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I remember some kids that got held back in the early grades when I was growing up. I always thought they must have been really stupid to not be able to make the grades at that level. That's how your daughter would be viewed by her classmates. "The kid that couldn't make it through Kindergarten the first time around." I wouldn't wish that on anybody's kid. I think your kid's teacher is far removed from reality and if she thinks life will be easier for her in middleschool as the "kid that failed Kindergarten" then she's insane!
OK all joking aside. If she's getting the work done and doing a satisfactory job at it then what's the problem? Just move on to the next school and hopefully her first grade teacher will inspire more confidence than her Kindergarten teacher did.
It depends on the area where you live. In NJ where we are; many parents hold their children back to give them an "advantage". One district over from where I live over half the kids were held back, just because.
If you are moving to a new area, it will be easier to hold her back. Also check and see what the 'norm' is at the school. That said, I think you need to go with your gut; not what everyone else tells you to do. You know her the best.
We plan on holding our child back a year before starting kindergarten. He is an August baby and we feel holding him back a year will benifit him in the long run. Plus it gives us an extra year to save up for his (God willing) collage education.
If the childs teacher recommends holding the child back. I would take that advice. Here is a thread that I started last summer on almost the same subject. Some of the posts may help. Good luck whatever you decide.
Thanks everyone! I spoke with the new school today and they want her to start 1st grade--they said they'll work with children on all levels--and she won't be the youngest at the new school since their cutoff dates are later than in FL. So we registered her for 1st....for now....
That being said, they've agreed to do an assessment on her the month before she starts and will decide then. Of course, I'm terrified of doing wrong by her!
I really think you did the right thing. She'd be so bored repeating K and embarrassed at staying back (no matter how you frame it). Her lack of confidence may just be from a bad match w/the teacher. Either way, some kids are not confident their entire lives, some go through stages, some are confident their whole lives. I don't think you can base what grade they are in on this.
Thanks everyone! I spoke with the new school today and they want her to start 1st grade--they said they'll work with children on all levels--and she won't be the youngest at the new school since their cutoff dates are later than in FL. So we registered her for 1st....for now....
That being said, they've agreed to do an assessment on her the month before she starts and will decide then. Of course, I'm terrified of doing wrong by her!
GOOD! I'm glad. Please, please please let her go on to 1st. So, if she doesn't have confidence, holding her back in K would DESTROY her confidence, ya know? And if she does have confidence, then there is no reason for her to not go to 1st..... so, either way, I see she should go to first!
Just my opinion.
I also still remember (and I'm 27) who got held back, etc and thinking they were stupid. Now, this may not be as big of a deal since she's switching schools, however, 1) kids still find out (she may say something about it) and then she'll have the stigma and 2) she'll still know she had to repeat the grade!
Again, even if she does lack confidence I in no way see how holding her back would help at all!!
I have a relative who had the exact same decision, everything the same except the names of the two different states. She had her do kinder again which was the recommendation of the 1st private school. It was the best thing for this little girl. No one at the new school knew she had already done kinder once already. Academics wasn't the issue, it was maturity.
Having said that I would wait and decide closer to the start of school.
Thanks everyone! I spoke with the new school today and they want her to start 1st grade--they said they'll work with children on all levels--and she won't be the youngest at the new school since their cutoff dates are later than in FL. So we registered her for 1st....for now....
That being said, they've agreed to do an assessment on her the month before she starts and will decide then. Of course, I'm terrified of doing wrong by her!
I am reading many different opinions here and really not one of us can tell you what is right for your child because every child is different and every situation unique. My son was held back in kindergarten also. We moved to a different town and I didn't think he was ready to advance but the school insisted that he was. Two months into first grade, I got a call from the school that he just wasn't keeping up and they placed him back into kindergarten. Now that was a kick in the teeth. My other son on the other hand could have been held back because of his age and maturity, but I felt he was ready and would do fine, so we pushed him ahead and he did great. The good thing is, is that your moving to another location so if you do decide to hold her back, you could tell her that this kindergarten is a little different from the previous kindergarten and they would like her to do kindergarten again just to make sure she learns the same things as the other kids have learned so far. Thats what I told my son and it worked out fine. Also, my daughter's friend repeated kindergarten and that second year she had alot of confidence, felt very good about herself, and unlike what others seem to think about it, the kids were very kind and welcoming to her. I am not discouraging you from pushing her ahead, but if things work out the other way, I just wanted to share some options with you. Good luck with any decision you make.
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Good luck with any decision you make.
