Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
A lot of parents DESERVE to be bashed. No one likes an out of control, undisciplined child. We all see it every day, parents who want to be friends with their kids, not parents. When mine were little, I was like a hawk, making sure they were doing what they were supposed to be doing, not causing problems.
I think the OP is correct and did the right things. One time I had a customer I was waiting on, and his little girl was tearing up the store as we talked. He was totally oblivious to it all. Finally, I couldn't take it any more, and said to him "I really feel sorry for you, Bud." When he asked why, I said "Because when she turns 16 you are going to have no control over her at all." He got the message and left the store, not happy. But it sure felt good to tell him.
My first thought was that five and a half hours was far too long a visit for children that age. At the minimum there should have been outdoor, movement activities scheduled for the middle of that time. A game of touch football, walking around the neighborhood looking at the Christmas lights, playing catch or basketball supervised by one or more adults. Heck, I'm a grown adult and I can't "sit politely" at the dinner table and then on the couch for that many hours without being antsy and needing to move.
Also, you may want to email your rules to relative in advance, in addition, to verbally telling everyone your rules at the time such as "No food in the living room", "If you get up from the dinner table it means that you are done eating and can not return".
Also, there is no way in hell I would ever allow a 9 year old to pour hot coffee in my home. She could have easily gotten burned or cut on the broken coffee pot or dropped her coffee on the baby and then you would be liable for the injuries. Now, a HS student is responsible enough to be careful but a 4th grader? Heck, no. You are lucky that nothing more serious did not happen.
Were there other relatives there and family members?
I don't think that I would have handled any better.
It truly sounds like these children's parents are negligent in controlling these children, especially given they were company in your home. I will add, that is a long time for hyper kids to be on their best behavior....too long evidently for these 2.
But, having a child grabbing a coffee pot is not something that should ever be allowed, the parent certainly should have intervened. Jumping around on furniture certainly isn't allowed in most homes. With two parents there with them, the parents obviously weren't on top of things. That is who I would be disgusted with if it were me.
I don't think that you should feel badly. What I actually think is that you shouldn't host them at your home next year. And, personally.....I do not feel it is your obligation to host distant relatives....let G.Ma and G.Pa do the self sacrificing.
I think it would be better to bring some treats and go to their home, so that you can leave when you want to.
Failing that, perhaps you should have a talk with their parents before hosting them again about what sorts of behaviors are off limits.
ETA: I saw your post about your work schedule. Why in the world would you take on hosting this type gathering with that busy work schedule?? Rethink this for next year.
ETA....I don't consider this parent bashing...I raised 5, and believe me, if my kids had been being that unruly I would have made my excuses and we would have gone home. But, not before apologies were made to our host.
Last edited by JanND; 12-25-2017 at 09:34 AM..
Reason: edit text
I agree that it's a parent's job to keep their kids in check. However, I have noticed a phenomenon, with my bro- and sis-in-law, where it's like they clock out when they are at a family gathering with their parents present.
It's as if they believe the grandparents should be in charge, so they don't bother with disciplining the kids. The problem is that they don't actually make it official; they just sit there and don't do anything, so the grandparents are hesitant to step in and correct the kid, and so are the aunts and uncles.
It's just part of family gatherings, OP. Kids don't act like adults.
Merry Christmas to all the parents, aunts,uncles and grandparents who have raised children and survived and still love for them and their children,nieces, nephews to come visit on Christmas Eve.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
