Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I did. Especially the second one who was uncontrollable and autistic. For his safety and my sanity. All of my kids are in their 30's now.
Also, being a Military family, it was left to me many times to get them where they needed to go. Or me. Or us. So using a harness was vital at times.
I had a grandson who could outrun and outsmart all of us by age 2. His dad wouldn't even allow a stroller. When the kid almost ran into the street in Manhattan, that changed.
Many kids who would wander or run away are not old enough to understand being told to stay close.
Letting me hold their hand for a hour? In my dreams. I'd issue a leash with the birth certificate. Some kids need it, some don't.
I don't get why anyone has a problem with using a harness and leash with a toddler. The one thing I hear old people (in my age range but way less tolerant of kids for whatever bizarre reason) complaining about over and over again is going to the grocery where "there are kids running WILD ALL OVER THE PLACE, they might run into me and KNOCK ME DOWN, it is SO DANGEROUS"
I don't know what grocery they are going to - must be the one named "The Wild Thing Grocery For Uncontrollable Children" I rarely see kids running rampant ANYWHERE in public.
Anyway. One way to NOT have that situation in reality is to keep your toddler or impulsive child in a harness on a leash. My mother used that with us when I was a kid because she had 2 children only 18 months apart. They didn't have double strollers back then, and we were both too big for strollers anyway. He was big for his age, I was small for mine, everyone thought we were twins for years.
As an adult I used a harness and leash with my son when he was old enough to toddle around safely, like 2 and 3. By the time he was 4 he could be trusted not to go running off without me. If he hadn't been trustworthy in that regard by then, we'd have used the harness/leash longer.
That way he couldn't ACTUALLY run off and get into trouble.
He wouldn't be ACCUSED of POTENTIALLY running off and causing trouble.
He was safe from being snatched - whose going to try to snatch a kid on a leash?
He was safe from accidentally getting in the way or stepping into traffic in a parking lot or ... just all around, he was safer and so was every old person hobbling by on a cane or zipping by in a motorized cart.
I swear you can't win for losing. Either they're all up in arms because "KIDS RUNNING WILD DANGER DANGER DANGER" or they're upset that you've addressed that situation.
I'm pushing 60 and I cannot believe how anti-child our society has become. I'm fine with kids playing normal kid ways and making normal kid noises. I have much younger friends who are constantly sniping everytime they see a kid in public. They will come RIGHT OUT AND SAY that kids should not be in public places. Such as family restaurants. Just regular sit down restaurants, not Michelin rated fancy joints. These people seem to think that people with kids are only allowed to go to McDonalds if they have kids with them, and really that kids should never accompany their parents ANYWHERE.
I just hope they never have kids because if they behave the way they say OTHER parents should behave, they won't be spending any time at all with their kids, who will be confined to the house at all times.
Look, I don't have kids. But I never understood the problem with keeping a kid on a long leash while out and about - it seems like a point of safety and also allowing the child to be active and the parent to have their hands free.
But then what I have had all my life were dogs - NOT the same thing, but growing up with a kennel full of hunting dogs taught me just how many things can go wrong if you look away, even with the most trusted and well-behaved dog. A kid is so much more important than a dog - if someone feels they need a leash to keep their kid happy and safe and themselves sane, why on EARTH would anyone judge them for that?
I have severe ADD. You can be damn sure if I'd had kids, a leash would have been an option.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 9 days ago)
35,634 posts, read 17,975,706 times
Reputation: 50664
Interesting thread.
As Americans, we have a bizarre culture. People who go out in public with their dogs off leash are considered irresponsible by the dog community, because they're endangering their dogs, but parents are frowned upon if they put harnesses on their kids, by the parent community.
Honestly, I really wish I'd thought of doing that when my kids were little. I had two right in a row and it was HARD to keep up with them.
Here's what I've learned. As a parent. If you did something HARDER, and other parents did something EASIER, and didn't suffer for it, you're angry. Because you did something harder that seems like unnecessary effort.
