10yr old afraid of being alone. (ideas, support, parents, son)

[Capt. Cave Man]

Our daughter gets so scared to sleep by herself, I think she worries about ghosts. It has gotten really bad in the last 3months or so. She will come into our bedroom shaking from being so scared. We changed her room so nothing in there has "eyes". We've done the whole "look under the bed and everywhere" to show her there is nothing that can get her.

I don't know if she saw a movie at a friends house or what. We don't watch ANYTHING scary as we know this could bother both our kids, heck some of these movies would bother me!

One of her friends is also like this, gets scared easily.

Is this a "phase"? Our son didn't have this problem, but they are both very different from each other.

Problem is that she is old enough that the "ghost spray bottle" won't work, but it may help.

Any ideas? All help appreciated.

[Mainer61]

She will eventually grow out of it, just be patient. Keep checking under the bed, etc. (Sometimes I do that myself !) Would a nightlight help? Does she leave her door open? I remember I used to be watching TV by myself and I'd yell "Mom". When she said, "what?" I'd say, 'nothing.' ahahah That must have driven her nuts, but I just needed to know she was in the next room.

[fierce_flawless]

I've noticed this sort of thing with both of my kids around age 10, both boys.

The oldest got really freaked out and full of separation anxiety right after 9/11. It got bad, the school would call me because he would be distracted and anxious and would tell them "I NEED to call my mom".... and he would give me all sorts of trouble going to school. Turns out he was more worried about me than fearful for himself. All the news and media about 9/11 had him convinced something bad was going to happen to me while he was at school, or something bad would happen that would force him to be confined to school with me unable to get to him (the school was 30 minutes from the house)...

It took a lot of reassurance, but he got through it in a a few months. He still remembers that period though (he's 16 now)!

My youngest got it in his head that someone was going to come break in through his window, which is on the side of our front porch. He would wake up and come tell me he'd heard a noise out there, ALL the time... drove us nuts but he was convinced. So, we tried letting the dog sleep in there with him (she's a big black Lab, normally sleeps in our room) but that didn't work as she would only stay in there half the night then bark to come out. Now he sleeps with his door open a bit, and we've moved some stuff around so he has bookshelves completely covering the window in question... it's like it's not even there, and that's helped him a lot. He still has 2 other windows in the room but they are high up off the ground and don't worry him.

I'm sorry I don't have a better solution but I did want to let you know that both my kids had some fear / separation issues around age 10. Is there something else that has happened recently, something that MAY at first seem unrelated but could be the cause of her fears? With my son and the 9/11 thing, he really couldn't articulate his fears to me at first and I never would have imagine that was his concern until he was able to tell me. He felt "silly" so it took a while for him to talk about it.

[TouchOfWhimsy]

My son is 7 and is going through this... I have heard from friends that it is a phase. When kids start to realize that the world is not a totally safe place and that their parents are not able to save them from every bad thing that can happen, their imaginations go wild for a while.

I hope for your sake and mine that this phase passes quickly! I also hope that my son is getting this over with now and it won't recur when he's 10!

[Capt. Cave Man]

had to edit, not important anyway.

[movingtohouston]

I think it might be a phase that all kids go through. My 11 year old is going through it right now. He is totally freaked out that burglars or murderers are going to break in and get us. Don't know why, or where this came from but its there. He is fanactical about locking windows and doors every night. Nothing has changed, been here in the same house for over two years so not sure what is going on.

We just try to be logical with him and support him. Hopefully this passes soon. My husband has to start traveling for work again and I don't need a basket case while he is gone.

[drjones96]

Our 10 yr old (F) likes to watch scary movies. Then she's so freaked out she can't sleep.

Seperately she doesn't want her room to have windows because she's afraid someone will break in. Either she doesn't want windows or she wants to sleep with her sister (who's only 4). Which is amazing because normally she can't stand her. So I guess of having someone break into her window and sleeping with her kid sister the later is the lesser of the two evils.

I know it's a phase. So I'm not making a big thing about it.

[Miborn]

Hey could get her a puppy? Maybe that would help make her at ease to have her own little protector around.

[findinghope]

i was terrified every night--every night for as long as i can remember.
first i thought my parents were going to go out while i was asleep ( i was only 2-3) then i thought i saw things in the shadow. then i thought etc etc.
i know this may sound stupid, but one thing that helped was reading something silly and funny right before i went to sleep.
i would get into bed and read a short silly childrens book, and it put me in a calmer mood, and also reading helped me fall asleep.

[arguy1973]

set the timer on the tv, leave it on, works like a charm. if they wake up , they can always turn it back on.