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Hello. I have two children ages 4 and 5 who's behavior is getting massively out if hand. Every night, they leave their room and raid the fridge, cupboards and anything they see. They then proceed to take food items or anything they can touch. The general items they steal and hide even though it is things like pens, lip chap, sponges. Nothing I would notice quickly or likely miss for a long time. The food items are the much more distressing, confusing and frustrating matter. Everything they take, they simply destroy it by ripping, crushing ect. And then throw it in the garbage. They do not actually eat anything they take or hide it elsewhere. They take everything from produce to meat left in the fridge to thaw to pankake mix. If the garbage is made unavailable, they simply just scatter the pieces all over the kitchen. In the past week they have done this to over $150 of food. I do not have the money to continually replace what they take so this is becoming a serious problem. I have tried everything I can think of from talking to them, time outs, making them clean the mess. I installed locks on the fridge and cupbords, they broke handles off or figured out the trick to opening the latch. I set up alarms and booby traps to wake me, they found the locations and didnt set them off. I blocked doorways, they climbed over. No height or place is safe no matter what I do. I am at my wits end and have no clue what else to try. Nothing I do stops them or makes it worse... it just happens. Took them to see every doctor and therapist I could and every time they are deemed healthy, normal children. They also have this behaviour when over at others house for the night (other parent, friends ect.) Does the community here have any suggestions?
I have seen pediatricians, family doctors, behavioral specialists, general therapists, child psychologists even home visiting workers. This gas been going on for about a year off and on. Every time with everyone the kids tell the person what they think they want to hear.
The family situation is the best I can make it. I am a single mom, (separated when youngest was 2 months) and most days we have fun, and are very close. During the light of day, they are angels and super helpful.
If it helps, through my own investigating ( hidden cameras) I found out my daughter (the 4 year old ) is the ring leader and starts the behaviour.
This is not normal behavior. The only thing you can do is lock the stuff up where they can't reach it. I wouldn't even be past locking them in their rooms at night, so long as they have access to a potty chair if they have to go to the bathroom.
Any history of mental illness on either side of the family?
Also if you do catch them doing stuff like that, make them clean it up. They need to make the association between "I've made a mess" and "if I make a mess, I have to clean it up." Most kids HATE cleaning up, they have to stop whatever fun activity they're doing to go clean up a mess. This might be encouragement not to do that.
Also try reward charts. Many kids are motivated by rewards, they can earn a sticker for every day they don't do the stealing/messing, after a week they get a special treat (trip to McDonald's or a small toy, etc).
I already have locked everything up but they still can break in. A lock, chain, catch, or anything is little more than something to slow them down for a min or two. Locking them in their room doesn't work either as I already have a chain, knob lock on their door... they figured out how to remove the chain and pulled the door and broke the door frame to open the door. The hardest part is without the obvious evidence (food in the garbage, broken doors, locks) noone believes me. They are perfect children during the day. Like seriously I'm so proud of how mature they act during the day. They are smart and can manipulate anyone into believing anything they want though... at night it is like they become possessed or something and all hell breaks loose
As for making them clean it up, I already do that... but it isn't much of a punishment since they love to clean, sweep, help with dishes.
Reward charts failed epically as they thought it a joke.
Sorry for seeming to shoot down every idea... like I said in op I have tried everything I could think of over the past year... I am completely out of ideas
Have you considered an exorcism? Hand cuffing them to their beds or a radiator?
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