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Currently like in Massachusetts and will be relocating to dallas for the first time.Back in Massachusetts am a stay at home mom.I dont work even though I have a out 12 thousand dollars saved up.My spouse is an anaesthesiologist who will never leave massachusettes. He loves his job and makes a lot of money here this has chosen to stay put.I have had it living in MA .And want to move asap.We are not getting a divorce but I cant stand it in Massachusetts and he won't move so we agreed to live separately to be happy.My reason for joining this website is because I have a lot of questions I need to ask.What are the safe areas in dallas..what are the best schools and how fast can I find a job ..I'd love it of someone could answer my question. Also how will I rent when I have no paystubs but a ton of cash am bringing with me.please help as I need to know this before I take the leap and move.Thanks
Roma
So you are going to rip your kids away from their father and move them several thousand miles away from him.
YOU may be happy, but your husband and kids are going to be devastated by being forced to live apart from each other. You are an extremely selfish person.
So you are going to rip your kids away from their father and move them several thousand miles away from him.
YOU may be happy, but your husband and kids are going to be devastated by being forced to live apart from each other. You are an extremely selfish person.
This 1000x. When you have children life stops just being about you and what you want. Your children's needs come first now and that includes having their father in their lives on a regular basis. Get some counseling and look into learning how to be happy where you are.
I hated MA the first time I lived there, but then I lived in some other places, and now I live there again and I like it a whole lot.
There's a lot of information missing from his post. This just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen, moving thousands of miles away from a spouse and parent with three young children, to an unknown place. It seems very odd that a father would willingly pay for all the expenses for a move like this, especially for the long term future.
I also thought perhaps English was not your first language, and it wasn't just for typos. It was because of the phrasing and sentence structure.
Something is way off here. I don't know what pieces of information have been omitted, but they have got to be some doozies.
Isn't there someplace else you can go where you do have some kind of support system and familiarity? Anyplace where you have previously worked? Someplace where you have friends or family? Are you going to be a stay at home mom in Dallas?
I left my beloved Chicago to live with my husband, in some cities that I really did not care for. But in each of those places I have found things to like about them, found friends, found activities that were meaningful. (Although with 3 kids, including an infant, I don't know how there is a lot of time for self fulfillment.) Could there be another way? Even, perhaps, going on some vacations, even if they are not with the husband, during the coldest time of year? The kids aren't yet in school -- maybe go to Florida for the month of January or something. Seems like that would be less expensive than renting an entire home for the rest of time. Even when they are in school, MA has a February break. At least through elementary school, they could be taken out of school for an extra week -- two weeks someplace warm in February goes a long way toward alleviating winter blahs. And there's another break in April, so you could go away twice.
So you are going to rip your kids away from their father and move them several thousand miles away from him.
YOU may be happy, but your husband and kids are going to be devastated by being forced to live apart from each other. You are an extremely selfish person.
So this page is filled with hateful people .Sad.
You dont know me personally so calling me selfish is very funny. To answer your question my spouse agreed on the move even though he doesnt like the idea.Hes going to come and see us every other weekend .Enough said.I regret even asking for help. Most of you guys here are not helpful ..but a bunch of meanies.goodday
What do you think is going to happen to your marriage if you move? Divorce!
You'd better look into if changing your state of residence impacts you in a divorce. Iirc, Massachusetts is much more favorable to the wife than Texas.
Dallas already has too many transient drifters and honestly, most of the local people get tired of them. You still haven't explained why you want to move to Dallas.
I had a friend who up and moved to Hawaii without finding a job first. She didn't even know anyone there. She wound up in a number of bad situations. It was not a mature decision for her to make, to move somewhere with no real plan.
LOL @ transient drifters, Ive seen you on some other post discouraging others from "wasting their time" with Texas, Yes your being honest, but it honestly sounds like YOU dont like people moving to Texas , not everyone else.
This 1000x. When you have children life stops just being about you and what you want. Your children's needs come first now and that includes having their father in their lives on a regular basis. Get some counseling and look into learning how to be happy where you are.
Exactly.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roma1
So this page is filled with hateful people .Sad.
You dont know me personally so calling me selfish is very funny. To answer your question my spouse agreed on the move even though he doesnt like the idea.Hes going to come and see us every other weekend.
OP, your posts tell me everything I need to know about you. And not just me. You put this post in the PARENTING forum, so naturally we are going to look at the situation from your KIDS' point of view, not yours. When you became a wife and then a mother, you gave up the "right" to make your life all about yourself and what you think you need. I take it you didn't say "I take this man for better, for worse" when you got married. There is no more "he" and "she" after marriage, just "we." You want to move halfway across the country and remake your life, you should have stayed single.
If your husband is smart, he'll divorce you for abandonment. Even if he doesn't, don't be surprised if he ends up with a side piece when sleeping by himself gets too lonely. He is agreeing with this now, but give it 6 months to a year and we'll see if he still feels the same. Not to mention, those travel expenses every other weekend are going to add up big time. Better the two of you STAY TOGETHER and that money gets put into savings for college or other expenses down the road.
Oh, and BTW, a Bachelor's Degree doesn't get you squat when it comes to a well-paying job these days. Business Administration degrees are a dime a dozen.
You dont know me personally so calling me selfish is very funny. To answer your question my spouse agreed on the move even though he doesnt like the idea.Hes going to come and see us every other weekend .Enough said.I regret even asking for help. Most of you guys here are not helpful ..but a bunch of meanies.goodday
It's hard for us to get invested in the needs of first-time poster.
You have to admit that what you are proposing is unconventional and goes against many commonly held American values, so of course we can't readily wrap our brains around the concept.
I don't know how you expected us to help. Maybe you could be more specific.
You dont know me personally so calling me selfish is very funny. To answer your question my spouse agreed on the move even though he doesnt like the idea.Hes going to come and see us every other weekend .Enough said.I regret even asking for help. Most of you guys here are not helpful ..but a bunch of meanies.goodday
Just because he agreed to do it doesn't mean he will continue to agree to it in perpetuity. Living apart often causes people to grow apart and this is going to significantly increase the chances of divorce -- doesn't mean automatically you will get divorced, but this ups the odds.
Traveling over weekends to see family gets real old pretty fast. I've done it, and it gets grueling after a while. Especially when it is a long distance, and especially when there are going to be times when, for example, weather gets in the way. Dallas gets ice in winter, and DFW-BOS flights will often be delayed or cancelled. That's no fun when the trip is only for a weekend.
You indicate he is not happy about the idea. I don't see how he will get any happier about it as time goes on.
I think many on here are not giving thoughts just to be mean, but to point out some of the realities. These are exactly the things I'd point out to a good friend if asked.
I won't be answering any more questions. Am done.Thanks to all who answered politely. I asked a simple question,yet almost everyone wants an in depth explanation.i didn't ask for advice.
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