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Old 09-09-2019, 04:37 AM
 
17 posts, read 3,397 times
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I don't have kids and most my friends and people around me have kids, yeah most the time "I cant relate" oh yeah and I almost dropped one of my best friends one year old baby or toddler (not even sure) cause I didn't know how to hold her properly... This doesn't affect my friendships with these women but I can relate to people assuming something is wrong with me cause I'm single and don't have kids yet at age 28.

Its like when I say im single they are like "and kids" and im like no kids...yet! Then I can suddenly sense some form of shock or feel like something is wrong with me.
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Old 09-09-2019, 08:49 AM
 
13,239 posts, read 21,035,597 times
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Branch out. My friends and I often talk about how things were different for us as young adults, most of us married in our mid-twenties. We're all seeing our own offspring wait until almost 30 to commit. I have one engaged son, he'll be 29 when he marries next year, his bride will be 28.

It's far more common than you think, you just need to widen your social circle.
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Old 09-09-2019, 09:12 AM
 
1,057 posts, read 760,793 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Branch out. My friends and I often talk about how things were different for us as young adults, most of us married in our mid-twenties. We're all seeing our own offspring wait until almost 30 to commit. I have one engaged son, he'll be 29 when he marries next year, his bride will be 28.

It's far more common than you think, you just need to widen your social circle.
Agree. Wife and I were DINKS until our mid-30's. There's plenty of child-free people and couples at all stages of life.

Where do you live? Bigger cities, the coasts, and any high-COL area tends to have more people without children.

It sounds like your old friends who have kids have moved on to new relationships with their families. You should move on too.
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Old 09-09-2019, 10:43 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,544 posts, read 17,816,194 times
Reputation: 43006
Quote:
Originally Posted by Destar Menen View Post
I don't have kids and most my friends and people around me have kids, yeah most the time "I cant relate" oh yeah and I almost dropped one of my best friends one year old baby or toddler (not even sure) cause I didn't know how to hold her properly... This doesn't affect my friendships with these women but I can relate to people assuming something is wrong with me cause I'm single and don't have kids yet at age 28.

Its like when I say im single they are like "and kids" and im like no kids...yet! Then I can suddenly sense some form of shock or feel like something is wrong with me.
There is nothing wrong with you. Find different friends. When I was in my late 20s (back in the 1970s) not one of my friends had children at age 28. No one, in my friend group, had children until they were in their thirties. My adult children are in their 30s now, and I believe that none of their friends had children until they were in their 30s, too (some were "pushing 40" before they had their first child).
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Old 09-09-2019, 03:09 PM
 
Location: Texas from Maryland
103 posts, read 15,491 times
Reputation: 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by Destar Menen View Post
I don't have kids and most my friends and people around me have kids, yeah most the time "I cant relate" oh yeah and I almost dropped one of my best friends one year old baby or toddler (not even sure) cause I didn't know how to hold her properly... This doesn't affect my friendships with these women but I can relate to people assuming something is wrong with me cause I'm single and don't have kids yet at age 28.

Its like when I say im single they are like "and kids" and im like no kids...yet! Then I can suddenly sense some form of shock or feel like something is wrong with me.
28 is too young for kids. Maybe just find other friends.
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Old 09-09-2019, 07:37 PM
 
10,968 posts, read 4,467,188 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LilLisa83 View Post
28 is too young for kids. Maybe just find other friends.
I disagree that 28 is too young for kids. Women recently have been led to believe they can wait until their mid-30's for a first pregnancy. Doesn't always work well, statistically. Tick tock tick tock.

But I do agree completely with finding other friends. There are a LOT of late 20somethings who aren't paired up, and don't have kids.
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Old 09-10-2019, 11:59 AM
 
710 posts, read 709,128 times
Reputation: 882
Quote:
Originally Posted by Destar Menen View Post
I don't have kids and most my friends and people around me have kids, yeah most the time "I cant relate" oh yeah and I almost dropped one of my best friends one year old baby or toddler (not even sure) cause I didn't know how to hold her properly... This doesn't affect my friendships with these women but I can relate to people assuming something is wrong with me cause I'm single and don't have kids yet at age 28.