For example, parents who refused to use pacifiers, parents who refused to use baby walkers, parents who didn't feed their kids junk food, mothers who breastfed, are irritated at those who used pacifiers, walkers and junk food and formula fed their infants. Because they took the easier route and didn't suffer punishment for their easier decisions. Such is life.
Because yeah. It's really irritating if you think doing a harder thing is the best thing, and then others who didn't do that and had an easier life and were successful with their kids.
In addition to the leash, I also pick up my kids poop with a bag that I carry in my pocket. I get so many stares and judgemental comments. I just don't get it, people are so judgy. Like do they just leave the poop? Geez.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 9 days ago)
35,634 posts, read 17,975,706 times
Reputation: 50664
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lodestar
My MIL birthed seven very active boys on a hog farm and that was in the day when the hogs weren't in cages but roamed free behind wooden fences very easy to climb for young boys. Then there was the deep watering tank for the couple of cows and the team of horses. The huge garbage pit in the grove. Also the corn field.
She lived in fear of a young child wandering into the corn field. Doesn't sound so dangerous if you've never been in one but if a child got lost and went in circles he could die from the heat and humidity before a single woman or even a pair of people could find him.
I know that she tied her infants into their cribs with a dishtowel on laundry days and at least one toddler spent a lot of time in a hollow stump near the clothesline in place of a playpen.
I've often laughed and said to DH, "Do you realize that your parents would have been considered abusive in today's culture?"
How interesting, Lodestar. Playpens, themselves, were considered very lazy parenting when I had my kids, in the 90's. My generation, born in the 60's, spent a significant amount of time in playpens as babies with a few toys while mother talked to the baby(ies) in passing while she did her work - cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc. and the children were expected to amuse themselves for hours in a little cage.
This was ABSOLUTELY TABOO when I had my kids. Because yeah, that's easy on the Mom. Someone was expected to supervise them 24/7 while they were free to wander about. Which is in fact how I raised my kids. I don't think you could have purchased a "playpen" at Target, Toys R US, Walmart, etc., in the 90's.
How interesting, Lodestar. Playpens, themselves, were considered very lazy parenting when I had my kids, in the 90's. My generation, born in the 60's, spent a significant amount of time in playpens as babies with a few toys while mother talked to the baby(ies) in passing while she did her work - cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc. and the children were expected to amuse themselves for hours in a little cage.
This was ABSOLUTELY TABOO when I had my kids. Because yeah, that's easy on the Mom. Someone was expected to supervise them 24/7 while they were free to wander about. Which is in fact how I raised my kids. I don't think you could have purchased a "playpen" at Target, Toys R US, Walmart, etc., in the 90's.
Playpens and gates. That's how we grew up in the 60s-70s.
Now do people only use gates for dogs? I can't believe playpens aren't a thing anymore. My parents would bring one to the beach - it had mesh sides and they would shade the top of it so we wouldn't burn to a crisp. I'm sure it made their day more enjoyable. They had 3 of us in 6 years so there was a good chunk of time they really had to keep their eyes on more than one of us!
I also used to take off on my mom while shopping. I'd just find someone I thought was interesting and sit and talk to them. I think that's why my next sibling got the leash lol - she wasn't going through *that* again!
How interesting, Lodestar. Playpens, themselves, were considered very lazy parenting when I had my kids, in the 90's. My generation, born in the 60's, spent a significant amount of time in playpens as babies with a few toys while mother talked to the baby(ies) in passing while she did her work - cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc. and the children were expected to amuse themselves for hours in a little cage.
This was ABSOLUTELY TABOO when I had my kids. Because yeah, that's easy on the Mom. Someone was expected to supervise them 24/7 while they were free to wander about. Which is in fact how I raised my kids. I don't think you could have purchased a "playpen" at Target, Toys R US, Walmart, etc., in the 90's.
My grandparents built a chicken wire cage to keep my cousins and I contained. They later denied it but we found photographic evidence and spent the rest of my grandmother's life teasing her about it. Honestly, I didn't see anything wrong with it - we were in earshot and view of the house and there was no danger. We got to be outside and weren't underfoot. They called it our clubhouse, LOL.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
