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We typically go by whoever does the inviting. We pay if we invite my mom somwhere, and she'll pay if she invites us out. If its the entire family going out for a holiday or birthday celebration, then my parents pay. My dad usually only goes out for holidays/big celebrations, but on the rare occasion he's with us we usually pay for our own meals. Unless its just me and my parents, then they typically always pay.
I think its the same when they go out with my siblings, but it's not something we've ever really talked about.
We have two grown children in their mid-twenties with spouses (no kids of their own) all fully employed with decent salaries and little debt. My wife always insists that we (the parents) should foot the bill when we go out to eat. We are looking at retiring in less than ten years and I think it’s about time we all go Dutch. She’s having a really hard time letting go of this practice. I say the kids are adults and need to add this going dutch habit to their “adulting” practice.
Feedback?
Yes, if they have good incomes and little debt, they should now be paying your restaurant tab, not the opposite.
We have two grown children in their mid-twenties with spouses (no kids of their own) all fully employed with decent salaries and little debt. My wife always insists that we (the parents) should foot the bill when we go out to eat. We are looking at retiring in less than ten years and I think it’s about time we all go Dutch. She’s having a really hard time letting go of this practice. I say the kids are adults and need to add this going dutch habit to their “adulting” practice.
Feedback?
It depends upon who is inviting the others for dinner. When we invite we pay.
Perhaps you should personally plan, the next dinner out and tell your kids when you call that it is Dutch treat.
Our parents always pay even though we’re in our late 30s/early 50s with well paying jobs. They won’t give it up so we stopped arguing it. But they both retired well off and have the means to do so and it’s a matter of pride for them I think. When we are able to slyly get the check it turns into a big deal where they freak out.
We’ll probably do the same assuming we’re able to.
Our parents always pay even though we’re in our late 30s/early 50s with well paying jobs. They won’t give it up so we stopped arguing it. But they both retired well off and have the means to do so and it’s a matter of pride for them I think. When we are able to slyly get the check it turns into a big deal where they freak out.
We’ll probably do the same assuming we’re able to.
Same in my family. When my father was alive, he took care of everyone at the table...family or not. My mother still takes care of all of us when we go out, but, lately, I've been trying to sneak the tab and treat her.
I'm on the other end of the conversation. I have kids but they aren't of age to pay. I still have my parents and they used to exclusively pay for me until I probably got my first career job when I was 22. After that, they'd do it as a treat. Sometimes they would, sometimes they wouldn't. Even now, if they come to visit, my father will outright say "we want to treat you to dinner." And when they are in my house, I cook them dinner. Sometimes I take them out to dinner.
I never felt it was awkward when we transitioned from "parents pay all the time" to "I'm expected to pay, but sometimes we treat each other to dinner." If anything, I remember surprising them with treating them to dinner. It was probably a proud moment for everyone involved.
I pay for mine because she is a student even though she is 26. She has supported herself, however, since she got her Bachelors' degrees four years ago, so I don't mind treating her. She lives frugally.
Many of the post don't seem to understand that deference to your folks if they decide to pay for a meal is simply respect for your parents wishes. No one can buy your respect. It must be freely given when you love someone .....like your folks.
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