Its like when I say im single they are like "and kids" and im like no kids...yet! Then I can suddenly sense some form of shock or feel like something is wrong with me.
I had kids late in my 30s, I recall those looks. Just move past it. As someone with kids, it is difficult to imagine life without them. But when I was your age, kids were impossible to imagine. Just live you life how you want to live it and forget the rest.
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Old 09-10-2019, 12:09 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,544 posts, read 17,816,194 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LilLisa83 View Post
28 is too young for kids. Maybe just find other friends.
Well, a lot depends on your educational needs. Hubby did not finish his undergraduate degree, master's degree and law degree until he was 28. Ditto for when I finished my master's degree (age 28, as I was working full time). Many of our friends did not finish their Ph.ds and post-doctorate research positions until they were 30 or 32. That is much different than someone who starts their life-long career at age 22 when they graduate from college or at 18 when they graduate from high school.

So, for some people 28 is too young for children but not for everyone. There are plenty of people his own age for the OP to be friends with who do not have children yet.
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Old 09-10-2019, 01:43 PM
 
Location: BBC
504 posts, read 67,060 times
Reputation: 486
Quote:
Originally Posted by Destar Menen View Post
I don't have kids and most my friends and people around me have kids, yeah most the time "I cant relate" oh yeah and I almost dropped one of my best friends one year old baby or toddler (not even sure) cause I didn't know how to hold her properly... This doesn't affect my friendships with these women but I can relate to people assuming something is wrong with me cause I'm single and don't have kids yet at age 28.

Its like when I say im single they are like "and kids" and im like no kids...yet! Then I can suddenly sense some form of shock or feel like something is wrong with me.
There is absolutely not a thing wrong with you, and in fact, in today's day and age where relationships and marriages are folding like a cheap poker game, you're smart to be in the position you are in.

I've laughed at society my entire life, because there's a sort of unwritten rule that by such and such an age you should be married, and by such and such an age you should have an X-number of kids. ROFLMAO!

The movement today as to those choosing to be single and remain single is at an all-time high. People aren't willing to sign their lives away so easily anymore, so good on you for not following the small-minded mindset of society, where life is strictly about getting married and having kids.

Be your own person and boss, and enjoy your freedom while you have it.
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Old Today, 02:10 PM
 
2,366 posts, read 1,505,770 times
Reputation: 3175
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilLisa83 View Post
28 is too young for kids. Maybe just find other friends.
Completely disagree with this. The reality is that it depends on the individual and their situation. Many people are not mature enough to have kids before they hit their 30s (and some aren't mature enough even then). Others are ready and do a great job having kids in their early to mid-20s.

Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Well, a lot depends on your educational needs. Hubby did not finish his undergraduate degree, master's degree and law degree until he was 28. Ditto for when I finished my master's degree (age 28, as I was working full time). Many of our friends did not finish their Ph.ds and post-doctorate research positions until they were 30 or 32. That is much different than someone who starts their life-long career at age 22 when they graduate from college or at 18 when they graduate from high school.

So, for some people 28 is too young for children but not for everyone. There are plenty of people his own age for the OP to be friends with who do not have children yet.
I started having kids at 28. It was definitely before most of my friends, but I was ready. I went back and got my PhD after my kids were a bit older. Most of my colleagues did all the education first and then had kids, so their kids are a good 5-15 years younger than mine. There are advantages and disadvantages to each of those approaches, but I don't regret the path I've taken.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Size18 View Post

Be your own person and boss, and enjoy your freedom while you have it.
Totally agree. Find friends who are in a similar place in life as you are and don't ever feel like you aren't doing the "right" thing. The right thing for you IS the right thing. Friendships and situations in life ebb and flow. I have many friends who are all at different stages in life. There have been times I've been very close to some of them because we are at similar stages in something, and other times we aren't as close for some time because we are dealing with our own, separate issues.
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