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My kids worked 10-15 hours/week starting the summer before freshman year of high school at the admissions or snack counter at the local pool. Once they turned 15 they got their lifeguard certification and put that to good use.
We found that the key was to make sure their days had structure. In other words, they had some sort of structured obligation for a minimum of three hours every weekday- that mainly came in the form of work, sports practice/camp/training, or volunteering. That left them with plenty of time to relax, knock around with friends, etc. We realized pretty quickly that the “parents leave for work and kids are at home with an entire day in front of them” thing wasn’t going to work out.
Just looking around my area and it looks like most teenagers/young adults are out partying it up during the summer or are preparing to do that abroad.
Mine went to camp and/or worked or volunteered. Idle hands are the devil's workshop (I'm atheist, but like xtians, I can pick and choose what applies!)
Is your contention that we're being deceitful, nobodysbusiness? I know where my kids are because I'm a SAHM. When my daughter isn't working full-time at a local business, she's typically at home. We spend a lot time together because we're very close, and her friends spend time here, too, mostly cooking and leaving a mess in the kitchen. My son is a competitive swimmer who spends long hours in a pool every day, and when he's not swimming, he's either been at Scout camp (where my husband is also) or studying for a math placement test scheduled for early August. My kids got/will get their first taste of true freedom at college. When they're under this roof, I always know what they're doing, and it's not because I'm a control freak but rather because I'm here, too.
Last edited by randomparent; 07-06-2018 at 05:41 PM..
Is your contention that we're being deceitful, nobodysbusiness? I know where my kids are because I'm a SAHM. When my daughter isn't working full-time at a local business, she's typically at home. We spend a lot time together because we're very close, and her friends spend time here, too, mostly cooking and leaving a mess in the kitchen. My son is a competitive swimmer who spends long hours in a pool every day, and when he's not swimming, he's either been at Scout camp (where my husband is also) or studying for a math placement test scheduled for early August. My kids got/will get their first taste of true freedom when they at college. When they're under this roof, I always know what they're doing, and it's not because I'm a control freak but rather because I'm here, too.
It is complex.
I don't think parents (even if SAH) can every REALLY know everything their kids are doing. My mom was SAH, and suffice it to say she did not have a clue (mainly because she had to sleep, and I did not - and I also lied a lot and told her what she wanted to hear).
But let's just say that there are kids who are not experimenting with anything - I think that is a low percentage, but I have no numbers.
Do you ever watch the teen movies with the kids kissing up to their parents, then sneaking out the window?
I think a lot of parents are either busy and/or in denial. And I do understand why.
I thought I knew what my kids were doing, but turns out I did not.
Anyway, time will tell.
I think it is normal for teens to want freedom and to want to experiment and have fun.
I don't think parents (even if SAH) can every REALLY know everything their kids are doing. My mom was SAH, and suffice it to say she did not have a clue (mainly because she had to sleep, and I did not - and I also lied a lot and told her what she wanted to hear).
But let's just say that there are kids who are not experimenting with anything - I think that is a low percentage, but I have no numbers.
Do you ever watch the teen movies with the kids kissing up to their parents, then sneaking out the window?
I think a lot of parents are either busy and/or in denial. And I do understand why.
I thought I knew what my kids were doing, but turns out I did not.
Anyway, time will tell.
I think it is normal for teens to want freedom and to want to experiment and have fun.
I don't think it's that odd. I was a very clean-cut kid. There was nothing for my parents to know. I wasn't sneaking out, drinking, doing drugs, or sleeping around at any point in my teenage years. I went to school, I worked, and I rehearsed long hours with my high school marching band. My husband was the same way, only he played soccer and did Scouts. We were both total rule-followers and goody-two-shoes. For better or worse, our kids are just like us. Really. Nobody in this house is sneaking out a window at night. In fact, I'd probably applaud them if they did. It would be quite the accomplishment given the way our house is designed.
It's amazing that all of the parents responding have stellar teens who are doing nothing but working and volunteering.
No drinking/drugging/having sex.
I wonder whose kids are doing that?
Most kids lose their virginity at 16, I think, so . . . interesting!
We answered the question as it was asked in the OP. For the record, I don't think having sex precludes being a stellar teen. I also think many, if not most, teens experiment with alcohol and/or drugs at some point, just like I did.
The vast majority of teens I know are smart, hard working, decent people.
We answered the question as it was asked in the OP. For the record, I don't think having sex precludes being a stellar teen. I also think many, if not most, teens experiment with alcohol and/or drugs at some point, just like I did.
The vast majority of teens I know are smart, hard working, decent people.
I agree. I was also a smart, hard-working, decent person. AND I snuck out. A lot.
I also had a job - sometimes two jobs - there is no way to really tell what your kids are up to unless you are a helicopter parent who has them on surveillance.
The AVERAGE age is 16.9 and 17.2, so no, "most" don't at 16.
I'm curious if you're a parent, and if so, the ages of your kids.
Why are you curious about me?
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