
It is an example of how and why some kids turn to crime, and yes, some parents leave their kids home alone...or have crappy child care, b/c there is no where else to turn. Hence, leading to a life of crime.
I was left alone and the product of a single parent...she had to work 3 jobs to keep us fed. A neighbor downstairs kept an ear open for me, however, I was there in our apartment alone. Do you honestly believe that kids aren't left alone in this day and age. They are....
also, in the course he took, it said, that newborns, when not held a lot, have Psychological problems.
It is an example of how and why some kids turn to crime, and yes, some parents leave their kids home alone...or have crappy child care, b/c there is no where else to turn. Hence, leading to a life of crime.
I was left alone and the product of a single parent...she had to work 3 jobs to keep us fed. A neighbor downstairs kept an ear open for me, however, I was there in our apartment alone. Do you honestly believe that kids aren't left alone in this day and age. They are....
also, in the course he took, it said, that newborns, when not held a lot, have Psychological problems.
That's the exact same thing I've been thinking with every post you've made here.
As I said before, the poll results show that at least the decent people, who understand how to raise children properly, are still in the majority.
If you're in the minority here, you should think about why.
Simple courtesy is being lost in this country, and the people who are making all sorts of excuses as to why the complaining couple are in the wrong are the reason for it.
That's the exact same thing I've been thinking with every post you've made here.
As I said before, the poll results show that at least the decent people, who understand how to raise children properly, are still in the majority.
If you're in the minority here, you should think about why.
Simple courtesy is being lost in this country, and the people who are making all sorts of excuses as to why the complaining couple are in the wrong are the reason for it.
I'm a good parent. My kids are not hellions. They are also not church mice. I believe the appropriateness of kids at a place varies greatly depending on age, time of day, and then venue itself.
My 'wow' is when posters take the original story about a fussy 10-month old baby in a loud restaurant and turn it into a diatribe about the downfall of humanity, wrapped up in smarmy generational judging and finger-wagging. It's tiresome and IMHO says more about the poster than the story they're commenting on.
Let me put it this way, you take the SAME story, but change the venue to a wedding or a late-night dinner at a foodie joint and I would be responding much differently. I think what's sad (and 'wow') is that some responders here are so blinded by their negative view of society that they can't make or recognize a range of situations and solutions. Maybe they're not blinded...maybe they're just too busy patting themselves on the back.
Um, you could also question why a parent would bring any child (unless specifically invited) to a wedding. If the child acts up at a venue like that, that's a double slam on the parents.
I understand both sides. I have nephews and family/friends with new baby. I know how desperately the parents want to get out and live normal life. but I too get irritated when I am at restaurant and there is a screaming kid. I wonder to myself "gosh there comes a headache, why didn't these parents take out & have meal in their house". Is waiting a year or 2 to have proper sit down meal in restaurant that long to wait, just do take outs or find a baby sitter at home while you go out to enjoy. But from the parents I know, it is hard to leave your kid with sitter just to enjoy meal & it is hard to control them.
When my kids were that young a few years ago, we never took them anywhere that was not a loud family restaurant. I get embarrassed as hell when my kids make noise, even today and always remove them or shut them up. I am not going to subject others to listen to my kids, so, to answer your question, yes, I had no problem waiting a few years to go anywhere decent in public to eat out. Kids do not be long in fancy or nice restaurants if they are going to whine, cry out make loud noises.
Before I had kids, I wouldn't be bothered by a screaming 10 month old in a loud family restaurant. If I was, I'd ask the server to be moved, not deliver a passive-aggressive note to try to ruin another diner's time like a total d*ckhead.
Those ladies had less tact than the mom and child. They are the ones who need to grow up.
When my kids were that young a few years ago, we never took them anywhere that was not a loud family restaurant. I get embarrassed as hell when my kids make noise, even today and always remove them or shut them up. I am not going to subject others to listen to my kids, so, to answer your question, yes, I had no problem waiting a few years to go anywhere decent in public to eat out. Kids do not be long in fancy or nice restaurants if they are going to whine, cry out make loud noises.
I remember my husband and I had been working around the house and went out to eat late, it was after 9 pm, to Ruby Tuesdays, because it was open. It was empty. We sat down and ordered our meal. Then a young family came in with a baby and two other kids under 5. We balked. But the parents were brilliantly attentive to their kids. The two older ones were almost too quiet, we were almost worried there was something wrong. There wasn't. It was a happy group of children with attentive parents and boundaries. Great stuff! After we finished we commended them on how well behaved their kids are and that it was appreciated. They said really? They are this way at home, too. They could not believe we said something positive about young kids in a restaurant, but they appreciated it. We shook hands.
It can help to commend parents who are doing a good job. Especially if only one parent. Kids scream for attention. Early on, it is for basic needs like feeding, wet diapers, tired. Later in it is for emotional, respectful, fair, not abusive, attention. These kids could not run around. They were not afraid of their parents, they just knew their boundaries.
I wish there was more of this. Having said that I am the first one to say something when parents are ignoring their kids in public. The kids don't care where they are, so get a sitter. And don't bring so many kids out that you can't manage. Be realistic. Even in a loud, family friendly place, kids running around and screaming are a hazard to workers who are carrying hot food and breakable items. Pay a babysitter to come out to eat with you so you can manage if you don't want to leave them or are trying to teach them. Also, bring coloring books, toys, or other things for them to do if they are expected to sit in one place for very long.
A couple years ago I was having dinner at Olive Garden with my elderly parents and two others. The next booth had two young moms with four kids under 6 or 7. The moms were drinking wine and ignoring the kids. They were playing and fighting with each other. They were claiming all over the booth. When we sat down I could see what would go wrong here and we finally moved. The restaurant did nothing because they were making money selling wine, not kids meals.
Another time we had driven 800 miles and stopped at the only open restaurant in town in the middle of Wyoming at 9 pm. A family with a screaming kid came in the door, wth the kid screaming. They were seated at a table right next to us when there was an entire vacant restaurant and plenty of space. We left. There was no patience left in us for that.
Also, families are usually more labor intensive for restaurants and spend little. They request lots of extras. When I was waiting tables I ran around for extras like fruit juice, bibs, high chairs, booster seats, cleaning up spills, etc. Tios were not reflective of the extra work required for servers. Restaurants get fed up.
I think it is worse now than it used to be. People in general are less patient and less considerate of others. Crying babies are also a nuisance in church, weddings, and other public events, but there is less room for choice there. There needs to be good judgment on where kids are expected to cope. Day cares, baby sitters, and other child care and just plain attentiveness were invented for a reason. Parents are responsible for their kids and diners are responsible for choices on where to dine. Balance.
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